Would you confront someone who was passive aggressive to you?

[musicloverr8]

My scenario is this: So I have always had a bit of a rocky relationship with my sister. In the past few months, I drove 5 hours to visit her which is also expensive. Both times, I felt she was passive aggressive towards me (not the whole time, but there was those moments) and I did not feel comfortable as a guest. I wanted to tell her, just say it to my face if you have beef with me. Do you think I should just sweep it under the rug or confront her?

Yes, I would confront that person.

No, I would not confront that person.

[kyleelyn199723]

A valid talk in person could always go right. What you need to do is really think about what you want to say, and make sure it’s not something that can ruin you two forever, but more so a talk that will release any tension between you two

[musicloverr8]

she has beef with me for a lot of reasons but I just want to tell her in the sense that being passive aggressive is not the way to treat your guests... like if she has an issue with me she should say it to my face.

[kyleelyn199723]

I agree but being aggressive towards the situation may disadvantage you in the end. I’m sure your goal here is to feel wanted by your sister. I mean I have a sister and ultimately that’s always my goal for us

[musicloverr8]

I'm not sure what the end goal is. Honestly, I could do without her. I have a lot of resentment towards her. and her trying to be 'nice' by inviting me to visit just seems fake when she is then passive aggressive towards me

[kyleelyn199723]

I mean you drive 5 hours for her, so maybe you feel that you don’t need her right now, but there’s a reason why you are driving 5 hours away for her.

[musicloverr8]

Yeah its mostly for my mom. because we went to her baby shower and I felt bad not going. But she has beef with me because when she got married I didn't go to the bar with her girlfriends (I dont really drink) I didn't go with them to get my manicure done (was saving money) and I didn't go to the get ready room before the wedding with them mainly because i had to dye my hair but also because I dont really like her friends. and I also said I wouldn't go to her bridal shower if my step mother was there (I used to have a big beef with her) and my mom wasn't invited which offended me. but anyways, that is some of the beef she has with me. Also, my sis had an abortion which I resented her for. Also, last year during the pandemic she was going to parties without masks and she was pregnant and I told her she shouldn't do that and she is discrediting her education & career since she works in public health. apparently she doesn't have common sense. But ya thats why she's passive aggressive towards me

[kyleelyn199723]

I think both of you need to realize you both have your reasons for everything , but you need to discuss and come to conclusions. Her personal decisions in life shouldn’t make you resent her as you choosing not to go to her bridal things is your decision. Sounds like a huge talk both of you need to have. If you can’t make amends, go separate ways

[Kaneki05]

No but i wouldn't care in the first place. Passive aggressive i can just ignore honestly they would probably get bored at trying to be so.

[musicloverr8]

ya I agree it is boring like, just say it to my face?

[Browneye57]

I would not drive twenty minutes for that. This is on you.

[loveslongnails]

She's you sister, so there's no reason to play games with her. Just say " stop your p/a bullshit and tell me what's on your mind and let's deal with it. I didn't drive 5 hours to spend time like this. I don't like it or want. I want to enjoy my time with you, and I can't if you keep doing this. So... what's on your mind, sister?"

[splashmustache]

I'll talk if she/he admits her mistake and apologizes.

[SuccessfulHornDog]

Yes, I would confront that person.

[musicloverr8]

what if confrontation damages that relationship? Do you have this with a sibling at all

[SuccessfulHornDog]

I feel that my relationship can withstand it but if it can't then I am prepared to live with that as well