My boyfriend won’t stick up for me, even though his family are in the wrong. I’m so hurt, what do I do?

From Oct to Dec 2021 my bf’s mum ‘MIL’ would undermine me, gaslight me and say inappropriate things to me when her son (M26) when he wasn’t in the room. This was often along the lines of “that’s just how he is, you need to be less sensitive”, “you need to take a joke”, “your mum is so toxic”, “his female best friend is so great, you should be like her”, “you should be like his sisters”. She is also a chronic liar, a gossip.

I stayed at their house one weekend in Dec. I didn’t want to go because of my rapidly declining mental health, but boyfriend and MIL insisted. When I got there, MIL made snide comments for three days, MIL didn’t change the bedsheets so I slept on dirty bedding belonging to her daughter and son in law…, she went through my suitcase (left the zip open when I always close it), tried turning me against my own mum. My sister in law (F25) also turned around and said “you’re not invited to my baby’s gender reveal, you’re not family”.

I’d had enough abuse for three months and when I returned home I told my mum.

At this point, I had stopped eating, lost 9kg of weight in 2 weeks and was crying all day every day because I felt so lost. I broke up with him in order to stay alive and regain sanity.

A few months later - he got in touch, finally listened to what I’d been through, said he understood what was happening was bad and said he’d fight for us. He didn’t. His sister found out we are talking, called a family summit and they all told him “no you can’t be with her”, amongst many other things which he won’t tell me. They all think they did nothing wrong. They think my mother and I are the problem.

He’s submitted to what they want, saying they’re not civil, it’ll be too hard, that they’re too toxic and “I’m too tired” and “ugh this is just my life, this always happens”. I feel like I’m the only one that sees this as his choice to give up and throw me out.
My boyfriend won’t stick up for me, even though his family are in the wrong. I’m so hurt, what do I do?
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