Is this wrong for my parents to do?

[Anonymous]

As of earlier this year I moved back in with my parents due to a failed relationship. I was really depressed and unmotivated from it. A few months later I started going out more with friends, getting myself back. As I started going out I’d come in around 1 or 2 o’clock in the morning because my parents hated me coming in so late. Now it’s starting to be unbearable. My parents strictly told me they do not want me coming home around 1 am anymore and that I should focus on getting married. It angers me because I am a 24 year old female who is getting out in curfew by her parents?

[Screenwriter]

When you move back home, you are re-relegated to "child" status by your parents. And you are being disruptive by coming home at 2 in the morning. It is THEIR house and you're parking yourself there until you get back on your feet.

I think it's reasonable that you have a conversation with your parents about your ahem, advanced age and your need to be free to come home by, at the latest, 2 am. And STICK TO THAT as being respectful of your parents' needs to know you're safe and of their far earlier bedtime hours. You don't want them worrying about you, which they will because you are in their home.

The stuff about getting married and the early home hours will cease once you get off your butt and move out and live on your own. You realize, don't you, that you can't have it both ways.

You can't have the freedom and peace you want living at home with your parents. If you want adult freedom, get out of your parents' house and live on your own. It'll hurt your pocketbook, but free your soul and your lifestyle.

[Apinya97]

While it’s nice that your parents welcomed you back home after the difficult time you had with your ex, I really think your parents need to respect the fact that you’re an adult woman and still very young, and if you want to enjoy nights out with your friends, that’s really your right and decision to do so. Coming in at 1-2am isn’t actually that late either, and if you’re not making too much noise then I really don’t see the problem. Sounds like your parents need to chill out a bit. Try explaining to them that at 24, and with all that you’ve been through, you really need your friends in your life right now and to just have a bit of fun. Dating, relationships and marriage can come later if you choose that.

[Kinkyhubby]

Unfortunately it their house, their rules. Maybe it is because they are older, and don't want to be woken up in the middle of the night. MYbe they have work in the morning. Maybe your parents worry about you, and make sure you come home at night, that they are waiting up to hear the door. When you lived on your own, they didn't have to worry about it as much. To them your still their child. And I would say that if you do stay out over night you should probably text then to let them know. It is about piece of mind as a parent. Since you are getting back to your old self, maybe it is time to move back out. Good luck. Hope it gives you some insight.

[Paul09]

I mean it is their home, their rules. But they are exaggerating with these odd rules. You are a adult and can make your own decisions. Lucky I never had that problem with my parents. The only thing is I paid for their tv and gave money each month to help them out with some bills. Yes my parents wanted me to get married and have kids. But they never pushed it on me. Usually religious people are the worst. I only moved out at 33 when I was ready to buy my own place. And my parents didn't want (not ready) me to leave lol.

[Asker]

They are very religious. But how can they have this odd rule when I pay half of my share every month?

[Paul09]

Sorry, but religion does that to people. They are like brainwashed. Religion tells them how to think. And their views on Life are based in that. I don't think you can change them. Also maybe they are just control freaks. It's not nice of them. How can you be independent with them telling you how to live your life? I don't know, if only you could talk to someone about it, that would talk to them about it.

[Screenwriter]

YOU WERE STILL THEIR BABY!!! ahahahahahahaha... And parents are notoriously more casual with males because they're not PHYSICALLY worried about you being hurt as a grown man.

[Paul09]

@Screenwriter Yup. Forever their babies. Lol. Still wants to buy me things, no matter how many times I say no thanks. If she comes over and I didn't do the dishes yet, she does them. Mom's love to be mom's.

[Screenwriter]

I wouldn't say forever. I don't clean up at my son's apartment. That's his job. And if it offends me. I just won't go over. But, he's pretty clean. Anyway, I have my OWN cleaning up to do! She's going overboard. If you want grownup respect, make grownup requests. "Mom, don't wash my dishes. Please. I'll get to them in my own time. I don't come to YOUR house and clean. Respect my space." I've had these convos with my son and he's right about a lot.

Hard for us to let go.

[Paul09]

@Screenwriter oh I do tell her. Mom I'll clean it. Stop , please stop. A lot of the times when she's coming over I do the dishes quickly before she gets here. I do not know why she loves to do it. But lately I've been doing them right away , so so dont have any in the sink.

[Screenwriter]

Maybe that's what she's wanted you to do! It seems to be working... But if it angers you. You might have to have a talk. "Mom, I love you. But I can' t have you washing dishes at my house, unless I ASK you. If you do it anymore, maybe you shouldn't come visit I've asked you this several times and you seem to want to disrespect me and my space.." Look her in the eye when you say this. Might shame her into stopping. Don't forget to add, "I don't clean up at your house, do I? Don't do it at mine."

Be very straightforward and serious. If she doesn't get it, you'll have to enforce stricter boundaries with her. It's up to you.

[DollAlone]

For one, their house, their rules but for two, not only should they be grateful you're coming home safe, but pushing marriage on you is where its wrong! Ask them how you're supposed to meet a husband if you aren't putting yourself out there on the market. Sarcastically of course, you dont go out looking for husbands, true love will find YOU. So your only left options are to move out amd get your own place OR be direct with them and explain how you feel.

[Anonymous]

No, it’s not wrong. You’re in their house, so it’s their ruled. If they don’t want you coming home in the middle of the night then you can’t. It makes sense that they don’t want to be woken up and bothered in the middle of the nights. If you don’t like it then you’re free to move out.

[SnowedIn]

Wrong? No. Their place and there rules EVEN if you pay some form of rent. You may not like it but that is the way it is.

[inhua]

to be honest, I'd be mad too if I was woken up at 1 am or 2 am in the morning.

[LazerBean]

It's their home. If you don't like the rules, pack up your stuff and leave.

[Vikkrram]

I would say change the title and write " Am i wrong here "?

[jayhams]

If you don't want to live by someone else's rules then don't live with them.

[Wise4myage]

Yes, but their house, their rules. So you need to think about moving out.

[joeldalton]

Their house, their rules. You don't like it, move out.

[Synikal]

Their house, their rules.