My Mom is Cheating on my dad? What should I do?

[caroline67]

in August I went on my moms phone and caught that she was cheating and I have kept looking on her phone and she's still cheating. She is always saying she's going out with her friends but i know she's cheating on my dad. I brought it up to her and she slapped me and told me I dont know shit and not go on her phone. I dont know what to do. I can't tell my Dad because I dont have any solid proof without her phone and now she is deleting all of the evidence. My brother had also caught her on the phone in her car talking to other men. I dont know what to do.

[Curious_Jane]

Its really your parent's business. But the fact that both you and your brother know about this and didn't tell your father will be held against the both of you later. What really bothers me is when your mother slapped you across your face. Shows she cannot reason and gives up to temptations.

Some mobile companies have all the histories recorded once you login to the user's account online showing all text messages and all call histories that cannot be deleted.

There are 2 options you can do.
1. Pretend not to know and wait until your father finds out.

Or

2. Both you and your brother tell your father. Let him do some investigation as your mother deletes evidence from her phone.

Once you tell your father, there might be a possibility for separation or divorce.

[helpmate82]

It sucks i am sorry, but it's best not to get involved. I really think the fact that she slapped you is even worse. That also tells me that you can't reason with her. I'm so sorry

[RuthAnn1781]

You should talk to her and tell her that if she doesn't talk to your dad about it then you will

[AlphaM1]

My advice is, be in a good relationship with ur dad, do not tell him anything about what you have seen. Ask him if he loves your mom and ask questions but DO NOT tell him what you have seen. Your mom will eventually understand that you are on his side. Then, she will have to come clean, as long as you don't have evidence, there is no point discussing it with him. understand?

[Digital_Fruit_37]

If you think that is bad. Imagine when your dad finds out (and he will) cheaters always slip up. And he finds out you knew a didn't say anything. It would feel like you would be picking a side by telling him but it the grand scheme of it all... It's never a bad thing to do the right thing. Even if it sucks sometimes.

[Digital_Fruit_37]

Picture your husband one day did that to you. And one of your children knew. Would you want them to tell you? Cheating is the biggest and most selfish betrayal. Especially to your dad, to you and your brother.

[Digital_Fruit_37]

She didn't just cheat on your dad. But on to you as well and the rest of your family.

[Digital_Fruit_37]

My ex wife cheated on me and we had a little boy together. Now it's just me and my son. I am happy.

[caroline67]

Im sorry your wife cheated on you and Im glad you are happy now with your son :) Thank you for you advice its very helpful especially from someone who has experienced being cheated on it gives me a better perspective. It just sucks having to choose sides between my parents.

[Digital_Fruit_37]

I know. I was forced when I was little when my parents got divorced. I'm not sorry for being cheated on. We are more happier this way. I'd feel bad if I have did something wrong. I live guilt free. 🙂 I'm sorry for you though. You were basically forced into a situation that no one would ask for. My heart goes to you, your brother, and your dad.

[caroline67]

Thank you

[Digital_Fruit_37]

Don't look at it as you having to choose between them. Your mom made that choice not you.

[booshlinux]

You don't need an ounce of proof. Your dad will believe you and confront your mom which will most likely cause a whole lot of fighting and drama but it's better than living day to day knowing that your mom is pulling some stunt like this

[Shreyash108]

Gatheryhe proof in first place and then talk to her (without letting her know that u have the proof)... get to know what her intentions are and then decide whether to tell your dad or not

[Sabretooth]

tell your father. by not telling him... well, it's basically a threesome-meaning, you become just as guilty

[caroline67]

i know i will be guilty for knowing and not telling or telling either way

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do anything. Not your business and eventually, your dad will find out anyway. This way you're not involved in it, aside that it's your parents.

[Sabretooth]

which is why she's involved-kids are always involved-and what's more-she knows

[Opinion Owner]

@Sabretooth but it's not her place to say or do anything is my point.

[Sabretooth]

it is because she knows.

[Opinion Owner]

@Sabretooth Still not her place. But we'll have to agree to disagree I can see already :)

[Sabretooth]

it shouldn't be-but sometimes, life forces otherwise. she now-by saying nothing-she bbecomes just as guilty as her mother

[TXKen]

She should talk with her father. It is far worse in the long run to be forced to keep the secret than the chaos that could result. The mother is doing something despicable and doubling down on her bad behavior by not coming clean when caught by the kids. The mother not coming clean expecting the children to live with this secret is a form of child abuse. Kids should not be forced to live in a toxic environment. She should tell her father now before it gets worse. If the mother cares she will come clean and try to work things out. Otherwise if it gets bad hopefully the father will protect his kids from the mothers deceit and lack of a conscious

[Sabretooth]

@TXKen agreed. Now, she has a responsibility to to tell her father-I hate that's such responsibility has been forced into her lap.

[TXKen]

I wouldn't say a responsibility because the child is blameless in this situation. I just think in the long run talking to the father will do less harm to her and her brother and hopefully get them out of the situation faster.

[Sabretooth]

@TXKen not if the child knows-then, the child is knowingly keeping secrets

[Sabretooth]

It shouldn't be like this-but in my experience- the word parents are often mean roommates

[Anonymous]

There's a number of reasons why your Mum is cheating on your father! It could be that she's bored in her marriage and needs to spice up her life, your father isn't having sex with her and looking after sexual needs, she may be feeling lonely etc...

Best to keep out of it because you don't want to be in the middle of the storm that might happen if your Mum gets caught out by your Dad!

[0112358]

You know she's seeing others.

What you may not know is why, or what the nature of the intimate relationship between your parents is.

[caroline67]

I dont think my parents are separated. I think it would be fair if they told me at least

[0112358]

I didnt' suggest they were separated.

You don't know if your father has stepped out for years. You don't know if he stopped sleeping with her years ago. You don't know if they have an agreement or not. If you don't want to ask those questions, drop it. If you DO want to know, then ask your mother why.

[LunaJ]

⬆ listen to this man, kid. he told it well.
you don't know the reasons behind the act. behind every cheating there's one.

people telling you here to speak to dad (you should shock him? really? that's really a clever advice...)

my advice: it's not your business. if you wanna talk about it - ask your mom. what makes her to do it? or, at least she can give you an answer, what could make you relax, and then deal with your life.

[0112358]

@LunaJ agree I would not jump to speaking to the dad first. If you want to wade in you talk to your mother first. And if she basically says BS and your dad is a good husband being mistreated you considered teling her you won’t keep it a secret and she needs to say something or end it, or you will. But if the dad is completely neglectful or abusive maybe you just accept they’re married in name and let it go.

[DJPanda]

Is best to let him find out on his own rather than you telling him because your mother would not like you for telling him but if you prefer your dad tell him

[justwondering444]

Realize she is your mom if u agree or not ur little ass goin to be her spittn immage so learn how she cheats be there to know how she gets causght u go tell u fuk urself with both parents keep tht mouth zipped so ur dad doesn't resent u but watch her down fall so u dnt do tht later

[CookieCutter2]

Just get with your brother and tell your dad what transpired. Tell him you know you don't have proof, but your experience should be enough. Then step back and allow him to decide what to do next

[Gedadia]

It is difficult but stay out of it. She is your mother but she is also a woman who has needs sadly your father many not be giving what your mother wants..

[Blake0048]

Make sure its on her phone screen shot and send to yourself to show dad or just tell your dad once you know its on her phone. Its not fair to him he needs to know.

[AzureGirl]

Just tell your dad. And then stay out of it.

[Rick912]

The best thing is to do nothing. If you do anything, you will have to pick one parent to support and lose the other parent.

[eagle1951]

tell your dad what you know and what has happened. leave the rest to him

[jacquesvol]

It's their problem , not yours. Get some popcorn for this show

media.giphy.com/media/Z0tFWbRWGwwTe/giphy.gif

[caroline67]

i dont consider it a show it has really stressed me out and really breaks my heart

[jacquesvol]

Take a mental distance from what happens.

[Anonymous]

its easy get one your girlfriends to hook up with your dad...

[Insanyx12]

Tell him and things will work out for the best

[GatorBomb]

You both need to tell your dad.

[venomouskitty]

Tell your father.

[aj9976]

Till your dad he has to know and leave it to him