Is it wrong to want to be a stay at home wife?

[Fwcheerios]

I recently had an argument with my sisters and mother who were talking about our future careers. I had stated that once I graduate (future elementary teacher here) that I’d obviously do what I had to do to stay alive, but If I was blessed with a husband who could provide for us both, I’d be more than happy to stay home. They got so mad at me and said that I was dumb because i could have double the income, i was wasting money on an education (I am paying for it myself), and inconsiderate to what woman have fought for the past years. Am I blind? Is it so wrong to want to take care of my family at home. They’re making out to seem like I’d be a prisoner. I’d enjoy spending more time with my future family, cooking, etc. I don't know please comment some opinions.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Nothing wrong with it at all. I want the same, but I choose to go through college and work first to get enough money to help contribute in the household and before I have children. I would love to become a stay at home mom/wife to raise the children, do housekeeping, and cook and clean. Sounds super fun, I get to be fully involved within my children’s lives and keep the house in order😁.


Finances are important for this role. You either need to have a decent amount of money saved to help contribute or if you have a husband that is willing to take care of everything, you’re set.
There’s one worry: Divorce. If I’m not mistaken, you will probably be entitled to alimony until you are able to get financially situated on your own. Sometimes that doesn’t always work out. However, divorce leaves you in an incredibly vulnerable spot. It is always good to have a back up plan. That’s just a small glimpse of the reality of being a housewife/stay at home mom.

[Subarugirl]

It is odd that you’re going to college if you just want to be a stay at home wife

[Fwcheerios]

I don’t think it’s odd considering that I cannot predict the future. If I am not blessed to have a husband who can provide for me and his family, I will have an education to fall back on. And what if I leave my husband or he leaves me? I don’t want to feel trapped like many women do due to the fact that they didn’t have an education before making the decision of having a man to provide for them.

[Tyrael]

Women have been lied to about the importance of careers and they've bought into it. Staying at home and taking care of your family is one of the most important jobs you could have. They say women fought hard, and for what, to get to do what men do? How is it a victory to slave away working (almost always for men) and potentially sacrificing the well-being of your family?

The real victory for women is that they now have the choice to go down a career path, or not. Choosing not to dedicate yourself to a career is not letting women down, it's simply exercising your right to choose.

[alance99]

I wouldn't mind at all if my wife wants to stay at home

[alance99]

Thanks for MHO 🙂

[Ekke118]

Your family's gut reaction says a lot about them. Talk to them after a while passes. Hopefully they can realize there's nothing wrong with this desire; it would mean they are reasonable people who can reason out when they are wrong. I think they would be being hypocritical in remaining stubborn trying to supress you.

Are they envious that you'll probably both receive a happier and safer life? A girl with these wishes is also more appealing to many men, including myself. Maybe their reaction really is envy.

[HighValue]

Nothing wrong with what you want.
If a woman wanted a family and wanted to work though, being a teacher would be ideal since you would be off work when they are out of school. Maybe don't work until all of your kids are school age.
If the couple is happy with the woman staying home and not working, there is nothing wrong with that. Just pay off your student loans before quitting if you had to take out some to not burden your future SO with that.

[Fwcheerios]

I have zero student loans 😊 thank you for your advice

[MoodyJazz]

No, definitely not. There is a lot more to being a housewife than most men/career gals think. If you have high standards (like my mother), it's more stressful than having an office job. Especially if you have kids. You don't learn stuff just to get a job - that would be pathetic and tedious. You learn, so you become a better person. If you have the time and want to, you can always write a book while being a housewife.

Personally, I would want to have a career in research in science, but I love the housewifey aspects of being a woman. I love cooking, cleaning, organising, and often thought about how I'm gonna raise my future kids into brilliant human beings.

[Grond21]

Your desire is a very good one. If feminists were being true feminist and they would embrace women who wanted to work and also embrace women who wanted to stay at home. Unfortunately that isn't the case. Instead of valuing women for their many gifts, including the greatest gift of all which is to raise a new generation, they are treating women as if the best thing she can do is become some corporate slave and give all of her time and money and youth to some bureaucratic machine.

Personally, I would love a stay-at-home wife. It's what my mom did, it's what my sister did, and two sisters-in-law. All of them are extremely happy, they have a rich family life, and they are contributing a great deal to those around them.

[TheFlak38]

What I like about this question is all the answers and how positive they are. Not saying that I disagree with that. Just imagine the same question with the genders reversed. A man saying that that wants a stay at home wife while he is working to provide for both. Then all hell breaks loose. When a woman expresses her ideal lifestyle she gets support from everybody. "you go girl! whatever you want in your life you deserve it!"
When a man dares to make a wish in his life he's a disgusting selfish, sexist pig and perpetuates the patriarchy.

[loveslongnails]

Since when did raising a family, and WANTING to raise a family, become a slap in the face to women's progress? Motherhood is a noble thing, as is being able to have a one income provider these days. You're not lazy or stupid because you choose to be at home and give your kids the attention they need, especially in the first 5 years. That's a much more difficult job than going to work, often times.

Tell your family it's your life, your choice, and giving your kids a stay at home mother when they need it most is a God-send. You'll have plenty of time to take a part-time job if you like once the kids are in school all day, or once they're grown. Screw your family's ideas.

[Subarugirl]

Well there is a difference between being a stay at home mother and stay at home wife.

[loveslongnails]

@Subarugirl The girl in question had mentioned family and bringing up kids, so I was presuming she meant a stay at home mom.

[kyliesz]

Thats great that you want to do that which you totally can!! The only thing that came to my mind is i dont know if its a good idea to relay on someone that much even if its your partner. I dont think i can ever 100% trust someone and i like to be prepared for the worst and be able to carry my self independently

[kyleelyn199723]

Your family of women is just being prideful. They obviously find work to be their pride and joy, but if we all had the choice and comfort ability not to work, then we wouldn’t work. There’s tons of women that wish they could be stay at home mothers just like you so they can spend their life not missing any moment of their kids life

[TonyMetal___86]

Wise answer as always 😌

[Little_Bumblebee]

No, as long as that is what you want and your possible future partner is able to and wants to provide.

I do think it's worth thinking thoroughly about, it does make you stand in a vulnerable position should you end up leaving him.
And I can see it is important to have some ground rules down for it to work and such.

But the women have fought for the oportunity to CHOOSE to work or stay at home.

[TonyMetal___86]

Personally i'll never marry a girl who doesn't adores becoming a housewife after marriage, i see that your a wise lady who likes to give and receive love and care...
Only a wise lady and a smart society will realize how important it is for a wife to stay at home and does her basic role cause it's priceless and makes the family happy and relaxed...

I admire and appreciate every devoted housewife cause they are from gold!

[Danny_dan92]

Kind of an un common thing these days tbh,


More women are becoming more independent by going to college and getting degrees.


Which is smart tbh. Cause I know women that ended up not getting a degree, then they marry a guy, have kids with them. Only to get cheated on and now they have no choice but to stay with the dude just so they have a roof over their heads but also hate their lives

[RedStiletto88]

I don’t think there is anything wrong with being a stay at home wife. As women we should be able to choose our own lives without anyone judging but it happens anyway. Live your life your way !

[Weirdwizardz]

It's not wrong. As long as you and your husband are ok with that, I don't see any problems with it. I want to be a stay at home wife one of these days too.

[Anonymous]

Now there are so many work from home jobs you can probably do both but yeah, staying home to raise your kids is totally cool. You’re not bring down womankind by being a SAH mom. Your education is not a waste either. You never know when you might have to fall back on it (divorce, husband loses job)

[Apple1996]

Nothing wrong with it. I'm a stay at home mom and I love being able to care for my kids and husband.

[Cubus]

God bless you and your kids :)

[Apple1996]

@Cubus thank you

[Cubus]

You're welcome.

[TheSpaceGnome]

People who have kids need to have at least 1 parent stay at home, otherwise the kids don't get properly cared for/raised. 2 incomes is nice, but if you want both, just work from home.

[pup4life]

I personally don’t think anything’s wrong with staying home with the family! As long has it’s something you want and ur not forced to

[jahaims]

If you are going to have kids it makes sense to stay at home until they are school age. Other than that I think it sounds lazy to be a stay at home wife with no kids.

[Cubus]

If it's something that would make you feel happy and comfortable, then of course it's nothing bad. If your heart tells you, that that would be the most fulfilling for you, then follow it.

[Msputiton]

Nothing wrong with it, if both people involved agree and can afford it.