How would you react if your kid asked you to stop picking him up from school because he's embarrassed to be seen with you?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think teen years are the hardest to deal with a kid, but it also depends how you have been with them in their pre- teen years.
My mom always says, that a child is only dependent on you till the time they are too small to do anything on their own. Even the most basic stuff, once they are able to do things as simple as getting water by themselves, they will only look for your appreciation and maybe some guidance!
It’s rude the way your child spoke to you, but I hope your only answer was “ Alright “
If he has asked you not to pick him up from school, then kindly abide by his request specially if it’s possible for you to let him ride alone, whether it’s via bus or a metro or any other way.
Be his friend but do no intrude unless you think he’s being shady about something.
Tell him, that as a parent you feel it’s your duty to protect them and be around them because for you they are still a child, but you do understand where’s he coming from, been there, done that hence, you will let him do things on his own. Also, tell him, “ I really want you to make it big in life, and trust you with all my heart. Therefore you have decided that you will just sit back and watch him do things on his own, bcz it will eventually help you only. But also do take in the assurance that he will never lie to you about his whereabouts or anything in general, not bcz you don’t trust him but because you would know how to help him if ever the need arises. Then get up and leave, but then come back, and tell him you didn’t like the way he spoke to you and he can apologise to you whenever he genuinely realises his wrongful attitude. Then leave again. Scene ends! Always command respect. Put your thoughts across politely and then just leave. Give the other person some time to process it.
They key is to listen, empathise , correct ( if needed) take responsibility (if needed) and close it.
I hope this helps!

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

I can relate to this because I was the kid that told my mom to quit driving me and picking me up from school. I think it's time to grant your child their wish. It feels so embarrassing in front of the students when they turn a certain age. If you drive them because you want to make sure they are safe, perhaps you couy park your car where he can't see you, and watch from afar.

ohshee · Accepted Answer

Okay first of all he's not embarrassed of you. embarrassed because he doesn't have a ride and his mom picks him up.
Just don't want to be seen as a mama's boy
All the Above in his head and he's trying to be seen as somebody that he's not
This is actually a really good thing for him because of
.* cause and effect.* he's trying to be seen as an adult.
He knows that you love him and he's afraid that you're going to say something stupid in front of all his friends that would embarrass him
Because if you say something nice he's going to have to say something nice back and he doesn't want people to know that's who he really is
I love you. I love you too Mom.
He thinks if that happened he's looked upon this week or mushy
Don't worry about it you will be okay I was the exact same way it's how you raised him and it's still okay
My son is 6 foot 7 a big boy that as the look the has the personality he's a fireman paramedic. And I don't care where we are at we have run into each other in the middle of the mall and I will hear someone yell Daddy I will turn will be my son we will walk towards each other he will wrap his arms around me and give me the biggest hug ever and I love you. It's because he knows exactly who he is he knows exactly who he wants to be and he's not embarrassed to show who he is because he doesn't care what other people think who cares what he thinks and who he is he could have 20 of his best friends around him and he would still do the same thing.
Your son is a very deep person. Very good person a caring giving loving person but he doesn't want to show anybody he's that way at least not yet but he will

TheSpaceGnome · Accepted Answer

I'd be fine with it.

Kids need to spend time with other kids their age, and it doesn't matter how cool of a parent you are, your kid isn't going to want to be known as someone who needs mommy's/daddy's help getting to and from school, it ruins their image at school as someone who's cool.

Most kids have unrealistic expectations of eachother, and no amount of good parenting or scolding from a teacher will change that, but unless their school is miles away and there is no bus, they really don't need their parent's help getting there unless you live in a very bad neighborhood.

DonkeyDan · Answer

So like every teen ever? It would be rare for teens to be happy to been seen with their parents by their friends. In reality it's the start of them testing their independence and the feeling that they don't need to be reliant on a parent or at least seen to be reliant on a parent. Don't you remember as a teen you wanted to be independent, and didn't you ever feel embarrassed to be seen with your parents at times at a teen?

charlean · Answer

I’d ask why theyre embarrassed, like is it my appearance, the car, the way i spoke? If it’s not something I can/‘m willing to change because it’s unreasonable to make them feel more comfortable then they sure whatever, they can walk or get a bus I can afford to pay for their bus ticket and they’re old enough

TwinkleLily5 · Answer

Maybe he’s saying in other words that having his mom pick him up from school is not so cool. He may just want a little more independence or freedom (hopefully not to get into Trouble). And if he’s embarrassed of being seen with you just ask him why, problem solved.

NathanDavis · Answer

the very next day... I'll dress like a cholo and borrow a low-rider... then walk his/her classroom door, dancing around him/her Chúntaro style till it starts raining... lmfao...

Piper_Jackson · Answer

I would probably be a little hurt, but I’m the other hand that’s fucking tough. I’m picking you up, your the child and I’m the adult. You deal with me for 18 years and if after you don’t want to be with me than that’s fine but until than that’s tough shit.

jekyllhyde · Answer

He’s growing up. Let him be to discover himself. We can’t hold onto kids for long. The more restraint the further away they move from you. You will be provoking the very thing you are trying to prevent. Last thing you need is a skipper or a gangster kid. Just be on the sidelines looking out to make sure he isn’t in any real danger. Time to remove those training wheels

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

Well what can you do about it.

We can ask for the reason why is it embarrssing or whose bullying them.

Then we can leave them for sometime and for them to travel alone or with friends

They might come back if not then it's time to let them roll on their own

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe it is something you are doing like the way you act that makes them embarrassed, try talking to him to find out why he feels embarrassed to be seen with you, I will say this if your child is a least 13 years old think they are old enough to get the bus to and from school, I don’t feel teens need a parent picking them up

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Tough titties, life sucks and he / she can get in the car.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

Like I've definitely done something wrong with raising them

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

Also, I’m gonna change the “cluster fuck lesbian” since the character based on one of my cats Willa no longer be in human form (also, no one is or was actually lesbian, he was just saying that).

Djaay · Answer

As parent , this is a classic teen articulation they all do when they're guilty of something or want to do something they know you won't approve of. What's funny beyond recognition is when you constrive they're new found independant strive of freedom and match it now with responsibility and consequences how fast and sudden that new found freedom gets quickly aborted , like hours later. lmao... teens and they're intellectual inability

TangBang69 · Answer

Straight call him out and embarrass his ass in front of a crowd of his school mates. Maybe waving some clean skivvies he was supposed to put on and put the dirties in the wash... look behind his ears too.

tilmyheadblows · Answer

Try to build a better relationship with them, honestly. I wouldn't be hurt that they're embarrassed; I was embarrassed of my parents as a kid, too. Sometimes I still am a little. I'd just use it as a chance to get closer and get to know them better.

dustybiker · Answer

I’d fix the minivan to backfire (loud and smokey) by button. 😁

CaliSixx · Answer

Then I would. I don't find it "embarrassing" for my mom to pick me up or drop me off but I usual prefer her not to because she always shows up blasting 2000s hip hop. But give them space. They may come around eventually or they may not

hahahmm · Answer

I think it's foolish to drive kids all over the place anyhow so I would've never gotten into that situation in the first place. Kid would have a lot of mileage on his shoes/bikes.

AmandaYVR · Answer

Sounds like a typical teenager. It's like they live and die based on their peers' opinions of them. Just try and ignore it and hope they grow out of it soon?

whosnumber1 · Answer

I wouldn't really care or take offense. kids go through a lot of bullshit in school. I would be more interested as to why he felt this way and maybe I could pick them up half way or something. solutions, not problems.

wkozak · Answer

It's fine because he's just trying to act cool in front of his classmates and friends, the most of teenagers think in this way and when they grow they change their mind and say: "it was so cringy".

Visionary7 · Answer

Lol I actually hear this frequently from family/friends kids. I would remind them who changed their stinking diapers and looked after them whilst growing up

Anonymous · Answer

I would assure them that from now on, I'll try to be really cool when picking them up. I'll roll up like "Sheeeeeeeeesh! You want McDonald's for dinner? Bet! Hop in, boi!" Problem solved.

DizzyDesii · Answer

I’d tell him to walk around the block and get his ass in the car if he doesn't want to be seen 🤣

sawno · Answer

Respect his wish and let him take the bus or park further away.

jshm2 · Answer

Yeah well, you should be giving your kid a bike to ride, way before it comes to this.

SnakeBoop · Answer

Time to ask WHY i embarrass them. That would be pretty terrible they feel the need to ask that

Anonymous · Answer

They would never say that. They love me and don't have poor self esteem or image. I think we can all say that the people we grew up with were not worth impressing nor were any better than us.

EmbraceThePain · Answer

He/she should get over it, tough.  He’ll/she’ll be okay.

Fireguy17 · Answer

that is pretty normal, how old? Also if you drive just a plain old car, nothing cool about a minivan.

Pyrofox · Answer

Is he old enough to drive yet? How is he gonna get home?

DaveJord · Answer

I'd feel bad, but its not necessary not normal. But its kinda hurtful.

Anonymous · Answer

No it's not it's just that coming with your Mommy or daddy to school makes you Feel embarrassed, makes you seem like you aren't mature since you've come with an adult , which most kids love to think themselves as pretty cool , that they are smart the same as grown ups

AviatorTom · Answer

Let him walk home a few times. He'll get tired of it and won't mind me picking him up.

t-8900 · Answer

tough cookies, get in! FYI repeat offenders will be punished with house chores.

Avicenna · Answer

Then he’s walking , riding the bus or riding with a girlfriend.

Alexandrubaschet08 · Answer

Ask him why he feel embares or give him real reson to be embaresed

front2back · Answer

Upgrade my ride to a Toyota Technical with a machine gun mounted on it blaring propaganda for Allah so he feels comfortable getting in.

Jackblue · Answer

Teenager will be teenagers, try not to be to upset. It is nothing personal after all he or she just wants independence.

humpbackjack · Answer

I’d feel like I failed to bring them up better than that

Anonymous · Answer

It would hurt my feelings (even though I can relate from when I was in school) but if he/she was old enough to walk home, then I’d allow that.

Juxtapose · Answer

"You have some nerve! No electronics for a week & you're grounded."

crazy8000 · Answer

Hard to say without more context. Usually prefer that my child go to and home on their own after a certain age most of the time.

Nazgol · Answer

I'd say fine, then you can walk home instead (even if it's like -40° w/windchill weather

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

I’d stop picking them up. Tell them they have 2 legs.

ChiPaPa · Answer

Ok. I will not take you anywhere besides appointments. Good luck in looking cool.

Wise4myage · Answer

You shouldn't take it personally and respect his boundary.

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't take it personally. Most kids don't want to be seen with their parents.

Darksign · Answer

I was one of those kids. If my son or daughter is the same way i'll totally understand. It might hurt a bit but I'll let them ride the bus

scooogy · Answer

There's worse

Fuentes · Answer

I would now know i am old and no longer cool in this new era lol i don't think i would feel bad i always knew this day would come

BigApe · Answer

They have all done so. Normal behavior. Mom & Dad are embarrassing, bit don't worry - you'll get even later when all their friends tell them that your kids have the COOLEST parents...

CaptainSmartass · Answer

I'd ask what was embarrassing. Then, I'd probably take him to Burger King. Simples...

jasco · Answer

Well that's to bad kid, cause I am your dad and to be fair they may kiss my ass.

lovedejj_xo · Answer

I’d stop picking them up and do my own thing less work for me you figure it out ……..

Iron_Man · Answer

That would be a huge disaster For a parent. Off too military school you go For insubordination

Jay3344 · Answer

I’d have flash backs of me thinking that about my parents. Probably just accept it

NightOwl8801 · Answer

Tough luck , it's either get a ride from me or a friend if you don't ride the bus

TallAnon · Answer

"Tough luck, kiddo, you're stuck with me, so you better get used to people seeing you around me."

anylolone · Answer

Just stop, hey, the kid wants some independence, that's good.

Vintage-Kun · Answer

I mean assuming that in an alternate universe, I did want kids, I still probably wouldn't care. I'd actually understand their point of view.

How would you react if your kid asked you to stop picking him up from school because he's embarrassed to be seen with you?

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