Narrow minded parents, what to do?

Question

my parents are so narrow minded. they have problems with me wearing off shoulders and crop top and anything related to it. they said i should be ashamed of myself. also they found pictures of me hugging my guy friends and they were taken a back? this is so frustrating and annoying. what should i do? i tried explaning to them but they yell at me for doing so.

Wombadino · Accepted Answer

It's good that you know when your parents are wrong. But you must also understand why they're wrong. Most of the time it's because they want the best for you. They don't want you wasting your time with boys or revealing yourself. But opposite relationships and exploring your sexuality are things that we all must do as we grow up.

You're probably at the point where you're not a child, but your parents still see you as one. It's difficult on you, but it's also difficult for them to accept you as an adult. You need to be an adult now by solving your own problems and helping your parents solve theirs. By solving their problems, they will begin to see you as an adult.

Maybe try to give your parents some piece of mind. Invite some friends home and have them meet your parents. It might make them more comfortable.

Try to have more rational arguments with your parents rather than irrational. Rational arguments focus on solving problems, whereas irrational arguments focus on hurting arguers, creating more problems. If the arguments become irrational, take a break for a while, then come back.

Don't be too hard on your parents. They've seen you as their child and protected you for almost two decades. It's time to show them that you can protect yourself now.

This isn't something that can be accomplished in a day. It took me months to gain an adult relationship with my mom, but it was worth it.

The best thing you can do is to talk to them as an adult, not as a child. Don't be irrational, don't get angry, don't swear, and don't insult them. Even if they insult you, be the bigger person and walk away. They will eventually see how mature you have become, and begin to treat you as an equal.

This will be a difficult time. Don't be tempted to run away. Too many children do that, and their relationship with their parents become damaged. This is what it means to be an adult, to solve your problems properly, and not run away.

As someone who has gone through this myself. I wish you the best of luck :).

I-am-a-nobody · Accepted Answer

Realize that your parents are actually loving you. If they didn't care about you they would let you dress up like a slut. They probably don't want you to be promiscuous because they know the problems that promiscuity brings. Apparently, your behavior is not creating a whole lot of trust here. (You might want to ask yourself how you might build genuine trust.)
If you were or are promiscuous, you would probably expect them to help out if there were repercussions (pregnancy, STD's , heartbreak, etc.). They are simply trying to nip it in the bud. If I had to, I'd bet that you're not ready to take on adult responsibilities. When you do, you might have a different opinion of how "narrow minded" your parents are. If you were my daughter, I'd be severely more strict with you.

Carley99 · Accepted Answer

I feel you I can wear almost anything with my parents but when I want to go out with my friends it's a problem it's like they don't see that I can protect myself I want to do in the park with my friend at midday and it's a problem. If you have a problem talking to them and you have a better chance of expressing your self on paper write them a letter and sound respectful and sincere that will probably reach out to them and tell them that they are being unreasonable maybe it will help and things won't change much when your 18

Cccgala · Accepted Answer

I feel you :(
We have no other choice but to follow our parents as long as we live under their roof.

Whenever I am confronted by my parents, I apologize sincerely. However, I reassure them that I have a decent sense of right and wrong and that I'm exercising my freedom without trampling others.

Sure, they're going to yell at you (at us). To combat this, you may want to tell them your side and insist that they hear you out first before assuming that bad things have happened (even if there isn't).

Schrodingerscat · Accepted Answer

I see nothing wrong in hugging guy friends and wearing certain kind of clothes (although occasion and place matters)

Our parents grew up in different times and hence can't understand certain things.
You have two options:
1. Convince them your point of view
2. If one doesn't work, you can do what you want without telling them. But check if the risk is worth it and be more careful.
3. Be independent asap financially. It's very important in my opinion.

LovelyFlower · Accepted Answer

Look at it this way , yes it's annoying af that they keep giving you shit for what you want to wear but hey at least they care right. Just maybe sit down and talk to them and say mom & Dad I respect your opinion on crop tops but also respect my choices and my decisions and there's nothing more to discuss. It's your life and you do what you want. You don't need their approval on everything and that's something they Will need to come to terms with.

xMiax · Answer

You're 17, you still have one year 'til you're an adult. Then, they'll have no control over you. You can attend college and do, wear whatever you want. My friend had really over protective, narrow-minded, super religious parents... you know radical Muslims ones. When she went to college, she exploded. Started finally wearing makeup and got rid of her hijab.. (Head scarf).

pogicraft · Answer

Put up with it... Maybe theyll get used to it but they have different values and theyre not going to be lectured by their daughter.

Be more conservative around them and be ready for them to find more photos of you dressed too risque for them. Some people argue, some deflect, some apologize, etc, so there's no right answer to how to react when they do, just know they will.

Robsinsf53 · Answer

I understand your frustrations, but believe me I'd rather hear your gripes instead of the kids on the streets where I live ask me for food because their parents don't care and are drug addicts. That is just so sickening. Anyway, your parents are just old fashioned but do love you. Seventeen and you'll be possibly moving out? I don't think your parents are going to change.

Prof_Don · Answer

Your parents aren't going to change. Their house their rules... and wdn you're 18 that's not gonna change either. You're still in their house and they are paying your living expenses.

Use your uber-conservative parents as motivation to work hard at school/work and move out on your own.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I think if your a good girl which it appears to be. As long as your not doing stuff with guys that are wrong and not abusing drugs & alcohol i believe they should let you go.

Dott171718181919 · Answer

I think you should stop acting like a slut. Why must you reveal yourself... im sure u wear chokers and booty shorts and are sucking dick. And that’s exactly what they do not want! They don’t want their little girl to b a slut bag but wait it’s alreay too late.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

You should follow their rules until you are 18, can move out of them home, and establish yourself as self-supporting.

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't worry just because you can't wear a crop top or a low cut shirt, fashion is about expressing yourself through clothing not just wearing what everyone else is. And there are definitely parents who are more strict.

JoyGirl · Answer

Hahaha... mine are like that, too. I wouldn't call them narrow minded, really. They are just protective.

Anonymous · Answer

Tell them it is the 21st century and to quit repressing you just because you have a vagina. Fucking weirdos.

danniec4 · Answer

They are trying to keep you safe. You will see it someday.

luckypshah · Answer

I believe that our parents are one who knows everything what is good for us. So, I think they are right. You should obey them

Dale1982 · Answer

You should be happy they give a shit about you. A lot of parents couldn't care less

BD123 · Answer

In another year you will turn 18, pack your bags and hit the road

RealDarkeyes · Answer

Wait it out When you move out they can't tell you what to do

Anonymous · Answer

ur parents are just trying to watch out for you. yeah they might be a bit overprotective but at least u know they care <3

baby181036 · Answer

please act, donot explain-it is a small price for the love& affection of your parents

Anonymous · Answer

They just care for you but they overdo it i guess.. so where are you from?

Anonymous · Answer

Are you from a very small town of India or probably some rural area?

Anonymous · Answer

Why you telling us. Grow up little sweet pea. Life doesn't work the way you want. Don't like it, run away or work so that you can move out. Think

Dred1614returns · Answer

Their roof their rules.

Nik1hil · Answer

You are 17 so it's pointless to fight back

Itismeagain · Answer

You will just have to deal with it I guess

Anonymous · Answer

respect them till you get free

Narrow minded parents, what to do?

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