Can guys and girls really just be friends?

[Anonymous]

I’m in a committed relationship and have been the entire time of this friendship. But my guy friend sends me mixed messages with his words/behavior. Here’s. Us. Lol

-Close friends for 3 years
-He used to be touchy with me
-He said I know him better than anyone else. Because he can open up to me.
-Will drunk text me sometimes and say he “luvs me-his homie”
- Calls me homie. Bro.
-Makes suggestive comments to me sometimes (latest remark : I’ll hook up with you)
-Wants to meet up weekly to catch up
-Tells me about ALL girls he is talking to
-Shows me pics of girls he finds cute and gets my feedback

I want to keep the friendship but unsure what’s going on in his head. What do you say?

[RACSKC0B]

He's playing the long game, most guys don't have it in them to bother trying.
But all that means is he's willing to just be your friend, if that's the only way you're going to be in his life. But he's your friend, NOT your gay friend.
So don't get changed in front of him, or try to brush your teeth while he's taking a piss. If you start doing things that expose body parts that society as a whole has agreed should be covered up, he's going to take that as you want him to see stuff that not everyone else gets to see. That's when it's all going to get messy.

[Asker]

Oh? So you think he has deeper feels but buries it because he knows it won’t happen?
I guess I figured he doesn’t have deeper feels because of all the girls and details he tells me about them

And yeah lol I never put myself in those situations with him. And never plan to.

[RACSKC0B]

I'd say he does, as he says stuff that he other wise wouldn't, but only when he's intoxicated.
As for the other girls he's talking to, that's mostly an attempt to make you kinda jealous, in hopes that you'll start thinking "... what do all those girls know that I don't, humm maybe I should give it a try..."

[Asker]

I don’t see how he’s making me jealous. He tells all his friends about them. And they try to push him into others. And he wants to be in a relationship. Badly.

[RACSKC0B]

Right, he wants to be in a relationship, but he's not. Even though he's talking to chicks that he meets, and his friends hook him up with. He's still single.
Just because that's what he's doing to try to make you jealous, doesn't mean it's going to work, or that he'll notice if it doesn't.

[Asker]

Well. He just called me friend yesterday. So that’s probably a good sign he’s not into me. He said I called all my close friends homie. Haha.

[kkirk4442]

Guys and girls can have a platonic relationship. I have a couple of them. It does require that the guy not let his mind just wander wherever it will. With your friend, it sounds like he may feel more than a friendship. He may not be angling for a full blown relationship with you, but there are tones of being more than just friends.

[Asker]

Well. I hope when he tells me about girls non stop it was a heavy signal he’s NOT interested romantically. Like he will text me asking about girls lol. Also. He calls me homie and stuff.

[kkirk4442]

Asking you about girls can be an easy wedge to get you to talk to him. I'm not saying that it is, but that is the kind of tactic some guys use to be able to talk to a girl they like. Time will tell.

[Asker]

Well it’s been 3 years lol.
He drunk text me the other night asking if he should go for a girl because his friends were telling him to do it. Lol.

[kkirk4442]

If he contacts you once every three years, then only when drunk, he can't be all that interested.

[Asker]

Oh. No I see he all the time lol. I’m saying he’s been in my life 3years. I see him about once a week or sometimes once a month. But we stay in contact via text when we don’t see one another. We actually text al day yesterday because he wanted me to join this online thing.

[Anonymous]

Yeah however it can be difficult and might not work always. With some girls I am friends for years now. However I also got a crush on one of my friends. I told her about it and we distanced ourselves a little bit. Nowadays we are kind of friends again but it is somewhat weird between us...

[Opinion Owner]

It's kinda hard to guess what goes on in his head however I would just ask him !

[spartan55]

Seems like you already like him as more than a friend.

[Asker]

Huh? How so Spartan?

[joe1joey]

Have an honest open talk so that both of you know at this time how your hanging/thinking/wondering/feeling/fearing/etc,,,
As far into it an honest and personal sharing as your true friendship allows.

[Asker]

Yeah. Have someday lol. I just don’t think he’s ever tell me the truth. Ya know?

What do u think based off what I said?

[winterfox10]

I'm sure it's out there somewhere, but I definitely haven't seen it work.

[Asker]

I’m making it work! Lol.

What do you think of my situation listed under the comments?

[winterfox10]

I think you aren't really making it work. He's definitely interested in you romantically, he just respects that you are in a relationship.

[Asker]

Well. I hope when he tells me about girls non stop it was a heavy signal he’s NOT interested romantically. Like he will text me asking about girls lol. Also. He calls me homie and stuff.

[winterfox10]

Like I said; he respects the fact you are in a relationship. That doesn't mean he wouldn't date you if you gave him the chance.

[Asker]

Some say what you say- but most tell me he talks to me like a pal because I am one. Lol.
Like the guy is out dating and trying to find a girl. It’s not like he’s up my butt. And I give him tons of friendly girl advice, etc. but I guess I do often wonder if there is more on his side. Like last week he text me late at night to see if he should reach out to a girl.

Either way- he is definitely a good hider of feels.

[havingfun101]

No. Opposite sex friends are always narcissistic supply or backup spouses, often both.

[Asker]

Hmmm. Ok. Lol

What do you think of my situation listed under the comments?

[havingfun101]

I think that you're a petty and cruel person for allowing him to orbit around you; loosing self esteem all the while, like you can't tell.

[Asker]

Awww he’s not though. He is out constantly looking for women. I hope when he tells me about girls non stop it was a heavy signal he’s NOT interested romantically. Like he will text me asking about girls lol. Also. He calls me homie and stuff.

[havingfun101]

Does he even lift, sis?
Do you?
That could be cognitive dissonance on both your parts; maybe backup spouses or attractiveness signaling?

[Luckycharms12]

Very hard be friends with a girl unless font like them sexually

[Asker]

That’s what I hear. Hmmm 🧐
What do you think of my situation listed under the comments?

[Luckycharms12]

Be honest and Say how you feel

[Asker]

Oh I love him so much. He’s so fun. But I’d never BE with him romantically. Like the guy is out dating and trying to find a girl. It’s not like he’s up my butt. And I give him tons of friendly girl advice, etc. but I guess I do often wonder if there is more on his side. Like last week he text me late at night to see if he should reach out to a girl.

[Lιʅʅყ]

Can be difficult but yeah

[Asker]

What do you think of my situation listed under the comments?

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Yes.

[Asker]

Ok. Lol

What do you think of my situation listed under the comments

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Black and White. Keep it like that.

[Asker]

Oh good!!! You think it’s all buddy stuff

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Yes. What I said was referring to any and all balance. So... I’d say it’s better to have it remain that way. Dying in the ring is slow and painful... so of aren’t worthy of continuing either