Should I start ignoring my married "whipped" friend? He never even bothers to get back to me anymore?

[Anonymous]

Before you say anything I have other friends who are married as well but this ones wife literally keeps him on a ball and chain, they've been married for a while too and he has 0 freedom. Sometimes we talk and he's off his leash but eventually he just dissapears from the world again and never gets back to me and it's getting annoying, no other married friend is like this. Should I just give up on reaching out anymore?

[Anonymous]

When people are in a relationship, they will want to be with their partners more frequently, but ditching your friends at every single opportunity or having them be at the beck and call of their spouse every single second is something they are allowing to happen while they are also not valuing your friendship. Just like a relationship, a friendship is a two way street that involves efforts on both you and his part to maintain it. If he can't be bothered to make any efforts to show up or hang out or be a free man outside of his relationship, then I always say, first have that conversation with your friend letting them know that you've made all this effort to hang out and they aren't coming through so if things don't change, you no longer want to keep doing that. Sometimes this is a wake up call. If they don't make any efforts, then devote your time/energy to the friends that do show up, married or not!

[MTC29]

There is little or no chance of his ever coming back. I had a good fried who was exactly as you describe: his wife controlled every free minute of his days and nights. Talk about a short leash; if he was "allowed" to go somewhere, she had to accompany him. Honesty, no one else's wife of girlfriend insisted on tagging along to gun shows. We didn't need her... which means we lost him.

I'm afraid that your friend is gone. Remember him as he was. Don't think of what he has become.

[liel443]

Are you sure you meant 'literally'?

[Asker]

Yeah why

[liel443]

Does she LITERALLY keep him on a ball and chain?

[Asker]

I'm sure she does

[liel443]

Take him to a locksmith and take this thing off