What is some of the most hilariously atrocious advice you gave or received from someone?

[Dude_777]

It can be on GAG or real life, on any particular matter.

[NathanDavis]

Basically, growing up, since I turned age 10 or so (and into my early 20's)... a lot of adults advised me to study and to become first... a politician, to run for some office, and also an attorney... as well as a financial/economist "mind"

I got all kinds of invitations, incentives, scholarships and offers to programs and what not. This happened on both sides of my life, Mexico and Texas... there are certain "groups" of people that do a lot of this, want to shape and mold young mind into their ideals and their goals. A couple of them really tried to get me into it. But I just didn't want any of it.

They'll give you "power and influence, success, any and all opportunity you need and want" but, they will take your soul, so no, I never wanted any of that.

Their advice, counsel and mentorships could be exactly what you said, atrocious... not exactly illegal, just atrociously inconsiderate, manipulating and inclined to take advantage of both the system and the people.

[pjf1958]

I was walking to state bros. Supermarket in San Bernardino Ca. In may of 2020. There were a group of young men entering the store right behind me. The last one that came through the entrance had a T-shirt that read Jesus is a hermaphrodite. I gave a look of incredulity, and tried not to laugh as I said; "Really, what did you do? Look up his skirt"? We exchanged harmless insults for about a minute. Then, he started picking on my mom. At that point I said, "Why don't you go f#$$ yourself". Since you've already got the hardware, you elevate that term to a whole new level. At that point security came in, and kicked us both out.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

"You should have so many children with your white boyfriend. Look, I have 9 with mine!"

... Auntie you have 11 kids. Did you forget about the twins?

An "auntie" from my Filipino family. I am and have always been childfree.

The reason for kids? "They're pretty."

Yes, mixed blood kids are typically pretty (in my opinion), but that is a TERRIBLE reason to have them. Have them because you want them, and NO THEY ARE NOT POKEMON. You DO NOT have to "have 'em all".

Dear god.

[SaoirseS]

Advice I gave to the family of a Korean War veteran who were bickering over whether to cremate or bury him. Since they couldn’t decide, I suggested they could do both. Cremate him, then put his uniform and web gear in the casket. That way they could have a flag-draped casket for the service and for military honors at the cemetery. I ended up pouring his cremains into the canteens on his old web gear, so they were buried along with him.

[SaoirseS]

Thanks for MHO 😀

[Lliam]

As a young teen, a friend and I were at my house when no one else was home. We thought we'd try to find out what it felt like to get drunk. We didn't know much about booze and didn't realize that it only took a couple of shots to get a buzz.
I didn't want my parents to notice that there was anything missing from any of the bottles in the cabinet. So I had the bright idea of pouring a bit from a variety of bottles into a glass.
Anyway, I built a "suicide" concoction in a tall glass and we tried drinking it. It tasted AWFUL! We did manage to force some down, but felt kind of sick afterwards. It wasn't fun. LOL

There were lots of times when my friends and I would egg each other to do crazy shit like skateboarding down steep hills, hanging onto the door handle of a car while on a bike, free climbing large rocks or steep cliffs, ...

[MCheetah]

"You really CAN do whatever you want!" - Korean McDonalds

"A man's job is to keep a woman happy. A woman's job is to be happy and get what they want." - Females I knew

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." - Anonymous
The problem is, lemons aren't that bad. Life usually gives you sh*t, instead. What am I supposed to make from that? Sh! tade?

[Wiredone]

@mcheetah you make brownies with it.

[serious]

I am not old enough to give advice as I don't have any real life experiences, whatever I have is only knowledge in combination with my observations and my own logic of seeing things.

Instead of using the term advice I would rather say I give suggestions to people but when they ask me for it.

No I have never given any inappropriate suggestion or opinion to anyone.

[hellionthesagereborn]

"just ignore them". Stupidest advice ever, "Just ignore the people bullying you and eventually they might get tired of insulting you and pushing you around and move on to some one else.". Thats telling a kid that they should be a victim for their entire life. Fucking stupidest thing I've ever heard and yet its still "advice" given to kids to this day.

[Pyrofox]

"If guys are giving you money to see your tits, they are valuing the image and not actually you the woman who has them. If you believe otherwise there is probably a reason every relationship you have seems like a never ending 360 degree door that never seems to stay shut." My advice I gave to a friends sister who had massive trouble keeping guys who wouldn't just pump and dump. Probably the wiset thing you could tell a girl who is selling their body on social media sites. TBH.

[Massageman]

When I was a kid, people said "when you grow up, you can do it YOUR way". (whatever I was doing that wasn't the way they wanted it done).

As an adult, then, I wasn't prepared since I seldom get to do things just the way I want to do them. :- )

[electromagnetic]

I used to wear extensions when I was 19 and over time I formed a massive bald patch. One day I was venting about it to my sister and she said: “just grow new hair”

Stupidest advice but it worked.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

A guy on here told me I shouldn't of turned down a co-worker cuz I'm getting older, less men will want me and I'm heading into spinsterville😂😂 but if I was married 20 years, now widowed with two kids and a grandchild, how am I a spinster🤔

[karaspara]

Told someone to resolve there problems over a bottle of vodka trouble inevitably followed afterwards

[Alyssa11]

Advice I received once was 'all men cheat, so stay with your boyfriend because at least you know he cheats but he loves you'. Idiot...

[Pinay_ako]

I just got diagnosed by someone here as having eating disorder or obsessive disorder and be careful with my words. And I didn’t even ask for her opinion. Yet she keeps talking to me

Get out!

[liberalsrule420]

I have one, you don’t…. I saw her earlier on here… total wacko

[Anon621]

I have never purposely given anybody hilariously atrocious advice before. I've given sarcastic advice before but then I usually signify to the other person that I'm joking around.

[ThoughtfulSoul]

"And so what if they throw eggs at you? You can always collect them and make an omlette for breakfast"
~7 year-old me trying to motivate a friend before his performance🤦🏻‍♀️

[soulbabe]

Don't get bullied be the bullie. Given to me by a bulle who learned she couldn't beat me so she tried to make me join her. She was pissed because she couldn't take me trick me or convert me

[Wiredone]

When I was a kid I was told if I didn't eat all my veggies I wouldn't grow up and be like Popeye. Well, I ate all my damn vegetables and I'm not like friggin Popeye. They forgot to mention that you have to work out too. Damn parents 😂🤣

[MCheetah]

I ate all my vegetables AND drank all my milk AND worked out as a school athlete, and I not only didn't end up like Popeye or in great shape, but I'm not even tall! Awful advice, indeed!

[Anonymous]

It was a joke but a guy was telling me what I should do the first time fucking someone from behind.
So what you is right before you cum is you spit on her back. She'll turn around and you cum on her face and then punch her in the nose so she bleeds. Then jump around yelling "berries and cream".
Suffice to say I have never done this and never will.

[MORPHEUS_12]

I have been told I will regret not having yard apes one day. So far it's been the smartest think my husband have done by not creating a tax deduction.

[OlderAndWiser]

I was told to just forget about her, as if I can hit ctrl-alt-delete and that will erase the memories.

[hahahmm]

Oh, all the times women told me to be nice/kiss up to someone who was being a total a-hole.

[Mofunfour20]

A woman disrespected me and it was only right to say "eat a dick" in reply

[Interstate]

To get out there and meet somebody. T. G I never listened to them.

[JosyJosy]

"To get out of a depression. Start drinking." With a dead serious face. But it was more to make me laugh. Good friend of mine

[menina]

"You should be like us" - given by my 7th grade bullies.

[Heckpupper]

I was told that you treat a girl like shit to get her to like you. I didn't test it.

Strange how the person that suggested that is on his 16th+ relationship 🤔

[MCheetah]

Still better than zero! 🤣

[Anonymous]

"yea dude you can totally fit that cucumber inside your anus"

[DonkeyDan]

I take it you couldn't 😂😂😂

[AdithyaR]

Someone here once told me I'm wasting my 20s cause I don't ask people out, flirt or date.😂

[es20490446e]

"Going to the gym can also be an addiction (so I don't go to the gym)"

[Anonymous]

That I should just shut up and listen to my dad because he was older and so he was right 🙄

[ThatNoUVAtYourEyes]

You find someone better. Do not. Leave it for later. Wait. Patience is a virtue.

[LavenderLuna]

“Have social anxiety? Just talk to people!” lol

[DonkeyDan]

Girls love it when you cum in their hair 😂😂

[forthright]

I'm not the type to give bad advice.

[forthright]

And I can't specifically remember when I received bad advice. I just know it has happened.

[ItsTheNephilim]

To get a girl, get her friend first ~_~.

[Gwenhwyfar]

“Rang onsum latmun sookles”

[humanearth]

I'll have to think about that. Give me a hr

[Browneye57]

Don't argue with your wife... dicker. :)

[PurpleDrank69]

“Get the vaxx goy”
-my local rabbi

[Joker_]

I have never gave or received advice

[BlacklightShade]

smile more

[Fuentes]

Nothing

[Diya010]

None.

[Samael2021]

"Man up!"