Can guys and girls be just friends?

[ohhriirii]

Yes

No

[MrOracle]

The question isn't quite that simple.

If you are reasonably attractive, the vast majority of guys cannot be "just friends" with you unless their sexual needs are being met elsewhere at a level close to their ideal, OR they have to not find you attractive for some reason. A guy who has a girlfriend and a good relationship, or even a single guy who easily pulls women and has plenty of sex, could possibly be "just friends" with you. A guy who is gay or asexual could be "just friends" with you. But a straight guy, who finds you attractive, and isn't getting plenty of sex already, is almost never going to be able to be "just friends" with you.

If you think otherwise, that's because many of those guys are content to be "Friend-Zoned", where they'll act like your friend while they circle you, looking for a chink in your armor that they can exploit, and as soon as they find that chink, they're going to move in. Some guys may keep looking for YEARS, but they're hoping that you either "wake up" and see him as a good guy that you'd want to date, OR, they're hoping to "be there for you" when you are lonely or when some other guy breaks your heart or makes you insecure. Many will legitimately be wanting a relationship with you (keep in mind that, though far more men just want sex, many of those guys gave up on you LONG ago, while a much larger percentage of the guys wanting a relationship with you will stick around in your Friend Zone), but plenty will just want sex. Either way, they aren't "just friends" with you, and never were.

If you don't believe this is the case, it's simple to prove the truth to yourself. You can either offer your "friends" sex - guys who were actually "just friends" would turn you down - OR you can go the other way, and tell them that, while you like them as a friend, there's NEVER any way you could EVER date them or see them in a sexual way (i. e., kill all hope). In the first situation, the vast majority of your guy "friends" will happily take you up on your offer for sex, and in the second situation, your "friends" will start to fade out of your life - or maybe become angry with you - once you kill all hope. A guy who is legitimately "just friends" would be unfazed and would continue on - but that's rare, because guys who can be "just friends" with a girl they find attractive are rare exceptions to the rule.

[Bright_blue_eyes]

I say No. I do have mixed feelings about this one, because I have a long time friend (girl) who I respect and truly adore but only as a friend. It just didn't start out that way. Secretly, I wanted to date her, but it never happened.

Next: When a girl under 30 just wants to be friends... It's bullshit. Single, strait guys in their 20 & 30 don't want platonic girl friends. Sorry. Just being honest here. It's pointless for us. We want to date women. We don't need friendship without the possibility of dating. We'll keep you around just in case the friendship could turn into dating, but the hard reality about "friendship" is most strait guys don't want or need the type of platonic friendship that girls have to offer.

Also, my apology for the gross generalizations in my opinion. I should say; "most but not all". These days men seem lost, so I don't doubt you could find a guy who just wants to be friends. If you do, that guy is not in a good place (figuratively speaking).

[weeee]

I can see women as people with their individual characteristics and just like them. If someone is nice to be around ill be their friend. Just because im straight doesn't mean i constantly want to fuck women.

I mean gay guys have platonic guy friends. Lesbian girls have their platonic girl friends. Why not striaght people?

[IveGotNoName]

I've seen this question many times, and the thing is, that as long as some people think the answer is no, then the question cannot truly be answered.

If, say 30% of men and women think that men and women cannot be friends. Then we can calculate the probability of two people, who think that women and men CAN just be friends, becoming friends, which is about 0.7×0.7=49%. This is a little under half of the cases where two people meet.

Then we'd also have to take gay people and lesbians into account, but let's say the question was only aimed at straight men and women.

[-Asca-]

Actually as long as some people think the answer is yes, the question can be answered with yes. No one claims that they are always gonna be just friends in 100% of cases.

[IveGotNoName]

@-Asca- That is true... but this is assuming people are as stubborn as me xD

[designer1]

It depends on the situation and the people involved honestly. Some girls can’t be just friends with guys and vice versa. Whatever the situation though, it is never a good idea for a guy and a girl to be in a room alone together if they both have separate relationships of their own.

[designer1]

*or one of them has a separate relationship.

[coachTanthony]

-----------------Yes of course. Guys don't have feelings and attraction for every woman on the planet. And even if the woman who is a friend is attractive it doesn't mean we automatically want to sleep with them or date them. Steve Harvey really had it wrong on this one. It's quite ridiculous.

~Coach T Anthony @thedatecoach IG

[Account]

I have two male close friends. One of them I made when I was 17, the other when I was 19.

[Lliam]

Sure, especially of both people are married to someone else. I am good friends with some couples. The wives and I get along great.

Single guys and gals can be friends, too, especially if there is no sexual attraction between them. I have some good female friends that are either older or are in no way sexy.

I have to say, though, I've had a few experiences with female friends I wasn't attracted to, for example a coworker or fellow musician. Sexual tension can develop sometimes. If neither one has a current partner, and one or the other person is horny, they might flirt in an effort to get some sexual engagement. The girl might have a craving to suck his dick or get fucked. He might wish that she would suck his dick or ride him or let him bend her over for a quicky. It can be a spur of the moment desire for sexual gratification. It doesn't have to lovey dovey or kissy. l would just be for a bit of fun, and not with any intention of getting into more of a relationship other than just friendship. If two people have adult attitudes, it doesn't have to be a big thing.

[ToastyOats]

No and no woman should expect it. The reasons people form friendships are for all the same reasons our ancestors formed tribes and nations; security, economic and intellectual rapport. Men do not need women for any of these. Men need to be looking at their own internal masculine culture as a solution to their problems instead of listening to women who want to integrate into it. Women need to give space for men to do this and stop being parasites upon the various indigenous male cultures of the world. The only reason men believe they need women for anything other than romance and children is because masculine culture has been forced to compromise with female culture within its own spaces and institutions. Women let me be clear, you add nothing to political, scientific, or moral discussions of any nation that a man could not do better. We need a return to the harsher moral codes of warrior societies; all the laxness imposed by weak willed women and the foreign men using them to subvert our traditional cultures is leading to a cultural extinction that will culminate in a dark age. All the death and destruction loosed by this collapse in discipline will be far greater than what women seek to avoid by undermining our traditions.

[Ayanna240]

There are female politicians as there are female lawyers , female doctors. Hilary Clinton Ans Kamala Harris surely add more to this world than you

[weeee]

little timmy befriended greg for security, economic and intellectual rapport. Not because they like to play fortnite after school

[ToastyOats]

@Ayanna240 exactly! I dont need doctors, lawyers, definitely not corrupt career politicians. I studied medicine myself. Make my antibiotics from herbs, fermentation adjust my own back. I've studied philosophy and history, I have an advanced moral framework I've inherited and developed from generations of men. Dont need Hillary at all! If the courts were not corrupt, Im smart enough to form my own defense, investigate with other men in community any crimes and collaborate with them on a just settlement, just like my ancestors have for thousands of years. I fully support women doing these things and forming their own exclusive feminine culture, I just need them for anything but as mate and mother.

[Ayanna240]

@ToastyOats herbs don't work like modern medicine.

[ToastyOats]

@Ayanna240 Biochemistry is far more advanced than our synthetic chemistry. Any product you can think from concrete to paint, alcohol or bleach nylon or plastics. NATURE does it BETTER! So in a way your right.

[Ayanna240]

@ToastyOats there's no biochemistry involved in picking herbs off of plants. If you had a heart attack , will eating herbs cure you? how about a stroke?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I think so I had a couple of guy friends when I was in elementary and in middle school. But as I got older like high school most of the time when I tried to be friends with a guy he would usually get the wrong impression or sometimes not take no for an answer when I told him I didn't like him romantically. I think I just ran into some immature guys during that time, but even so I still think it's totally fine for a girl and a guy to be just friends I mean yea a relationship can happen in that friendship if the guy and girl are both attracted to each other but other times it won't and that's fine too.

[hellacray]

That's definitely a no for me.

All my friends that I actually talk to and hang out with has always been men. I just don't share much in common with women.

I don't like spending tons of money on shopping or vacations. And we don't share the same interests. Besides with women being so easily triggered these days you can't really be yourself.

You need to watch what you say when you're around women. With men you can kind of let loose and just talk about whatever without anyone being offended.

[DJB72]

Of course. Three of my closest friends are girls. I've known one of them nearly 30 years and there's never been any sense for either of us to want to be anything else.

It's a pretty pathetic guy who has to think he's too irresistible to "just" be friends with a girl or vice versa.

[xxxdirtyfrankxxx]

In HS a lot of people thought I was gay because I always hung out with girls. I just dont get along with guys well. Guys often get into competition with me, esp the ones trying to be extra "alpha" for no reason. For that reason I had mostly female friends...

Now, did I party with them and end up fucking some of them. YOU BET lmao... sometimes its hard to be around somebody all the time without some form of attraction.

[Qdbrown]

For a real man, no. He can be friendly. But not a solid long duration friend. It would get to where it would be time at somepoint.

As for this new generations, many come from single moms and strong feminist mothers. They know how to not be so manly. They can curtail feelings and treat women above them not to offend or upset them.

[mobiusforniner]

No. This question appears on here often. Maybe casual acquaintance, but never close friends. Because naturally friendship involves trust. Women dont keep guys close to them whom they dont trust. And men dont help or care about women whom they dont love. And when those feelings are realized and reciprocated, it is not a friendship.

[Countrymama92]

Okay valid points but what if the friendship was close because they both considered each other family? If the bond was built on supporting each other at a time when most people would walk away, say during a devasting break up or when depression has them at their lowest, then that's when the trust is built. Not by one but by both. You can love someone and it not be romantic. There always will be the love of a family bond between people, regardless of their gender.

[mobiusforniner]

@Countrymama92 I have approached numerous female friendships with the familial ideal as you describe but it simply does not happen. I've found my friends get very jealous when I started dating someone and they curiously disappeared from my life shortly afterward. And even now, I realize the marriage boundary alone doesn't otherwise prevent my female friends from developing some kind of attachment. I think inherently both parties, yes, myself included, begin imagining what life would be like if we were together. And those emotions strengthen with trust as a foundation. So therefore I believe it to be impossible.

[Floppy2112]

Yes, but you at some point have to have 'the talk'. You cannot be friends without some sexual tension most of the time. But if you address it and agree on boundaries, I don't see it being a problem. Just don't pretend the tension isn't there, thats the big mistake.

[Medhat-M]

Girls can cuz they're ok not involving but enjoying the attention and feeling wanted... Guys on other hand.. they're gonna break sooner or later and go for it and if it doesn't work out everything is over. .. Also, friends from the opposite gender are usually with a purpose... A backup, an ego boost... Etc... So overall, 9 out 10 times, it's not gonna work

[Xylem1992]

No. Fact of matter is just friends is usually bullshit. Usually either turns into friends with benefits or a full blown relationship. Sometimes though it does happen. When there is no attraction, or when there is attraction but the girl says no.

So to sum up: It is bullshit. When it happens its the exception not the rule

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes. If neither one of them is attracted to the other.
(Warning, though: women are usually attracted emotionally as opposed to physically. So there is a very real danger of the girl developing feelings later on, while the guy's feelings will not change.)

[JustMeh1234]

This is not always the case. The opposite has happened to me, my friends develop feelings after a while and I don't.

[Jamie05rhs]

I don't think that's true. I think they were attracted to you all along. If they weren't interested in you at first, it's only because they were interested in someone else at that particular moment.

[Jamie05rhs]

@JustMeh1234

[JustMeh1234]

Whatever what i mean is i was never interested in them. You dont have the universal true you know? Anyway since i see you won't accept a different opinion. Bye i hace people who think they are right and everybody else think like them

[JustMeh1234]

Not just because you think that way ecerybody else does the same ok get out of that bubble

[Jamie05rhs]

@JustMeh1234 Sorry; I didn't mean to offend you. I was just sharing my thoughts; that's all.

[MEDWOLF]

All GUYS WANT YOU ALL THE TIME FROM 15-25 99% ARE ONLY YOUR FRIEND TRYING TO GET WITH YOU.
UNLESS YOU WENT TO GRADE SCHOOL TOGETHER OR THEY ARE GAYTHE ONKY REASON YOUR GETTING ATTENTION IS THEY WANT TO GET YOUR ATTENTION.
THE GUYS THAT ASS WEASEL THIS INTO PLAY ARE LEGIT FUC. GARBAG. BOI RUN RUN RUN NO DUDE WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND BECAUSE YOU HAVE A CONNECTION B. S. DONT BELIVE IT.
I RAN GAME WAS A FUCKBOI IN H. S. AND COLLEGE DIDN'T REALIZE IT THEN

[weeee]

Weird as fuck people saying a woman and man cannot be just friends. In a way aren't siblings and cousins just blood related friends? Do y'all wanna fuck your sisters too now?

[friendzoned4life]

Yes it is possible but they have to meet at work or at a sport and there has to be 0,000000000000% of interest in eachother on a sexual level so actually any time the guy is the first person to look for contact he is actually interested in more then friendship then it is not possible

[Countrymama92]

I voted yes. My best friend is a guy and it's been strictly platonic since we met. We've been friends well over 12 years. He's always been there for me and I for him. He's been the best friend I've ever had, and I have friends of both genders. Honestly I think it's not a matter of gender. Just a matter of personality compatibility.

[Bright_blue_eyes]

I have a Female "best friend" too, but... If I were completely honest about it, I would have to say the "friendship" started because I really liked her & I wanted to date her.

[Rei02]

Of course, the problem is that the media has put often the idea that it can't be, that it is either being boyfriend/girlfriend or nothing, or that sooner or later, those friendships become love relationships.

[JoeyRock]

Yes, Absolutely. 100%

The problem is that some people just don't accept it. For crying out loud.

80% of my social circle is female. And never once I thought about anything more than being friends with any of them.