Should I have moved on already from my cousins death after a year?

On the 9th it will be a year. He died in his early 30s due to unusual circumstances and I'm not gonna go into details as I've already had defend the harsh truth too many times to people who don't believe me and just think im anti Vax with a political agenda.

He was due to be married that year but it kept being cancelled due to covid. he has a beautiful little boy who turned 3 the week after his death. My cusion loved everyone in his life, he was a
loveable rogue is the best way to describe him. He'd never fail at making you laugh and he was the friendliest guy you'd had ever met. He'd always make sure everyone was included and didn't feel left out.

I can't bring myself to look at his son because he looks so much like him and it breaks my heart he's never gonna see what a great man his dad was and not know how much he loved him and loved being a dad. The day he was born my cusion was made the happiest man alive.

Him and the woman he was supposed to marry loved each other like crazy too. You'd never seen two people more in love and she is the loveliest, sweetest girl and she doesn't deserve to have to go through what she has. She lost the love of her life and my heart breaks for her. Everytime even now I think about her pain, I cry. It makes me think if it was my boyfriend I'd be broken so I can't imagine how must she carry on. At the same time I'm so proud of her and she's a amazing mother to there son.

Last time I saw him was before covid had even happened at the hen do. We all had so much fun and took so many photos and made some great memories but now I look back at that day it's just a painful reminder of what happened.

I couldn't even go to say goodbye yet number 10 were partying it up. I'm so angry. His death should have never happened that's the hardest part
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Everytime I bring him up people go quiet and try to avoid the conversation which I can understand. Whenever I talk about it with my stisters we cry
Should I have moved on already from my cousins death after a year?
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