If you had a houseguest who was always rude to you and criticizing you, would you make them leave, even if they had nowhere else to go?

[Flower7]

I’d make them leave.

I’d let them stay.

[GingerGuy]

Yes, you were nice enough to let them into your home and that's how they show their appreciation, by being disrespectful? Chances are someone like that is using you also. Or they are just really really stupid.

[AlwaysBelieving]

Make them leave. I have no room for negativity in my life.

[Bricealan]

FLOWER, I did JUST THAT, soon after I moved to California. I should have known better anyway, since the girl, (wife) was an asshole of the first degree to her husband even before they got married and ridiculed him shamelessly in front of others at a Halloween party, I attended with them.

Knowing that full well, beforehand, I invited them out here to stay with me. I only had a one bedroom, apartment and rented a roll-away bed for them and let them use my car after taking me to work and picking me up afterward.

She, being true to form, smarted off to me several times while we were out sightseeing. The following morning, Bob, her husband taking me to work, I told him that they had to leave since I would not tolerate any more of Sue's smart mouth, and I did not give a dam where they went. He understood, I'm sure, since she was a shit head to him, always and he was her door mat.

The went to Fullerton, and stayed with someone else, (unannounced, I'm sure) The next time, I was in Akron, (home) I saw her and never mentioned it.

They divorced, sometime later.

Sad to say a real-life story but could not and would not tolerate her bullshit.

Bruce

[Flower7]

Interesting that you went through the same thing! And yes, there usually are signs beforehand that the person is a jerk. Unfortunately, I ignored quite a few red flags myself!

[hahahmm]

Always? It would not take always. It only takes one time.

Also... I've found in life that people like you describe are con artist types. They can say they're broke & have nowhere to go but usually it's a lie. They will have enough cash for shelter/hotel but say they don't. I believe in "actions have consequences". If you choose to be rude then you need to deal with the consequences. It's not my problem if it's inconvenient for you.

[hahahmm]

Oh, and some people learn from their mistakes so you're doing them a favor by showing them what it costs to behave poorly. They will be better to somebody else in the future. But even if they don't learn, it's less drama and retiredness in your life.

[Flower7]

When asking the person to leave, would you explain that it was because of their behavior? Or would you not bother getting into that?

[hahahmm]

Absolutely, I would tell them why but I would limit it to as few words as possible and no matter how hard they try to turn it into a discussion or debate, I wouldn't get into an argument/debate. See, when you argue it's really them trying to negotiate and change your mind. No point to that. The problem you have is that if this guest has been at your place more than a day they probably have legal protection that they can claim you can't kick them out for a month and you need to give them legal notice. I guess nice people would handle it the legal way. Me, I would just say, 'okay'... switch off the power, Internet and tell them I didn't pay the bills. I'd empt the fridge & pantry out. Hell, I would turn off the heat/ac too: I didn't pay the bills. They would be running out the door within an hour.

[hahahmm]

And if they have a key to your place, get the locks changed 1 second after they leave. Hopefully you have a friend who can change the locks for you. It's dirt cheap when you do it yourself.

[hahahmm]

Myself I have locks that can be re-keyed in a second. Use those and you don't even change the lock. You just change the keys yourself.

[Flower7]

This is actually about a past situation. It happened last year with a friend. She was always rude so I asked her to leave. I made up an excuse though because as you mentioned, I didn’t want to get into a “debate” situation. I just keep feeling guilty about it and have been wondering if I handled it right.

[Flower7]

I hate lying to people, but in this case, I felt pushed to that point.

[gfedcba]

I would set specific rules which are extremely objectively clear, ensure they agree to understand (i. e. determine if clarification/elaboration is necessary to make rules clearer to eliminate misunderstanding), then if they break these rules, they are responsible, as their expectations were clearly outlined, that way they break the agreement, to which you were as fair & objective as possible, and you're not the "bad" one who unwarranted threw them out for something beyond their understanding/control.

[honeynut-scenarios]

You shouldn’t have to deal with this disrespect in your own home. I just finished watching the series, “Worst roommate ever,” and if I were you, I’d get them out as soon as possible. You can simply say “this isn’t working out” and politely give them a deadline.

[Guy13]

YEP, after I recorded enough to Facebook and Instagram…. Change my parking garage rental space as well as locks plus one new one…Security Sign in yard or at elevator as one Exits…

I’ve seen, “Smile, I got you now” crochet and drilled unto Structure itself.

OR

DO LIKE San Francisco and pay tent 🏕 ⛺️ people to move out of City into Suburbs…

[Sonorous]

In a heartbeat. People must understand that certain behaviors have unfavorable consequences when not avoided. And many may not really understand unless they are given the opportunity to learn through life experience.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Are we talking a friend or close family? There are different levels of acceptability for me!

[Flower7]

“ Friend”.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Ah well, I'd give them one warning. Just one. If they persisted, the next time their bags would be packed and waiting for them in a taxi!

[Daniela1982]

I would ask them why they are being condescending to their host. That might set them straight. If not tell them to. . .

[DonkeyDan]

If they can't be courteous to me in my home, why should I be courteous to them. I'd give them a week to find somewhere then the locks are getting changed.

[Daniela1982]

You are more charitable than I would be.

[DonkeyDan]

@Daniela1982
Well I guess if they are a guest in my home they must nean something to me in the first place, I can't in good conscience just throw them out onto the street.

[Fireguy17]

it kind of depends on how well I know them, and what their situation is.
Chances are I would talk to them about their behavior, and if it continued then they would be asked to leave at a certain date.

[HighlyVolatile]

Yes, maybe not immediately but I might give them a week or two notice so that they can start getting ready. I'm not going to remain a gracious host for someone who refuses to be a gracious guest.

[DanaeAdam5]

Absolutely. If you're rude to me I have no reason to be nice to you. "Actions speak louder than words" my ass, if someone is offering you hospitality the least you can do is be polite with them.

[Agape93]

Yeap absolutely. You want a place to stay? You follow my rules and show respect or you can walk your ass back to town and hope you can find somewhere to stay.

[DaveToo]

Mother-in-law? Not all of them are nasty but sometimes they can be.

[Flower7]

Lol…no, this experience was with someone who I considered to be a friend.

[Biancam13]

If they were in danger I'd let them stay. But if they could go somewhere else that's safe, they would have to leave.

[Kiss_Me]

If you are living with someone, you WILL respect them and their house. If not, it is time to hit the streets.

[Sour-rose]

Bish, if this is my house, you bet yo ass you better learn some respect or gtfo. Don't have time to be playing this game to not hurt feelings.

[Staximus]

If they act like they don't want you around, make you feel unwelcome or uncomfortable in your own home, or don't appreciate your hospitality, then tell them it's time for them to find somewhere else to go.

[exitseven]

I have had this happen to me. I just sucked it up and let them stay. Then had a party once they were gone.

[Desconhecida]

First, I'd put them in their place by demanding respect and giving conditions for them to be in my house. If nothing worked, then yes, I'd totally kick them out.

[dustybiker]

Respect is free. If they can’t handle that basic behavior they need to find somewhere else.

[AwesomeCookie]

I'd make my own kids leave so a house guest ain't got nothing on me

[Amy10223]

It depends on who it was. If it was family, I’d let them stay.

[spartan55]

That's like 'being a good houseguest 101', always be deferential, and grateful.

[20yearsolder]

Absolutely, they would learn really fast that you don't talk shit to your host.

[Anonymous]

Their situation must not be that dire if they haven’t learned humility yet.

[Flower7]

Very good point!

[hahahmm]

ikr. The problem with some people is they worry more about the other person than that person worries about themselves.

[RobT312]

The least they could do is respect me given my generosity... I’d ask them to leave

[Guardian45]

I would Q why my houseguest is rude to me, and if they appreciated staying at my place? That should straighten them out. Otherwise, you're free to leave... NOW!

[Drumlin2001]

They'd be asked to leave. Not having that negativity around my kids

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

As soon as they were able to find shelter I would make them leave

[Godsvengeance]

Definitely kick them out. They are entitled to your space but you are entitled to demand respect in your own home

[Jupiter1]

I'd respect my host if I was a house guest. If the tables were turned around, I'll kick the fool's ass outta my home.

[Nigjt]

I'd make them leave how fast depends on how much they where being rude.
I'd try to at lest give them a nuff time to do so.
God Bless

[douride2]

Your out & it's not my problem you have no where to go.

[BobbyC65]

There's the door don't let it hit ya on your way out.

[RebeccaBI2000]

They would be out. I would give them the address to the closest hotel.

[driven159]

they have a choice to be a moron or not they are living in your house they should be kissing your ass kick their unappreciative dumb ass out

[EaterPeter]

I wish I make them leave I find incapable of doing so. I did that with person I cared most about and now I don't feel I have it in me any more.

[EaterPeter]

Thanks for like!

[Bubbles16]

I'd tell them to get out of my house because no one disrespects me!!

[Honesttguy]

Why are they there in first place? How did this even happened?

[IsoUser]

To be perfectly honest he or she would be kicked to the curb in a literal Heartbeat. 😉😁😷

[TrillXHippy]

Why wouldn’t I make them leave? They can go do that elsewhere

[Shy_Steve]

I would probably want to make them leave but I would most likely let them Stay.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Flower7 Omg, you STILL haven't kicked her out? It's been, what, like a year?

[Flower7]

I did, many months ago. But I still keep feeling guilty about putting her into a bad situation. So I’m wondering whether I handled it right or not.

[Jamie05rhs]

Trust me, you did the right thing.

[Angeliki1996]

I be like tonight you can get your sh*t get out. Or you find your things all over the lawn.

[ChiTown33]

Are they a relation to me? And how long are they staying? I would tolerate them for a little bit.

[FreyaRed]

I would insist they leave

[TyLeeAndPink]

I’d certainly threaten to.

[Playboy2424]

Yes Queen... I don't hold headache.

[clampfan101]

I’m sure they could find a couch somewhere else.

[jahaims]

They wouldn't be a house guest

[TallAnon]

Why would I let them stay to begin with, lol

[Iron_Man]

No I won’t

[Flower7]

So you mean you would let the person continue to stay in your house?

[Iron_Man]

For a while

[Xtendable]

I voted b, but it would be conditional

[Gwenhwyfar]

Yes.

[TacosRAwesome]

Make them leave.

[Hulk30]

because right is right

[clemdenim]

one warning