Hi, I am 18 years old I have a strong feeling that my mom is a toxic person. in 2021 my mom have been acting very toxic to me every since my sister went to collage, she keep telling me "I am here for my sister" every own and than.(no, she doesn't mean like a sibling) to me it sounds like am my sister slave or maid, and that's the only reason I am live. let me explain why I believe so 1.) she makes me do MOST of the choices 2.) call me MORE than my sister (, even though my sister is in the SAME room as her) 3.) every time my sister doesn't do her chores I have to do them or help her with them, but I don't get help. 4.) they both always team up against me in arguments. (Even went they are wrong) 5.) my mom would tell my sister to do something forget (because my sister will never respond to her) she calls me multiple times, or bang on my door to wake me up after she told my sister to do it. even to this day she have been doing this!!! Am trying to find a job to do online and make money so I can move out. this have destroying my mental health, and even made me have more anxiety. I will be happier one day, just not in this house.
Yeah I wouldve left on my birthday. She is toxic because she isn't treating you guys fairly, she lets one get away but the other doesn't and thats crazy. You are not here for your sister, your sister has a mother to take care of her. I dont know how you dont have the same animosity towards your sister because both she and the mother should get the same energy. I honestly would get my life fixed up and move, never speaking to them again. However I wouldn't block them on my socials because it would be their to test them.
Look for companies that would allow you to do apprenticeship wear they pay for your college while you work for them. Try copywriting as a passive income look at fiverr and do some online surveys but make sure to reseach whether they are legit or not.
Good luck sis.
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7 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Do you have any companies by any chance? If not it's ok
Hmmm the best I can tell you is that there is the apprentice. gov site and the indeed website that is there when you search "online apprenticeship programs" on google
To me it doesn’t sound like she is the most toxic mom out there but I’m sure she has her faults. She may find it easier to get you to do stuff and that’s why she asks you more. Have you ever tried to talk to her about that? If not try to have a talk with her when you aren’t angry.
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1 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Well I don't have time for both clothes and dishes along with other chores in the house, my sister is lazy and need to help around. i wake up early than her just to go to school. since she is in collage she is at home all day, everyday which means she can at any time.
Your mother sees your sister as an adult, she is going to college. As the saying goes shit runs downhill which means the younger sibling is going to have to have more responsibility. Is it fair, probably not. Here's your options, get a job and move out but otherwise you live under their roof, you have to play by their rule
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23 Reply
Asker
+1 y
My sister doesn't have a job, so you mean to tell me just because my sister is in collage means nothing gets done in the house?
I don't know, I don't know your mother. Ask her. What happens if you rebel? Why does she get to sit on her ass while I have to do all this work. She doesn't do her chores, she doesn't have a job. Why are you treating me like Cinderella, making me stay at home while she goes to the ball blah blah blah
by the way she is only 19 only one year apart what's the difference? How does the younger one gets more responsibility than the other it's not fair and you know that. its like only getting 50% in a relationship.
I did, already and she just tells me am made for my sister. which is bullshit am more than that. i have respect for my mother that's why I don't talk to her crazy, I say it in the most respectful way. she just doesn't care.
Here's how I see it, I have respect for my mother as well but if she's going to disrespect me by telling me that I'm going to be a maid for my sibling, I'm being disrespected. I would tell her that I will clean on the house when she gets off her ass and cleans. I'm not going to clean up after her. She is a woman, 1-year-older than me and she can take care of herself
I tried, but she can never give me an answer or will tell at me for even asking and call it "disrespect" just for asking. i told my dad he said he will talk to her, but I know it's not going to work.
Am just sick of being like this like a cry sone nights softy so my mom doesn't hear me so she doesn't say "stop crying or I will give you something to cry about" like am sick of this shit, I don't care about doing chores, but if I have to be a maid most times I feel so drained.
I don't know where you live, most places at the age of 18 you are considered an adult and you can leave. I'm guessing you're dependent upon your parents money so you're stuck there unless you want to do something about it.
Am trying to find a job I can do at home. i don't have a car because my mom doesn't want to take me driving, meaning I can't get a license also means I can't get a bank account.
I can't get a job if I do she is going to want my money, and I need to pay for collage so I am trying to apply for grants and scholarships. i have a computer but doesn't a job need a bank account to store money? my told me her mother took her money went she got a job so she is going to do to me. she even told me she got her ass whooped went the house wasn't clean she will get whooped if her sister didn't do the chores. so she told me I had to the chores even went it's unfair. my mom is the oldest and my sister is the oldest so I think she is doing it to me just because of her past.
I don't know, about to checking account, if they require direct deposit then yes you would have to have a checking account. If you could talk you're employer into paying you cash
I honestly don't understand your culture, if I go work, that money is mine. Now if my family was needy, I would definitely contribute but my family would have never taken my money
Am going to try to start a econ business license like an online store. my boyfriend said he would help me, but I don't want my mom to know about the business for obvious reasons. its going to be tricky, but I wanna try it. i want to start a business but my mom doesn't support it (obviously). gonna take a risk (I have nothing to lose) hopefully this can be hidden
I was thinking something simple until I make my own money. i named it tinkys but I can't do clothes but I wanted to make something unique, but I don't really have any ideas
The great thing about being 18 is that you're legally allowed to move out on your own. If it's so bad then move and if you don't want to move then it must not be so bad.
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2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I can't move I already discuss this, I can't because I don't have a car. my mom isn't letting me get a car
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