How would you feel if your daughter snuck out of the house to be with a boy you didn't approve of?

[Kayla45]

I would be extremely unhappy with her, then ground her from her phone and almost all privileges she previously had. What would you do in this situation?

Updates

+1 y

Theoretically speaking even if you don't have one.

[COMMODOREII]

I'd stalk them and always sneak up on the guy. And find my way to always be around them. Ever sneaking up on them and scoping out the places the hang out. Then my daughter would be like, "daaaaad" all whiney like. And it would go to death's ears and yeah. I would do that. 😎

[Kayla45]

You sound like an awesome father tbh lol

[COMMODOREII]

Now i just need kids. Lol

[MisterSir]

i would cry

[Kayla45]

Same

[MisterSir]

thank you

[jgokgotit]

First, I would congratulate her on getting past me since I am a very super aware person who has amazing attention to detail. Then I would ask to meet with the boy over dinner and get to know him. Then, when he leaves and she thinks she is off the hook, ground the shit out of her and take everything besides her bed out of her room. I would have some of my police friends and former shipmates watch over her when I am gone (I know enough people to keep 24 hour surveillance if needed since we all work different shifts).
If that was not enough I would have my daughter spend a week with my mother. My mother is the type of person who, if she knows what my daughter is being punished for, will respect whatever punishments I have imposed and will punish her further to the extent I allow. My mother is a retired Army sergeant with all the time in the world on her hands. However, my mother can be VERY blunt and graphic towards another female if she feels the need, so it would have to be severe for me to involve my mother. I promise a week being punished by my mother would straighten ANYBODY out.

[Anonymous]

I don't remember exactly what happened. All I remember being really angry. She said I'm going outside for a minute and then I heard a truck drive off. I called her and spoke in the kind of controlled voice like when you are going to blow.

He brought her back I went up to the pick up truck to walk her to the house. I slammed the truck door and to be honest I didn't do it on purpose but it had a nice effect. Don't remember what I did after that. That boyfriend was not a keeper.

[Aguysopinion4799]

I would be very worried.
I wouldn't cut off social media because I want her to be able to talk with friends
I would not let her go out with friends for about a week

I would sit her down and explain to her why I am doing what I am doing and that it isn't because I am angry but because I was scared about what may have happened to her, hoping that if she knows I am not angry and that I am legitimately worried about her safety, she may be able to take the news better.

I learned that when growing up, you tend to get angry and try to ignore your parents when they say they are angry at you for doing something, so I want to grow up as a parent who sits them down calmly and tells them why I didn't want them to do what they did.

I might even tell her that if she brought the guy over to me and I spoke with him for long enough a couple times, she might be able to go out with him, I feel like it is a fair way and keep us on the same page :)

[sejla]

I agree with all that you said but I would have added a punishment. Not to the point it would cause rebellion but enough to get the point across. It really is a safety issue. Love with guidance is the key.

[Aguysopinion4799]

@sejla Very well said, my main target would be to keep them safe and have a good relationship with my own kids, but I also don't want them going into the rebellious stage, even though it is very likely in the teenage years.

Adding a punishment would be very difficult because I feel that the moment punishment is added, it either works well or makes them hate you for how you treated them, reducing your relationship.

But yes, absolutely all about safety :)

[Nik1hil]

Honestly..
Ask her to test that Guy!.
And prove to me that he is good enough..
If not..
Then I will make sure to teach her that she doesn't gets permanently damaged..
But if she has asshole Boy attractive syndrome..
Then I will tell her. She is destroying her.. Life.. And record this in video..
I won't stop her..
That way she will just fight me..
I would let her make mistake..
Because when that asshole breaks her heart she will know what i meant to say..
I will show that video of me warning her..
And I will then be there when it happens..
And not laugh in her face but support her emotionally and teach her right from wrong..
So she finds her way back to Love with a worthy Guy..

[Telekinetic-Potato]

You gotta let kids learn lessons they don't want to take from you on their own. The best you can do is make sure they actually learn something from what their doing and try to help them see whats wrong early enough to protect themselves.

And if warranted, cut the break line in that losers car and plant a ton of felony class drugs in the glovebox where he keeps his registration

[codycccccccccc]

I would be incredibly impressed she managed to get out with out of the alarm or the dogs barking not to mention the mile run to the gate to meet him if she wants it that bad go for it but I doubt that will happen I scared my sisters prom date si bad he literally shit himself

[13IsALuckyNumber]

Not because I don’t approve of the boy, just because she snuck out. I would punish her.

[Anonymous]

Exactly what you would do. Ground her for a long time and take away almost everything she's got for fun. She'll only get to use a flip phone until I decide otherwise; people need phones this day and age. But no smart phone. I'd also rig up an alarm system around the house that I will turn on as soon as it's bed time. If it goes off, she's gonna get even worse punishments.

[sejla]

I think the flip phone is the way to go. I actually drove to the Verizon store and asked them about their flip phones and why I wanted it. My daughter at the time had been a bit sassy. He told he could even block her data among others things.

[Opinion Owner]

@sejla Now that's a good idea. I believe it's possible to block certain numbers as well... That'd be useful... ... Look at me, I'm coming up with ideas to punish my daughter and I've never even had a girlfriend before in my life, let alone a child. lol.

[sejla]

Yep it is better to have somewhat benign punishments that seem to affect the child at the time but don't cause any long term harm. One time I made my daughter give up social media and texting and she could only talk on the phone with my permission. The plus was I could sort of catch some of her conversation but the down side was her friends thought she blocked them so she asked if she could call them all to tell them she wasn't mad just being punished. To this day she still prefers to talk on the phone versus texting for real conversations.

[Shahax]

Depends why I dont approve of him and how old she is because my daughter is gonna learn self defense and trigger discipline

[justawhiteman]

well id tell the boy he can kiss my ass if he thinks my daughters seeing her again... id prob be really overprotective of her.. I've always wanted a daughter by the way!

[Guanfei]

She'd be grounded. And the boy would be dead. And probably buried in 80 different places.

[tara987]

Just for wanting to be with your daughter?

[Guanfei]

@tara987 Yes. No one touch my princess.

[Dolemite510]

Well of course punish her but that’s totally normal teenage behavior, I was sneaking out late to have sex with girls my mom probably wouldn’t have liked when I was in high school lol

[Stan_Control_]

I would be pissed, yes. But in thid context, i'd be her father. Not her Overlord. I think parents must accept the choices of their children.

[Thatsamazing]

I don't have a daughter so I wouldn't do anything because I can't, because she doesn't exist.

[DanOh2018]

I would fein fatherly disapproval and make sure they are being safe. Honestly though this was me as a kid so the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

[Reddwolf]

Well I'd tell her that she can't date until after she graduated from school and ground her from everything and she can't leave the house

[Slim57]

Stuff like this is just one of many reasons I won't have a kid, because 50% chance it'll be a girl doing stuff like this and god knows what else, nope, not happening

[Anonymous]

I would drive to the boys house and beat him up in front of her
When a woman watches a man get beat up, she doesn't feel attracted to him anymore.

[tara987]

wtf?

[Opinion Owner]

@tara987 Women are wired to want a man who can defend them.

[tara987]

wired?

[Opinion Owner]

@tara987 Its in their genetic coding and subconscious.
Women want a man who is a capable defender

[tara987]

Fair enough but if my Dad beat up my boyfriend, I wouldn't take it out on my boyfriend. I would be angry at my father.

[Opinion Owner]

@tara987 I am not saying you would be angry or un-empathetic to your boyfriend, but your attraction to him would die down.
It will also make you boyfriend afraid of your dad, in that situation. Which would make him less inclined to be intimate with you

[tara987]

I am certain he would have left me if that happened and I couldn't blame him.

[Opinion Owner]

@tara987 I guess from a Man's perspective this squashes any sort of relationship.
From the girls perspective she will feel like she can't express herself.
I think its best to avoid this situation all together.

[tara987]

I was known to sneak out to a boys house from time to time but my parents never figured it out so problem solved.

[Opinion Owner]

@tara987 Thats one way to avoid it haha.
Tbh i have been the young man who sneaks into the daughters bedroom. So I udnerstand it.
I never got caught either.

[TallAnon]

For me not to approve of someone is pretty hardcore, so I would be extremely upset.

[Exorcist_Rampage]

I would explain to her why he isn‘t a relationship fit for her. I would do same with my son also.