Spanking a bottom for disobeying rules is one thing, it's a way of discipline. Smacking a child on the face is another and I'd call that abuse. I was raised with spanking and will probably do the same with my kids but not so severe. I've been smacked on the mouth and the hand as a child but mostly would be forced to stand in a corner and/or be spanked.
It does way more psychological damage to the kids than it could ever do good. This is pretty much uncontroversial by now among psychologists.
Also, most parents who use violence on their kids don't do it for their kids but for themselves. People often resort to violence when they feel powerless and frustrated.
We talked about this in my law class, and legally, if it doesn’t leave a long lasting mark, it isn’t abuse in most states. Legality aside, I think it’s abuse. You’re hitting a child, get that through your skull. If you can’t use your words, how can you expect your kid to? Real parenting shouldn’t require violence to maintain control of a situation, because you’re supposed to be the role model; act like one.
this pretty much happened throughout my younger childhood (4-11) but because sometimes it would be too rough, it did leave a slightly damaged view on adults with authority to me. My mother called it abuse (my father did it) and my friends do too, but I haven't known what to call it because it was kind of the norm for me if you know what I mean? I haven't called it abuse or even assault, it's just a punishment.
If done right it is just discipline. My parents used gentle spanking on the hand as a form of discipline. But I know that there are plenty of parents who don't do it right, and take their anger out on their children. Thus, I think it is better that no one uses spanking as discipline than it be an option for all.
I think it depends on the intent, how badly, how often etc. I got hit and I would have done better without it, it caused resentment, a simple explanation would have sufficed. Then there are some kids that need it and some parents that dont but let their kids do whatever and walk all over them.
Totally agree with you. I was spanked many many times as a child. I'm a nurse now:) I also beat the shit outta my four year old. Haha I'm kidding but I do spank him. I always use the pancake turner because I feel my hand isn't good enough through his clothes (I have small hands and not as strong as a man) my question for you is do you spank in public? I'm too scared to cause a scene.
Even if it wasn’t abuse you’re teaching your child that if someone doesn’t do something they like or agree with it’s okay to hit them. Not only that but you’re showing your child that you have no respect for them.
Yeah because yelling at them in a fucking shop will make kids stop doing what they're doing. I was spanked once in a shop by my mom and I stopped misbehaving for an entire day. I understood what I was doing wrong. Just one spank at the right time can make a misbehaving kid stop (as long as it isn't a stiff one, just the act)
I guess either I'm weird or I just wasn't hit hard enough but I liked being spanked as a kid. When I was like 9 I told my dad it made my privates thump when he hit me and it never happened again. I just got my stuff taken away with was awful, makes me wish I never said anything.
I agree completely. If it doesn't leave marks, I don't think it's bad. Spanking is less about inciting pain than it is about the shock factor, you know? It taught me a hell of a lot better than grounding me ever did.
Wow. good subject to talk about. well when I was growing up I got beat. hit with hairbrush slapped on public. then my father would come home and I would get beat again so hard I wet my pants. thats not alright. spanking and beating are different. but I turned out ok. never hit my kids
Yes and I would completely agree that what you went through was abuse and is horrible thing to happen. But at least you can see the difference. Sorry you went through that
I won't lie to you, it worked though, I was so afraid of my parents I always tried to stay good. but for some people it backfires and they grow up mad and are abusive themselves. but a spank on the but seems to be ok. a lot of people would frown upon that now though. kids these days literally have no respect for parents
This is true and my parents knew this. Which is why they always explained what I did. Why it's wrong and that the spank was used as the consequence. Never to be used for aggression or violence. I always saw it as the consequences if I did something wrong. So I did my best to be respectful loving and kind
Old school discipline and there’s no need for it now just a short cut parenting method because dealing with why the child is behaving badly is too time consuming
Never physically disciplined my kids and they behave perfectly for the most part
Well it depends one what you do to the child. And age. At 1-3 tell them no and lightly smack their hand 4-6 use my hand after that I’ll use a belt and and hitting them on the ass a few times is fine to me. But once you start leaving welts, bruises, cuts, or any form of injury like that that’s when it turns into abuse.
I think it depends on the intentions of your heart and how you do the spanking. If you hit the kid to get rid of your anger, then it's 100% abuse. A light spank to discipline your child because he doesn't obey with words anymore isn't abuse.
It's discipline I guess but I wouldn't hit my child and I wouldn't expect anyone else to because I don't want them thinking it's alright to go around hitting others and I wouldn't want to hurt my child
It ain't shit my dad always gave me a quick backhand to the face for being a dick but going beyond that and continued beating leaving a real injury is abuse anything less works thats why im getting 80's and everyone else is failing at least the other males
It is most definitely abuse! You should never physically discipline your child. That will most likely lead to them have problems with their psychy or them being abusive themselves
In the early years it can work (1-5). From 6 years other tactics to discipline should be used.
Like how you said spanking can become physical abuse when its done to hard for example, but it also can become abusw when you don't give no reason it, at least no good reason.
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Is it abuse? Not per se. Sure, there are parents who use spanking as an excuse to cover their abuse, but itself isn't abuse.
That being said, children can be disciplined without having to rely on physical punishment almost all of the time bar few exceptions.
Spanking a bottom for disobeying rules is one thing, it's a way of discipline. Smacking a child on the face is another and I'd call that abuse. I was raised with spanking and will probably do the same with my kids but not so severe. I've been smacked on the mouth and the hand as a child but mostly would be forced to stand in a corner and/or be spanked.
It does way more psychological damage to the kids than it could ever do good. This is pretty much uncontroversial by now among psychologists.
Also, most parents who use violence on their kids don't do it for their kids but for themselves. People often resort to violence when they feel powerless and frustrated.
We talked about this in my law class, and legally, if it doesn’t leave a long lasting mark, it isn’t abuse in most states. Legality aside, I think it’s abuse. You’re hitting a child, get that through your skull. If you can’t use your words, how can you expect your kid to? Real parenting shouldn’t require violence to maintain control of a situation, because you’re supposed to be the role model; act like one.
this pretty much happened throughout my younger childhood (4-11) but because sometimes it would be too rough, it did leave a slightly damaged view on adults with authority to me. My mother called it abuse (my father did it) and my friends do too, but I haven't known what to call it because it was kind of the norm for me if you know what I mean? I haven't called it abuse or even assault, it's just a punishment.
If done right it is just discipline. My parents used gentle spanking on the hand as a form of discipline. But I know that there are plenty of parents who don't do it right, and take their anger out on their children. Thus, I think it is better that no one uses spanking as discipline than it be an option for all.
I think it depends on the intent, how badly, how often etc. I got hit and I would have done better without it, it caused resentment, a simple explanation would have sufficed. Then there are some kids that need it and some parents that dont but let their kids do whatever and walk all over them.
Totally agree with you. I was spanked many many times as a child. I'm a nurse now:) I also beat the shit outta my four year old. Haha I'm kidding but I do spank him. I always use the pancake turner because I feel my hand isn't good enough through his clothes (I have small hands and not as strong as a man) my question for you is do you spank in public? I'm too scared to cause a scene.
Even if it wasn’t abuse you’re teaching your child that if someone doesn’t do something they like or agree with it’s okay to hit them. Not only that but you’re showing your child that you have no respect for them.
Spanking does not teach your child that.
Yes, yes it does.
Yeah because yelling at them in a fucking shop will make kids stop doing what they're doing. I was spanked once in a shop by my mom and I stopped misbehaving for an entire day. I understood what I was doing wrong. Just one spank at the right time can make a misbehaving kid stop (as long as it isn't a stiff one, just the act)
I guess either I'm weird or I just wasn't hit hard enough but I liked being spanked as a kid. When I was like 9 I told my dad it made my privates thump when he hit me and it never happened again. I just got my stuff taken away with was awful, makes me wish I never said anything.
I agree completely. If it doesn't leave marks, I don't think it's bad. Spanking is less about inciting pain than it is about the shock factor, you know? It taught me a hell of a lot better than grounding me ever did.
Wow. good subject to talk about. well when I was growing up I got beat. hit with hairbrush slapped on public. then my father would come home and I would get beat again so hard I wet my pants. thats not alright. spanking and beating are different. but I turned out ok. never hit my kids
Yes and I would completely agree that what you went through was abuse and is horrible thing to happen. But at least you can see the difference. Sorry you went through that
If that's your decision to rather not use spanking as a form of punishment I can respect that
I won't lie to you, it worked though, I was so afraid of my parents I always tried to stay good. but for some people it backfires and they grow up mad and are abusive themselves. but a spank on the but seems to be ok. a lot of people would frown upon that now though. kids these days literally have no respect for parents
This is true and my parents knew this. Which is why they always explained what I did. Why it's wrong and that the spank was used as the consequence. Never to be used for aggression or violence. I always saw it as the consequences if I did something wrong. So I did my best to be respectful loving and kind
Old school discipline and there’s no need for it now just a short cut parenting method because dealing with why the child is behaving badly is too time consuming
Never physically disciplined my kids and they behave perfectly for the most part
Well it depends one what you do to the child. And age. At 1-3 tell them no and lightly smack their hand 4-6 use my hand after that I’ll use a belt and and hitting them on the ass a few times is fine to me. But once you start leaving welts, bruises, cuts, or any form of injury like that that’s when it turns into abuse.
I completely agree with this
I think it depends on the intentions of your heart and how you do the spanking. If you hit the kid to get rid of your anger, then it's 100% abuse.
A light spank to discipline your child because he doesn't obey with words anymore isn't abuse.
It's discipline I guess but I wouldn't hit my child and I wouldn't expect anyone else to because I don't want them thinking it's alright to go around hitting others and I wouldn't want to hurt my child
It ain't shit my dad always gave me a quick backhand to the face for being a dick but going beyond that and continued beating leaving a real injury is abuse anything less works thats why im getting 80's and everyone else is failing at least the other males
It is most definitely abuse! You should never physically discipline your child. That will most likely lead to them have problems with their psychy or them being abusive themselves
In the early years it can work (1-5). From 6 years other tactics to discipline should be used.
Like how you said spanking can become physical abuse when its done to hard for example, but it also can become abusw when you don't give no reason it, at least no good reason.