I dont get friends because I'm ugly?

[Anonymous]

No matter where I go, I always struggle on being acceptable, especially with younger people. At school, I am very social, I smile to everyone, say hello, talk about normal teeny stuff and show interest on others. I dress up normally, my weight and height is normal, but my face is ugly. (And before you say beauty is subjective, it is proven that certain facial features are attractive in every culture. Such as big eyes, small chin and high cheek bones on woman.)
I do not complain or show negative mood to others because I know it's annoying and does not help to get friends. Still there's always been some issue. It started in middle school, when people started to get more focused on their looks. Im wondering if this is a biological, subconscious thing that explains why I don't get friends so easily?

[kaylaS91]

You don't get friends because you're using your poor self confidence as justification for putting in zero effort towards meeting other people who could potentially become your friends. Without putting in the same amount of effort to have a social circle like everyone else does, it shouldn't come as a surprise that you're lonely af.

It's not fun to be friends with someone who has martyr complex.

[Asker]

If you read what i wrote, thats the opposite of what im doing. I never ever bring up my looks on the convos and i always approach people as much as i can. At that point i dont even think about my looks.

[kaylaS91]

talking to people about 'normal teen stuff' =/= confidence
You seem pretty aware of that, too, soo... I'm not sure why you ask a question about it. Are you hoping someone will offer you a magic potion of confidence or something?

[SarahsSummer]

While high school can be tough and cliquey, I don't believe your facial features are the deciding factor of having and making friends. Look deeper into yourself and the traits you've mentioned.

[Lilhoney]

I really dont think thats it , sometimes you just dont click with people you'll find a group just wait on it!

[Asker]

I've tried several places, several schools, and it does not work. Meanwhile attractive people gets friends right away. I dont think it depends on the environment anymore.

[Lilhoney]

That fucking sucks people are so shallow nowadays, honestly girl just stay focused in life and find something you love to do and strive you'll make friends on the way but they aren't THAT important

[Asker]

Well as a social and normal person friends are the thing that gives me happiness and motivation on other stuff.. soo yea

[Omar5881]

I think it's biological probably, well I don't know be funny and mock about yourself so that no one mocks you that's it , I don't think having a friend is about looks that's kinda a relationship thingy not friendship

[Asker]

But in my country majorty of especially girls are above average and im way under. So I feel like i dont fit in..

[Omar5881]

You don't fit in coz they " look " "seem " better than you
Being good looking is good but that don't give you more value than others

Besides you're under them looks wise? Well yeah sure not everyone is equal doesn't mean it's bad , you are probably good at something

[Asker]

But i can't control them, and that means i can't force them to be my friends even though I would like to have friends.

[Omar5881]

Get out of your circle , if someone don't wanna be your friend then why do you? Try meeting new people , be nice , funny and confident about yourself
Being confident means "yeah I am not the most beautiful but fuck I don't care this didn't add or subtract value from me "
Being confident doesn't mean fooling yourself into thinking you're the most beautiful

[Asker]

I've tried in every place I go, several hobbies and schools. And I never show my insecurities to others or talk about how bad I look like. I do everything I can to make myself look good from the inside and outside. The harsh truth is that I can't control other's minds more than this and in the end they will choose whether they accept me or not.

[Omar5881]

Well you're under 18 , this part of your time sucks not a lot of people have it easy this time ya know
How old are you?

[Asker]

Yea but Im sure if i was more attractive I could have more friends. 17

[Omar5881]

Not really you would have fake friends, you realise like the biggest number of real friends are 5 and that's a lot
You may have people that you know but actual real friends are counted on a single hands

[Omar5881]

Single hand *

[Asker]

But i dont have social life even though i try and it makes me sad.

[Omar5881]

Try harder and see what you're doing wrong and fix it

[Asker]

I've tried for years.. im getting tired of trying and not getting acceptance bc of my looks. I would like to do cosmetic surgery.

[Omar5881]

That's bitching, you have other problem in your personality but you just try to make your looks the problem coz what u say is absloute bullshit , people won't decline a friendship just because they look ugly

[Asker]

Actually it is proven that attractive people get more acceptance, by science. And I'm everything I described on this question, there's no point on lying about it. I asked this question because I'm confused what I'm doing wrong.

[Omar5881]

"More attraction " doesn't mean "all the attraction "

[Asker]

So tell me why I dont get friends?

[Omar5881]

I don't know you to say

[hulkster]

why don't you go to the funfair, get some candy floss. get some face painting done. go on the bounce castle. You meet kids of your age.

[Phantom-menace82]

I really don't think its your looks, is the problem. I am sorry to say, I think you are the problem, why? because you are making the looks an issue yourself.
You have made up in your mind up that, your ugly, and you can't and won't ever get friends, so when it comes wanting to make friends, you have already made up this story in your mind, I am ugly, I can't make friends. You are actually creating self for filling prophecy, you are determinded to prove yourself, I can't make friends.
By actually creating this story of yourself in your mind, you are actually going to deliberately make people not want to be friends with you.

Whatever you believe or don't believe, you are usually right.

The first thing you need to do, is change yourself, and your thoughts, and what you think of yourself. Your thoughts, determine your actions and behaviour.

Don't try and change the world, change yourself first, and the world will change with you.

[Phantom-menace82]

I can tell you now, most people don't give a shit about you, or your looks. Most people are too concerned about themselves, and thier own looks. lets puts this way, the good looking guy or girl you see walking down the street, won't be thinking about your looks, they will be more worried their own looks. Majority of people don't think outside of their own ego.

[Phantom-menace82]

People generally don’t think outside themselves a great deal of time. It is a sad but simple truth that the average person filters their world through their ego, meaning that they think about most things in terms of “me” or “my”. This means that, unless who you are or what you have done directly affects another person or their life, they are unlikely to spend much time thinking about you at all.

[Phantom-menace82]

You have 2 choices in life, you can the best actor of your own life, or you can be the person, who reacts to everyone else's drama, meaning you get pulled in by what others say to you, your ugly, you are useless etc.
Stand up for you what you believe, and just be true to yourself, only then you will be happy. You will never be happy, listening to other people.

[Asker]

As I said, I never show others my negative side and i NEVER complain anyone about my looks. I act totally normally in front of others and try my best to get friends and ask them out. But when I get no results, I feel like I'm unaccepted and it really breaks me. In fact, when I was younger (under 13) I thought I'm very pretty. It was the time when looks wasn't important thing to anyone yet. But in the teens years, when people started to wear makeup and even chose their friends by looks subconciously, I felt like I'm being left out. The ugly ones became nerds and normal/attractive ones became more social and got more friends. I'm an ugly person who doesn't want to be a nerd or other unsocial/introvert person. Tell me what can I do more to get normal friends? I've tried my best to be nice with everyone and Im always positive in social situations.

[Asker]

And I'm not only being nice because I want to impress them, I'm being nice because it makes me happy too. It's just that when I get home and no one wants to hang out with me outside the school, i start questioning what am i doing wrong and the only reason I can think of is the fact that people in my age, no matter what their gender, race or sexuality is, ARE indeed superficial in the end. It happens subconsciously and it is proven that people tend to like people who doesn't look abnormal. I look extremely ugly compared to them.

[Asker]

And im optimist person in general, and whenever I've gone to a new place, I've never thought that i couldnt get friends, i always think i have hope. But when this same circle repeats enough many times, you get unmotivated and pessimist. When u get no results from hard work, it really puts u down. Im not talking about a day or month, I talk about YEARS of trying in different places.

[Phantom-menace82]

I think you should just stop trying to make friends. and go and do activities outside of school you enjoy, and focus on your goals and dreams. When you are focused on your own life, people will generally will want to start knowing to you.

Having friends is not going to make you happy, sometimes having friends can make you unhappy. I think it would best for you, just go out and enjoy meeting people, and socialising with people. Eventually without trying, suddenly you will meet people who have the same interests in you.

[Asker]

I do other stuff of course, what else can I do when I dont have friends? Its just that loneliness will kill you in a long term and it's not normal to be lonely, people need that social life. I do activitetes and play instruments etc, but I still miss social life. It's one major key to have healthy life.

[Asker]

Certainly FRIENDS, who care about you and support you and u can trust them and have fun with. Not some random people who you see once or twice.

[Phantom-menace82]

Well I didn't have any friends at your age. School years can be the toughest years for some people. Just keep trying, be patient, there has to be people who like you. I am sorry don't think its to do with your looks, I don't go for friends based on their looks, mainly personality. Between 13-18 can be the toughest years of your life, when it comes to getting friends. I didn't have any friends until I went to college, that was about when I was 20 years old. I absolutely no friends before then. But I didn't care, I just focused on getting my education first, friends will come later.

[Phantom-menace82]

I would suggest try and focus on something that you love doing, and focusing on getting your education. thats most important for now. Trust me, when you get to my age, you will be more interested in having a good job, than friends. Friends will come and go in your life, but your future can't wait.

[Asker]

I love being social and do stuff together and alone. I can see you have been lonely by your bitter attitude. I dont want to become the same when im older and thats why I want friends who gives me hope.

[Phantom-menace82]

ok bye

[Phantom-menace82]

LOL you are the one with a bitter attitude. Now I can see why you are lonely. your attitude stinks. Bye dumbass

[Phantom-menace82]

at least I have friend you loser hahah you stupid ass can''t get friends. bye

[Asker]

Are you sure you are over 18?

[QueenofCups]

Do you have a boyfriend? One person who thinks you're beautiful can really make a difference.

[Asker]

I dont want a boyfriend i want normal friends who care about me as i care about them.

[QueenofCups]

I'll be honest. I don't have any ugly friends. Not intentional, just happened that way.

[Asker]

Probably subconsciously as I said.

[disgustingweebtrash]

Attractiveness in friendship is something I don't really understand, you MIGHT not plan on having a relationship or having sex with this person so why does their attractiveness come into play?

[Asker]

Its psychological

[McVicker]

When it comes to friends no one cares what you look like unless they aren't your friend.

[Nahid1234]

You can make friends 😊

[rahulsingh0712]

killer_d707

snap chat id

let's chat

[Nahid1234]

Wow haha