Can girls and guys just stay platonic friends forever?

[TheSkyIsFallingDown]

Can girls and guys be just friends? I mean platonic. I always heard that guys always have an “ulterior motive” when talking to girls and wanting to be their “friend”… that they always want it to lead to something sexual or “more”. Is this true? If so, maybe that’s why I have no guy friends sadly. Every time I try making a friend with a guy, platonic, he ends up falling for me and wanting more and I say to him that I only see him as a friend then he leaves me as a friend. Like, we build a good friendship and then he just dumps me as a friend because his motive was to eventually lead to something more. It’s not fair. But guys, is it true? Do you only want to be friends with girls that you feel would make a good potential sexual or romantic partner in the future? Or do you actually make friends with girls whom you feel no attraction to whatsoever and see like a sister? I don’t know. I want to hear a guy’s perspective on the issue. I want to know the TRUTH. Thanks guys! =)

[Barnesy]

Sky, I think it is possible, if both parties want it. Obviously women will probably find it easier to have a simple friendship with a man, if she is willing to be firm with saying 'no'. But men, especially young men with huge amounts of testosterone are unlikely to want to spend time with a woman where there is no chance of sex. These men are likely to spend their spare time playing sports, driving fast cars etc etc not sitting around talking with a woman, he will view this as wasting time.

Me personally I am not typical. I am married with 2 small children and not interested in changing this. Through work however I met a woman, we have always gotten along very well as workmates for 5 years but in the last 6 months we have developed quite a strong friendship. We are getting really close. We are both aware it will remain platonic and are happy with this.

This 6 months friendship has been the most satisfying friendship I have ever had, I mean EVER. It is pure, open, honest and simply brilliant. I'm hoping it continues like this because she is turning into a member of the family, my wife likes her, my kids love her. It's great. She's like the sister I never had, I love her.

Those men whose minds are closed to women being nothing other than sexual partners are missing out. When they grow up and mature hopefully they will realise the magnificence of the female mind. A mind that views the world in a different way and can teach men things.

[Anonymous]

Well you want the truth so I'll give it to you even though you won't like it. I'm almost 30 and over the years I've noticed I make no effort to be friends with a woman unless there is at least a tiny bit of sexual attraction going on for me. If a woman likes me as more than a friend I'll take it as a compliment and be friends with her but I'm not going to put any effort into the friendship unless she is all over me or either I think she might lead me to friendships with other women that I might have a chance with something more at. I hate making guys sound like animals because there is a lot more to us than that but I confess my desire for a platonic friendship with a woman is almost zero.

[TheSkyIsFallingDown]

Wow, thank you so much for being honest! I appreciate it! =) Very very very good to know!

[Shaun]

Seriously, what's the point? What does a man need with a female friend? What does he get out of the deal?

[TheSkyIsFallingDown]

WOW! That makes me feel like trash! Like you guys don't even view us as human beings.. only sexual partners! Soooooo sad!

[TheSkyIsFallingDown]

Girls are capable of being VERY good platonic friends!

[Shaun]

It's more like females like to use platonic male friends as emotional tampons. I'm asking what the man gets out of the relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

I almost feel bad but then I remember how women judge men and it doesn't hurt so much. I'm almost 30 like I said so I know how women judge men and women are no pure souls or saints either. Guys and girls judge harshly and the sexes judge on different things and befriend each other at different rates for different reasons. I see reality.

[TheSkyIsFallingDown]

He should get the same things as he gets out of his platonic friendship with his male friends. See the girl as a platonic friend, not anything else. It's just sad.. and hurtful in my opinion.

[Opinion Owner]

@Shaun- I agree that many women expect men to be their emotional tampon if the guy declares himself a friend. I've been there and done that and I'll never let myself be that soaked tampon again lol.

[TheSkyIsFallingDown]

Mr. Almost 30 guy: Not all girls are the same and not all girls judge men the same way and thanks for almost feeling bad about this whole thing. But also thank you for giving me an honest answer. :)

[TheSkyIsFallingDown]

LOL, we do not use you as emotional tampons.. maybe some girls do.. but not me! Every girl is different... I treat guys and girls no different when it comes to plantonic friendship. If it is a guy I am dating.. that is a different story. I see people as human beings... I feel that guys don't see people the same way sometimes.. they separate.

[Opinion Owner]

Women totally separate and judge by sex, that's why so many women have an easier time being friends with guys than their fellow females. Their fellow females are in competition with them and show them no mercy or sympathy like a male that has feelings for them will.

[TheSkyIsFallingDown]

Hmm, I see your point. But like I said, not all girls are the same. We are all individuals and are very different. Not all judge and sperate.

[eithyy]

I think its perfectly possible to stay platonic friends forever. I have plenty of good guy friends who I love to death but wouldn't ever date. However, being a girl I can't really speak for them. And if its true that guys don't talk to us at all unless there's at least some sort of ulterior motive then that's just sad...makes me feel kind of like we're just a means to an end to guys. Who wants to be seen as nothing more than a living breathing sex toy? Not me.

[TheSkyIsFallingDown]

I agree. 100%!

[Anonymous]

"I have plenty of good guy friends who I love to death but wouldn't ever date" Great you just categorized those guys to sexless euneuchs in your universe. I am sure they will be thrilled to know that at least subconsciously you have issued them all a vagina. We are animals with several million years of mating instincts. It has been hammered into our DNA that we are built for propagation of the species! Platonic friends is not the optimal relation ship men want with women. Especially if they are single. To deny a male friends sexuality is insulting him at its most basic level. So if you are not dating him you had better be bringing something to the table to make it worth his time to associate with you. whether you are helping him make money in business or being a kickass wingman that will assist him in engaging women that will appreciate his male nature so they can both get their needs met.

You had better be bringing somethingto the table. If you aren't then those guy friends are wasting time and energy on you that they could be spending elsewhere You wanted the truth!.

[Anonymous]

In my life experience all the women that put an effort into being my friend were doing the same with multiple guys and trying to decide which one of us guys would be the best mate while stringing us all all out. Of course if I have no real interest in a relationship it's flattering but if I really like the woman it makes me feel like a used tool. I think women keep guys as friends as back up boyfriends without really realizing it while guys only befriend women they would feel comfortable penetrating and impregnating without necessarily realizing it. Reality is a bitch lol.

[TheSkyIsFallingDown]

Spot on! I 100% agree and it makes sense. Totally understand!

[Shaun]

Required reading for all males.

link

[TheSkyIsFallingDown]

Wow... so true. Guys CAN NOT stay platonic friends with a girl forever.. nothing sexual or romantic. Wow... and they don't invest in becoming friends and putting effort into a girl as a friend if they have no attraction towards her "secretly"... now I understand how guys and girls are different. It's just amazing.. and jaw dropping for me.