Can a baby make a guy stay with you?

[caroline_24]

My 4th month of pregnancy I find out in MySpace that my boyfriend was cheating on me. That day I went to his house and his only words he said that he preferred her over the baby. And that he didn't want the baby in his life. I decided to still have my baby and be a single mother. After he finds out that I have the baby he sends me a message in MySpace saying how sorry he is, and that he wants to be with me and the baby? Need advice

Updates

+1 y

i don't expect him to stay with me because of the baby. I did overcome that. he is the one looking for me and asking for forgiveness. and that he wants to be in my life and the babies. I don't use my baby like other girls do to make a guy stay.

[Darkfairie17]

I honestly wouldn't recommend keeping the baby just to get him to stay. Keep the baby because you want to, not because of him. He may even come to resent you if you keep the baby without his knowledge.

I'm not trying to discourage you from having your baby, but don't set your expectations to think he is going to come back with open arms and want to be with you again. I have seen this happen before wehre a girl gets pregnant to get the guy to stay. Often enough he leaves, parties, sleeps with other women. And doesn't come back, but finds a new girl and has a baby with her. So I wouldn't put yourself in that position, only to be dissapointed.

Go on with your life, forget about the loser. You will have friends and family who will love you and your baby, look forward to that :) Be positive and build your life around you and your child, not someone who leaves you and could care less about you.

[caroline_24]

i understand what you mean. I did try go go to an abortion clinic after all that happen but the doctor said I was too far along. so basically I didn't have a choice. I know that a baby doesn't make a guy stay with you. but he is the one looking for me I think he expect me to look for him an begg him which I didn't. after having my baby it made me more mature about things as I tell him that I do forgive him and if he is happy with his girlfriend to b with her.

[learningthegame16]

I feel I can answer this, because this happened to my brother.

Yes, a baby can make a guy stay with you (not always though). My brother had been with his girlfriend for about 4 years. It was a sh*t relationship to say the least. They were in the progress for breaking up for real, when she got pregnant (delibrately). So he stayed with her.

Their relationship hasn't changed in the slightest except the baby acts as a type of buffer between them.

My brother isn't happy, he's told me and my mum he's only cares about his son. Plus there's another kid on the way.

My advice would be, don't take him back. You deserve happiness, your baby and even he does. Let him be apart of the kid's life but don't let him into your heart again.

[caroline_24]

i've told him that I'm a forgiving person and that I do let him be on my daughters life. but starting a relationship again why. with everything that happen it would be hard. I'm still hurt. and plus I've told him that a baby is not an excuse to be with me. he is the one who is insisting to be with me. after what happen I didn't do what every girl does use their kids.

[learningthegame16]

You've done the right thing. Just remain firm and eventually he'll get the message :)

[Arwens-Fire]

I don't recommend trying to make this work...meaning have a relationship with him.Maybe it is a good thing that he is in the babies life helping out financially ect.But thinking that you guys will work because of the baby is a no no.I know he apologized,but his behavior before the childbirth was a BIG red flag.You don't want to go down that road with him.If he left you once,he could do it again.

[caroline_24]

thanks for the advice

[Arwens-Fire]

You're welcome and I wish you only the best.Please give updates.

[1jzsupra]

Yes it can I have seen it happen before. My friend got his girl pregnant and within 3 months of the pregnancy he left her and went out and partied and slept with other girls. When the baby was finally due he says he has found a new found love for her and the baby. To me it just seems hopeless as I know he only wants to be with the baby not the girl. It is not worth trying to make it work for a babies sake cause in the end you both will not be happy causing the baby to not live in a happy enviroment.

[caroline_24]

thanks for the advice!

[Dom163]

As his lack of emotion shows he is probably not going tocome back but from the sounds of it you don't want someone who shows no respect for you and your child in your life or your babies in all honesty you are probably better off

[caroline_24]

thanks for the advice

[naturally]

File a claim for child support and that's all the involvement he should have in your life.

Once a cheater always a cheater.

You take him back now all you'll have are 2 more children, a broken heart and an ex husband who's skrewing your best friend behind your back.

You need to think of what's best for you and your child. It's not him.

[magnoliacrush]

A baby will never make a guy stay with you. He probably got a lot of people giving him a hard time not accepting responsibility of his child. I promise you.. once he feels like things get too hard, he's going to call it quits. If you think having him in your baby's life will benefit you and her child, then go for it, but keep on your guard. He's not a good person. Think what's best for you and your child, not for your emotional needs.

[Purfectkitty08]

A baby doesn't make a guy stay with you...sorry but it won't make him stay with you or any more faithful to you...Things probably went sour with the girl he choose over you,(when you needed him) so he's coming back to you...as much as I'm sure you want your child to have a father in the picture...you don't have to be in a relationship with him...I wouldn't let him come back..he left you once..whose to say he won't do it again?

[BunnyToast]

A baby can't make a guy stay. I really wish women would realize this by now.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't hold your breath. If he was willing to choose another woman over his own child. What else could he choose over him/her? Put your baby first and don't worry about what he's doing...

[Anonymous]

A baby is not a reason for 2 people to stay together who aren't meant to be together . you're only going to end up separating.

[caroline_24]

i don't expect my baby to make him stay with me. but he is the father and I just want him to be part of my daughter life.

[Brooke03]

No. A baby won't make him stay and sex won't make him love you.