My mom will go threw my journal and sketchbook when I’m not looking, I hate it. Those are supposed to be my personal things and she just goes threw it and ruins it.
If I have anything in them that she doesn’t like than she rips the pages out or ruins my art/writing by writing all over it.
Recently she went threw my sketchbook and got mad because of something I drew. This isn’t the first time she’s went threw my stuff without asking and I don’t like it.
I can’t even lock my door to prevent it because my room doesn’t have one
She says because I’m a kid I have no right to privacy?
Is it ok for parents to go through their kids personal stuff?
I don't know what your mom's logic is and I would just love to get off on her right now because she's so totally wrong on so many different levels
So if she thinks that when you have a problem in life you're going to come to her there is no trust there because you don't know what she'll do that's the big number one
Then she's teaching you it's okay to go through people's personal business business and belongings because she's in charge she didn't charge him nothing not even herself
And when she ruined your property it messes up your artwork best destruction of property add sue her for it
She's teaching you this okay to destroy people's property when you get angry at them or just because you want to because you have the power to
She's also teach you how to become a control freak and then think that you know everything just because you can do that if you have that excuse
Teaching you how to disrespect everybody
Then she's teaching you that when you want something you're going to have to hide it from her if you want to keep it she's also teaching you that you have to lie into a big lie so she's teaching you in a lie because you're not allowed to be yourself you're not allowed to use your mind and grow expand experience she wants to keep you in a box are you going to be her little me
And saying all the above that's just me and my opinion and I would raise you that way but you're not my child I'd want you to grow be confident I wouldn't discipline you that way I wouldn't put you on restriction that way I wouldn't hold you back I'm kind of pisses me off because for your age you are one of the smartest good kids. I love reading your answers in your questions I love you out thanks on it even though I don't agree with with some of them but that's neither here nor there whether it's right or wrong or indifferent who cares you put the effort into it to say how you feel to see it say it out loud how you see it and that's what you're doing in your journal and your mom is taking that away from you. Don't get me wrong I'm not bad-mouthing your mom whatsoever she has her way I have common sense and logic and I've watched mini kids go down different paths because of the way their parents treat them I don't know I hope one day you can sit down and have a chat with your mom and explain to her when she does that with that does to you I think you're cool
She is interfering far too much , she is threating you like an idiot , so what kind of child does she want to raise? This is just really really poor parenting and she is not expressing adequate reasons for her actions , not enough Im afraid.
Tell her that some things a private , and art is expression , if you wishes to carry on with these horrendous actions , tell her you would be leaving as soon as you can , within 3 years. If she wishes however to discuss things as an adult , and speak to you as an adult , then you are happy to discuss some personal issues with her , however if she carries on like this , all she will ever achieve is to push her daughter away for LIFE. Book a meeting with her , try not to yell and scream , express all these points succinctly , and straight to her face. You can agree on an action plan ( both ) and then meet again in less confrontational circumstances , at this point she's a poor mother. That needs to change , we all need privacy , no matter our age.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
She is in the wrong. On one hand, its her home, she pays the bills, an you're the kid, so if she wants to enter the room check for condoms, drugs, or a journal to see what you're up to, she has the right... but, i feel this. If she has to do that to you... that says to me, that you an her do not have a close good relationship... cause a mother who has that with her kid... would know, we're close, she will come to me with the things she should, there is no need for me to invade her privacy like that. So as far as your personal privacy... and how a mom should be... yes she is wrong. I had a step mom who's go through my stuff, even not put it all back, she didn't care to have me know she did it... was her way of saying, i can do this, i have no respect for you. Had she been smart, she should have put it all back as it was, then id not know, then she could continue to come in an snoop... but thats how disrespectful to me she was, she didn't care. She even took my things like pictures of just my mom. You need to say to her kindly, imagine your mom did this to you? imagine someone coming in your room doing this to you? how would you feel? mom i want us to have the kind of relationship... closeness, to where you dont feel the need to do this to me... again, on one hand she has the right to enter that room... and to know what you're up to, how you are mentally an all... but her way of doing it is totally wrong... she needs to understand that, show her my comment if you have to... but yeah, she is in the wrong... as far as respecting you as a person, your privacy... thats not how a parent should be. And you need a lock... for getting dressed... and for other reasons... she should understand that... if not, just hang in there, an look to the day you can be on your own, an have privacy. sorry.
No. When I was your age, she was ripping my pants. A woman should wear skirts she said. When a girl looks like a man that's Satan's job. That was her claim. I vividly remember, I had a red short my father gave it to me when he was alive. It was the most valuable thing in my life. She dumped it when I wasn't around. I cried for days.
Never let me go to school, live alone, or date anyone. Now, she wears pants, talks with guys, and wears hats. Time is change.
I am having struggles because of her. I always wonder how high school life looks like? My mother took those from me. Some of them I can take back like wearing skirts (I hate them for a long time ) or fixing my carieer. But I believe life took so much more from her too. Her life wasn't easy then, she wishes not to listen to her religious friends now. That's enough, everyone makes mistakes.
She is just afraid. You are turning someone else and she wants to control it. When a family gets a child, labels it as a child. When you start to grow you wanna be an adult but that's not what they wanna see. Even when you are 30 they see you as a child. And want to advise you about the road they choose.
But there is a line between showing the road or choosing the road. For you, just draw a line in your heart. Things your family can touch and not. It is simple. Even you can't say anything, knowing which things they can't touch makes you secure. Also read self-help books at least once every three months. She will break things inside you and you should fix them. Otherwise, you'll stick to her life. You'll become her.
Remember, all of those things and if you wanna talk about it we are always here.
In my teens I had a similar problem. I am the oldest of 3 sons. The youngest became the favored 'daughter' my mother could not conceive and could do NO wrong no matter how egregious. The little prick would raid my bedroom and take whatever he chose w/o consequences.
When I turned 16 and began to work outside the home, I was expected to contribute financially; accordingly I replaced the typical in home doorknob with an external keyed DEADBOLT lock. It was a simple matter and a direct replacement for the doorknob requiring nothing more than a Philips head screwdriver.. In effect I became a tenant.
BOTH the snooping and raiding ceased, especially when I took a position as an armed security officer, as the weapon had to be kept secured in the home. Accordingly, periodic 'surprise' landlord/parent inspections for contraband such as illicit drugs and alcohol were of course permissible.
Being a reasonably-competent graphic artist, personal erotica was never an issue. Fantasy is JUST that, 'Fantasy' ~ I DO NOT exist for YOUR judgement or approval. Don't LIKE it? Don't look!
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
She has the right to go through your things but I wouldn’t go about it the way she is. It sounds like she is just going and looking through your things like you’re a prisoner and you’ve brought in contraband. If my child is under the age of 10, I would do it that way but you’re only 3 years away from being an adult so I would definitely let my child start to have some independence. It’s gonna be a real eye opening experience for your mom when you turn 18 and just leave the house and never come back to visit her. She’s probably going to play the “But don’t you want to visit your dear Mother?” line so just be prepared. If I was trying to find out what’s in the notebook (I’m not sure why she’s so focused on this sketchbook anyway), I would at least strike up a conversation about what you’ve been working on lately and see if you want to share it. At this point, your mom can’t expect you to come to her with any of your actual problems or have a serious conversation since she’s treating you like prison guard/prisoner instead of parent/child. So she does have a right to go through your stuff since it’s her house and you’re her child but I would reserve that power only if you had gotten into serious trouble or had a problem with lying.
Not really. My mom used to do that. She'd go through my phone, look at my texts, get mad at me over things, she even read my diary and everything I wrote in it was about her, and the things she did that made me mad or hurt my feelings. Sketching/drawing/writing is a good way to express yourself and it's fun. I know how you feel. I used to make paper dolls ALL the time when I was little and I'd play with them for hours, and I'd play with them on the floor and my mom would just come in and carelessly step on them. I'm sorry she does that to your art/writing, it must be really frustrating, she shouldn't do that.
This might be an unpopular opinion but as a kid you don’t have any authority under your parents roof. They can go through anything at anytime you have no real privacy. Their number 1 priority (at least for parents who care about you) is to keep you safe. There are stories of kids who have done horrible things or have severe mental health problems who need help that they talk about in their journals or diaries and their parents should see that. When I was younger than 18 I basically had nothing to hide or keep private anyway so I had no problem with privacy.
Legally children are sort of like property, even saw a judge state that in a family law case once. Told the child, they are property and have to do what the parents say.
Privacy is respectful, but at the same time parents go through stuff to try and protect their children, make sure they aren't planning on running off with a old man, or doing other illegal acts.
I know it sucks, but it is reality until your an adult. I'd personally use a word processor and password protect my journal, so my parents couldn't read it.
Yes, and the smart parents keep tabs on their kids. It's to protect them. When they are going through your stuff, they are not taking it all in. They are looking for anything dangerous, questionable and concerns.
Children and teens are not known for their superior decision-making. In many real world stories parents saved their children. My manager was snooping through his daughter's messages with her boyfriend. The boyfriend wanted her to move in with him, and the only way he saw that possible at their age, was cause her parent's death. Their daughter wasn't taking him seriously, but he seemed ready and willing to see things through. The daughter thought no big deal. Parents saw something else.
You can get a privacy door knob and swap that out for about $15.
Technically, you are the minor in their household, and they usually have a legal right to control things on their property.
If you have the means to get out on your own AND would want to do so AND have the ability to stick it out, find out the "age of emancipation" in your state, emancipate yourself and move out!
On a sidenote, i had my bowling trophies tossed out and they were kind of special to me- I wasn't too happy about that. On the bright side for you, you can redraw your sketches, but I can't re-earn my trophies.
The "age of majority" is when a child becomes an adult in the eyes of the law. When a person reaches the age of majority, they can gain major legal responsibilities, like the right to vote, join the military, or sign a contract.
The age of majority may sometimes grant other rights, like the ability to buy cigarettes, consent to medical treatment, or get insurance. Every state sets their own age of majority and the specific restrictions as to what the adult cannot do until they reach that age. The Age of Majority for MOST states is 18. "Age of Emancipation of minors" is a legal way by which a child- before attaining the "age of majority"- is freed from control by their parents or guardians, and the parents or guardians are freed from responsibility for the child. Minors are normally considered legally incompetent to enter into contracts and to handle their own affairs. Emancipation overrides that presumption and allows emancipated children to legally make certain decisions on their own behalf. In the United States, all states have some form of emancipation of minors. So on the plus side, you can have your own apartment or house, lock the doors and no one can look at your belongings. On the other hand, YOU will have to pay for that place to stay, and be responsible for its upkeep, taxes, utility payments, making your own meals, etc. because your parents would be freed of "controlling'" AND supporting you.
Ooh ok, the age of majority in my state is 18 and age of emancipation is 14. I’m old enough to get a job, I think I could do it but my mom would freak out and probably not like me living on my own
I got the same rule as my sister who's got 3 daughters. So long as I dont see or find when I go around to clean stuff up anything illegal I won't purposely dig in your stuff. Me personally I'm fine with stuff staying private so long as they aren't like ya know breaking the law. Its like how else are your kids ever gonna grow up if they feel like your a stranger digging through their stuff. Let them learn what it means to have privacy or else your kids gonna turn into that weird kid in college who doesn't know how to keep their hands to themselves.
Children’s right is that they must be protected. a lot of parents get really worry about their kids…the biggest fear… losing their child. As well as in school… they have to make sure kids are locked in.. in terms of her going through your stuff and tearing it … need more info. what you drew. Still should not tear your drawings.. I had a student in first grade drew pictures of killing.. we had to do something about that. hopefully you can talk to your mom about your need for some privacy and you can open up to talk to her about your life/concerns/friends/school work.
For me, it is ok only under certain circumstances; if I suspect you are on drugs or if I feel you might be a threat to yourself or others then I am going to look. Everything else I am hoping I have built enough trust between us for you to come to me.
I have never done anything bad like that, I’ve never even gotten into a fight before. But for some reason I feel like my mom thinks I’m a monster.
She on multiple occasions brought me to a psychiatrist cause she wanted me to get evaluated to get into a psyche ward. They only evaluated me with depression.
Sorry, I wasn't implying you were doing any of those things. I was just talking more in general, but yeah that does seem kind of strange that your mom so bent on finding anything to use.
Until you are 18 there is really nothing you can do. Your parents are not breaking a law. However, it is concerning that they get so upset at something they simply do not agree with. I feel as if a piece of the story is missing, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and answer as if you are in the right. This is a simple case of "suck it up buttercup" until you turn 18 (if in the U. S.). However, when you do turn 18 (or whatever your nation's age of adulthood is) you will need to set very firm boundaries or they will find a way to control you as an adult. However, before setting those boundaries, have a backup place to stay in case they kick you out. I know it sucks to hear this, but this is how situations with toxic parents usually goes.
Um, yeah. Ultimately, yes. Parents have the right and duty to make sure their kids are on the right track, or as close to it as possible. Kids are the parents sole responsibility. That being said, I believe in privacy. So I always let my kids have privacy unless there was a reason for me to have to spy or go through their stuff. It was rare that I ever had to do anything like that. I don't recall every having to go through all my kids stuff. I understand that children are people too. And that they have to ultimately navigate life on their own terms. So as long as they stay within my boundaries, I let them be. I think I only had to dig through their stuff twice. The problem was resolved and that was that. I didn't do helicopter parenting. Now they are both adults, so at this point, I am just back up. I don't like being told what to do, or how I ought to live so I don't tell people what they ought to do and how to live, including my kids. I am here for them if they need help.
I usually would get angry and say something but it never stopped them. They are nosy because they can and they know you're their responsibility and their house rules, you're new to the world and they want to know who you really are. This kind of behaviour is distancing you from them. Bad lazy parenting. Actually could solve a lot of things by actually making time for you and talking to you about your feelings developing trust. So just do whatever your heart desires knowing all she does is tear things out or writes on it lol you should take some positive that your mom likes to look at what you do. If she directly talks to you about something just say that every kid has vivid imaginations you just express it and feel better afterwards.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
If my mom or dad ever did this to me, I never knew about it, so either they were covert snoopers, or what I truly believe, is that they trusted me. To all the people saying, parents should snoop, that to me indicates a lack of trust that you have taught your kids to do the right thing or overbearing/overprotective parents. UNLESS, you have done something to lose their trust or exhibited some dangerous behaviours, a parent should trust that their kids are doing the right thing and give them their privacy. This kind of thing, especially when you are well aware of it, only fosters a very negative relationship with your parent or parents because this only pushes kids to hide not only things like a drawing pad, but deeper things that may actually be hurting you because you don't want to share things with people whom you feel you can't trust you. It has the absolute opposite affect of what they hope their actions are doing.
You have a right to privacy in certain situations such as in the restroom. However, if you are giving your parents reasons to not trust you, they have a right as parents who are legally responsible for you and can be held legally liable for your actions to do as they see fit to keep you and them from trouble and the consequences foolish actions might bring. Just knowing that your parents watch you carefully has likely kept you from more trouble than you'll admit here. Unfortunately, I had parents who didn't pay close attention and I'd say all these years later that I suffer consequences from that lack of monitoring. Fights, drinking, many sexual relationships... I wish I had parents like yours. Be grateful. You have parents that care.
Use you imaginatio to hide Things. No need to write a journal, do your art and hide it well somewhere. I did that too, i was good at writing to girls and i did write a lot, got a lot back too. It's not alright tht your mother does that but at the same time she won't stop either. So get creative and find new ways to hide things. If she caught you again, tell her it's her fault because is terrorising your orivacy and you creativity. Good luck
I used to draw naked women and weapons and scenes from some of my stories when I was like 12 and my dad even asked me why the fuck I was drawing a bunch of guns and if I was okay. I had to explain that drawing concepts of the weapons and tech my characters use in their sci-fi stories is helpful for writing not indicative of me being a future shooter or serial killer. That's why you don't go through your kid's shit.
well no you DO go through your kids shit. your dad was just an idiot and didn't understand the fundamentals of the male spirit needing to express violence
@007kingifrit In his defense, one of the stories I did concept art for was one that was directly about a school shooting in a small New Brunswick town that rocks the community and forces everyone to find a way forward after, so that was the only one I could see as being legitimately alarming. I was also frustrated that the plot seemed to alarm everyone as well, no one seemed to grasp the concept that said story (Black Sheep) was not really supposed to be about the school shooting itself, it's about healing. Said story was structured in such a way that the beginning of the story is the immediate aftermath of the shooting, like bodies are being carted out by cops... the rest is both the community trying to come to terms with losing 22 people and the flashbacks interspersed that show the build up to the actual shooting at the very end: You already know who won't make it because they aren't in the parts set after. I didn't want the focus to be on "oh, I wonder who won't make it". I want it to be on "WHY did this happen, how to understand it", same as the characters.
Unfortunately the artwork just showed dead bodies and M4s so that was lost on most. I can see that one being problematic in others' eyes. The sci-fi weapons anyone with a basic grasp of weaponry could clearly identify as being fictional concepts rather than real-world blueprints.
For the record I wrote most of my shit between the ages of 9-18. Black Sheep was when I was 18.
of course not your mom has no right to do so don't you have any study place? cause u can keep your journal/sketchbook there as if they are ur study stuff I also don't have any lock in my bookshelf but I keep my journal this way hope it helps OO
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Familiar story. I kind of had a similar problem. your mother is toxic. doesn't matter what anybody says "she's your mother", "you're legally a minor", "they're protective" etc... Doesn't change nor help anything. here's how you can get out of that sticky situation:
stay low, don't talk to your mother and don't keep secrets as in don't make your secrets exposable. keep doing that until you're adult. once you're adult find an entry level job ASAP (spam your CV to all companies you can find and feign your interest in them) and don't quit working. Make sure you keep your money, not your parents. then move out of your parents house and live on your own terms. In the beginning you might consider cohabiting with someone. then you're Victorious.
all the others saying anything but obviously didn't have inadequate parents.
Yes, it's true that as a kid you do not have a right to privacy. Also, it is a parents job to monitor the child and know what they are up to (so many fail here). That being said, my personal opinion is that she should not be destroying your art, but every parent is going to have a different style. Hang in there, I know it seems like it, but you won't be a child forever.
I regularly go through my teens phones to check they aren’t talking to people they shouldn’t be and they are being decent human beings (not sending mean texts or even receiving mean texts) diaries etc are none of my business and shouldn’t be your parents. It’s a book for your eyes only and you can’t cause harm to yourself or anyone else so there’s no need for parents to look
For just no reason or just to be controlling, no! But in cases where a parent thinks their child is using drugs or seeing someone they shouldn't be (example a 14-15 year old girl dating a 26-28 year old guy, then yes.. A parent is responsible for protecting their child from the harms in this world and sometimes that means protecting them from themselves or their self destructive behavior...
Honestly to an extent no. She should not be looking through your stuff that is private. My parents would look through my texts, snapchats, Instagram messages, etc whenever i got my phone taken away in highschool and its like invasive. I think it’s understandable to a point but at the same time no. Like once your a teenager they should be more respectful
My parents never go through my shit, they give me full privacy. Just due the level of trust they have with me from the get go, it in turn encourages me to uphold it. So when i do things like say, lying to them, it actually makes me feel bad. Not because i will be punished for it, but because i will be harming that unconditional mutual trust they placed on me. It feels like cheating.
To help your case, i strongly suggest you have an honest talk with your mom.
Ask her how does she expect this to work out in the long run. What will she do when you're an adult? She cannot monitor you forever. What makes her think that her daughter will magically start trusting her when she's older, when there's 0 trust between herself and her daughter now?
I mean let's be honest is it the kid's stuff or the parent's stuff because they purchased it? But either way, it is an invasion of privacy which shouldn't happen to anyone but also note that as a kid you don't get to have that privacy especially with your own parents, as long as they are not doing it with bad intention, usually parents do that when they think their kid is up to something, and as a kid, we can sometimes we can be non compliment with our parents no matter how right they are.
I think parents are ok with stuff in plain sight or if they suspect drugs/alcohol etc. But to go through your drawings and personal notes etc. is not right. You are 15 and will be driving in a year. I think you should also have a lock on your door... what if you want to masturbate in private after all?
It's not really ok but it is very common. In the future keep in mind that if you can't hide it where nobody will look or lock it up keeping the key on you then it is not going to be private. Someone will always want to know what you feel is private so remember this. Parents, siblings, all your partners, and then your kids. It's not safe unless nobody can get to it
It sucks but with all the craziness in the world today parents need to do some things that they probably wish they didn’t have to. Raising my girls we only did the whole shake down thing if they gave us reason that was my rule anyways my wife was a little more on the nosy side. I believe it’s a persons right to have a certain degree of privacy but when there’s so many things places and people out there looking to harm especially our daughters it’s hard to be fair all the time
Under the right circumstances but in my opinion if you feel you need to then you raised your kid wrong. Not wrong but you didn't do enough consistently. No knock on you it just means your parents probably didn't either and so on down the line. You cannot give what u haven't got
One of the most important is Article 16 of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC), which states: “No child shall be subjected to arbitrary or unlawful interference with his or her privacy, family, home or correspondence, nor to unlawful attacks on his or her honor and reputation.”
doopayo we might not see eye to eye with many things but that sounds borderline abusive behavior all in all that is not right even children are by default entitled to some privacy and even worse she is actively destroying your items and work. do you have any other adult relatives who you could talk to? or plain someone outside your family who you trust please talk to someone and not just on here
No it’s not okay. I’d be pissed off af if my mom did that. That’s nosy and not what a parent should do but perhaps she thinks the stuff you doodle or write down are cute and stuff. I’d never look at my kids journals unless they’re suspected of murder or something lol
I'd say hell no for most cases unless there is reasonable doubt, i. e. depression and suicide in teens. I mean if snooping is the best way to learn about it and prevent it then by all means but depends on grounds and under normal circumstances, I'd say no. Respect privacy, kids need that.
That's simply not acceptable.. I could see it if she thought you were a drug risk or she thought you were trying to get pregnant or something.. But her behavior, tearing it up, throwing it out, the act of just going through it without cause is just wrong.. I am so sorry that's happening to you.
You should have a right to that kind of privacy. Why is she doing this? As a guy, I feel like asking the question, do you, as females, lack the ability to talk excessively with each other about everything? What is going on with her? Is she trying to compensate for something, somehow?
That's good that you've got a bestie, then. I don't know. Sometimes, women and their mothers get along great. Other times, not at all. I wonder if your mom feels like she doesn't know you. Does she work a lot, or are you seldom home?
She worked a lot when I was younger so now she’s smothering me because she wants to make up for it. She took out a sketch of anatomy practice because she thought it was sexual but it was just a art study
Unfortunately you being a minor. You may have to grin and bare it for a few more years. Unless you could go live with a relative. You need to learn to live with the situation unless it would become abusive, then maybe the police can help you. But then that could make things worse.
My mom went through my stuff when younger I just got better at hiding stuff I didn’t want her to find honestly which wasn’t much. I will never forget the one time my best friend came over to take a pregnancy test and she had dropped the box near my bed. When I came home my whole room was practically flipped upside down 😩 I just ended up telling her because I wasn’t getting in trouble for bs.
You respect your childs privacy unless they give you reason they are about to harm themself or another. Imagine if the columbine parents looked through the childrens things when the showed signs of trouble. However looking through them without reason is not right to do
Respect is earned. Parents are responsible for their children. If you want respect from your parents don’t give a reason to have your ‘privacy’ violated. If you give a little you get a lot. Communication solves a lot of problems in all relationships.
... some parents deserveö no respect some parents deserve no children please dont assume that just because one is a mother or a father they will actually do things for the good of their children and unless you have some information I dont those parents sound abusive sure if they have trust issues and they feel the need to check her room for whatever BUT destroying her stuff is a nogo no matter what way you go at it
Yes and no, I would never just go through their things because I'm nosy the only reason I would ever go through their things is to make sure that they are safe. But things like journals. journals are off balance to me because I because I kept one of my own growing up and that was 1 thing that held the most of my privacy and I would never invade my children like that except for their own safety and well being.
That is wrong. You do have a right to privacy and in my opinion a parent should not be invading that privacy unless they believe you are at risk of harm… I’m sorry that you have to endure that toxicity. Wishing you the best.
you do have many rights i think that you should know she in her mind is trying to protect you. she is going about it in a way that is not right but if you can not get through to her i say just talk to another adult in your life. not all teens are up to no good and maybe she does not trust you that is her problem too.
Absolutely not ok. My mom would do this to me too and while I was lucky enough to have a lock, she knew how to get in regardless. This sort of behavior is not ok. It is controlling and manipulative
No. Absolutely not. My mother did this with my diaries and sketch book too. She'd also listen in on my phone calls thinking I wouldn't notice and it really made me resent her. We never did have a good relationship. Everyone, including children, have a right to privacy. Some things should be allowed to remain personal. If they wanted to share things with their parents, they would. As a mother myself, I deeply detest parents like this.
She sounds controlling. Unfortunately you got to wait it out until you can leave the house though. Not much you can do cause she's your guardian until you reach the age of 18.
Just leave the door open and do whatever you want to do. If you want to lay naked do it. If she asks then tell her you would have closed the door but now you not allowed to
Your mother is the exact reason why so many teens hiding lots of details of their life from their parents. She is not developing a great level of trust with you
@kyleelyn199723 this question here links neatly to the one in the link below. Parents need to understand the longer term actions of doing this stuff. It’s about burning bridges, break trust, which is what snooping is.
If there is a legitimate suspicion of drugs or something dangerous/illegal that’s fine. But nosing through your kids stuff out of a control complex is a bad idea. My mom was like that and all it did was make me rebel even more.
It depends on the age of the child. Under 12 you probaly don't have rights to privacy, but I think the older you get , parents need to have boundaries.
I would never want that it doesn’t really make you feel safe does it? and than you feel like you have to suppress aspects of yourself. If something is bothering you its oksy to express it even if someone else can't handle it
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