How often do you listen to your best friend?

[Tuna陶拿恆]

How often do you listen to your considered best friend? Do you make her/his suggestions on all aspects of your life? How frequently you let her/him stick her/his nose to your friendships/relationships? Do you completely trust her/him to make changes in your life? I wondered because I’ve seen someone experiencing it. Her relationship ended with a guy because her best friend gave her anxiety over that guy. Her best friend's relationship life was pretty bad with guys; her best friends way of perspective with males weren't the same with her. Her best friend questioned her mind over not trusting him, and their relationship ended at last. I suspected that she wasn't happy with her getting happy and became jealous. Maybe she was narcissistic and let her be available only to her. I’ve seen this myself and got some more info through my connections, which was my conclusion. I didn't want to snitch; she wouldn't believe it anyway. Now let's back to our question. At first, I was going to ask only girls, but I want to hear guys opinion too. Write your answers reason furthermore if possible.

[btbc92]

"How often do you listen to your considered best friend?" Always. They wouldn't be my friends if I didn't. Listening is a key part of relationships of any kind.

"Do you make her/his suggestions on all aspects of your life?" It depends on what it is. But it, but we at least take about it with each other.

"How frequently you let her/him stick her/his nose to your friendships/relationships?" HUH? Nobody ever sticks their nose in anyone's busy. It is your choice to share depending on how close you are. But people naturally don't get into other's business. If they do, make sure it is for good reasons. Otherwise, you may not have a healthy-minded person for a friend.

"Do you completely trust her/him to make changes in your life?" Wait, what? That is nobody else's job but yours. And that is between you and God. Not another human being. If you can't be independent as an adult, you need your parents, not friends.

" I wondered because I’ve seen someone experiencing it. Her relationship ended with a guy because her best friend gave her anxiety over that guy. Her best friend's relationship life was pretty bad with guys; her best friends way of perspective with males weren't the same with her. Her best friend questioned her mind over not trusting him, and their relationship ended at last. I suspected that she wasn't happy with her getting happy and became jealous. Maybe she was narcissistic and let her be available only to her" First let me ask you something. Do you know both of these women personally and are they your friends? If not, it's best you don't speculate. It depends on who you are referring to. What I had to tell one of my friends who had for me to help with those decisions was this:

[btbc92]

1. If I give my assessment about a guy, it is my assessment of what I sense, feel and see. And if God is telling me about the person my friend cannot see, I at least tell them the truth. I struggle with men myself, but I know why. A lot of men are only interested in mostly sex. And my friend, while interested in sex, got used and abused by men I told her not to date or get involved. Many of them were also not CHRISTIAN. She wanted to get married, and have kids. Many of them did not and wanted to change her mind. Influenced in ways that went against what even she personally believed in due to desperation for a guy and young marriage and to be a wife. I only say and did what I said because I love them and want to see them achieve what they desire. Most of them did not want that.

2. No. Her relationship ended because sadly the person cannot make their own decisions and shouldn't be dating if they cannot trust who they are with. They are struggling with self-esteem. The problem is was this guy right for her to begin with? If she was stable as a person, nothing would have to influence her. I always respected my friend's decisions even if I didn't agree. At the end of the day, they're adults. All I say is please no more if it's going to be toxic and with drama. Such relationships you have to understand tend to be toxic and they come to tell the friend about such toxicity that again, they got into.

[btbc92]

3. What is her perspective on males? You never went into details.
4. If she questioned her mind, probably for good reasons. A person who can easily be like that needs time on their own to form their own opinions and be smart. Most around your age are fickle and aren't ready for serious dating. Most guys aren't serious either. And it kept me from bothering with guys on that level except for friendships.
5. A jealous friend wouldn't do that. Jealous friends sabotage the relationship by getting involve and interfering. This is not interference. This is welcoming. If the girl wants the friend to help with the decision-making. There is nothing wrong with that. But it is the girl who decides to give that control. What a person does with it depends on their intent. I would NEVER and have always told my friends I am not controlling their decisions. They have to make it themselves. I cannot be responsible for what they chose to do. I can only ADVISE. NOTHING MORE.
6. Did the guy try to get her back, try to speak to her? Find out what went wrong? Try to communicate to the friend? I find it odd that for somebody not trustworthy to not at least try to talk to the person who wants to love the girl. If he never bothered, it sounds like the friend may have a point. A lot of bitter men out there never like it when a woman especially has a support system to look out for their friends. If a family can't help the next are friends.

[btbc92]

I say it like this. Unless this girl has so much low self-esteem she lets anybody control her as some people like to be controlled, she may just trust her friend's judgment which I think is not a bad thing. The INTENT however maybe. However, as long as there is a balance between friendship and dating, there shouldn't be any jealousy. I have a problem with men on a certain level because they don't respect you if your a Christian and have Godly and Christian values. It's even harder to find a Godly man who shares the same values and not a "Christian" by the label. Men are interested in us for sex. Period. If men have good intent and develop healthy relationships with women, which sadly only very FEW DO, many of women would not have trust issues.

Again, I cannot say for certain who the person is. But as a woman, I know wholeheartedly of the damage down to me as a young woman growing up. My friends never understood that until they themselves have experienced it. Put it like this. If you have good intent, nobody in their right mind would assume bad about you. You would at least try to befriend their friends, be friendly and try to gain that friend's trust. If you don't, then yeah. Can you blame them for being protective over their friend? Your only interested in their friend for one reason only: sex. If that girl wants more, she will still get hurt. A good man or even a good woman wouldn't give others a reason to hate or dislike them. I never said I hated those guys. But that they weren't for her. But again, it' was her choice, and it was their choice. But nobody has to control anybody.

[btbc92]

Talk about it*

[Tuna陶拿恆]

Yes I know three of them and are my friends. Thank you for the great answer :)

[Espresso-Grande]

I rarely ask anyone for advice. Friends generally come to me for advice. I prefer to find my own solution to a problem/issue.

I know myself more than anyone knows me, so I'm better at judging what decisions and choices I should make in my life. I'll take on board any advice people offer, but in the end , I do what I believe is best to do in any given situation or dilemma

[Espresso-Grande]

Thanks for the MHO

[Anonymous]

I have had three best friends before and all of them ended up leaving me (or ill say I was the one who confronted them first) because they literally controlled my life, telling me what to do, what not to do.
Last to last year in my freshman year, i got a new best friend and she's amazing. She respects my decisions and only advises or gives suggestions when she thinks she needs to. She does it because she cares about me. And this is my first ever friendship with someone where we are both completely equal. So i feel i don't NEED to let her tell me something or not. She knows what she's doing :))

[lsjr16]

I listen all the time. I listen when she complain about her boyfriend, family, being in late 20s and being depressed.

[InferiorElegy]

I don't have any friends so I guess I don't listen to them.

[Iron_Man]

I listen to my brother