I'm still traumatized from being cut out of a close friend group several years ago. How do I move past this?

I know this isn't therapy, but I thought maybe someone here could offer some insight or something.

I had these friends several years ago. We were BEST friends and I really thought we would be friends forever. I always kind of struggled to feel like I belonged, so finding a group where I felt supported really meant a lot to me. For a while, we were inseparable and constantly sleeping over at each others houses.

One of the women in the group (and one of the ones I was closest with) eventually started acting weird towards me. Making cutting, hurtful remarks and genuinely hurting my feelings. One time she admitted that she was worried her boyfriend would like me or something and that I would steal him (I would literally never do this, I never even really talked to him that much). I knew she was jealous of me and it made me feel terrible. I didn't know what I could have done to cause that. I found myself shrinking around her, trying to act small, but she would just make more hurtful comments. Eventually, I started cancelling plans with the group but she took it personally when I missed her birthday dinner. She confronted me about missing the dinner, and I finally told her I thought we should see each other less.

She turned the group against me, including another woman who I was very close with. To this day, I wonder if she lied or something, because they iced me out HARD. It was really painful. When I would try to reach out to any of them, they would ghost me and ignore me, but I knew they were hanging out from social media.

All this time, I think I've been feeling traumatized because I kind of took it to mean something was wrong with me. After being treated so badly by her, all my friends began treating ME like I was the one who'd done something wrong.

Now I struggle to make friends. I'm avoidant, I don't want to get in anyones way or cause jealousy. I feel like people hate me if I show who I am. I really think this traumatized me.

Does anyone have advice?
I'm still traumatized from being cut out of a close friend group several years ago. How do I move past this?
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