Family & Friends

Will mothers ever learn?

My mom and I have an okay relationship. She was a young athlete/model and till this very day she has a great physique. Unfortunately she didn't lead a healthy lifestyle for the majority of my childhood, we'd eat fast food or out almost everyday and obviously as a result I grew up overweight and due to a myriad of things I had a really unhealthy relationship with food. In my early teens, she went back on a healthy lifestyle and got back into great shape. After many toxic cycles of gaining and losing weight and binging on food then barely eating for a few months to lose weight, this past year I decided to shut out everyone and started to lose weight at my own pace and doing what works for ME. rewiring my relationship with food and it's the proudest i've been of my progress and my body in a long time. I've always hated my body and a lot of it has stemmed from my mothers comments. I have keratosis pilirasis, I had acne, cellulite, stretch marks and dry skin.. all things I remembered hearing her critique on other people and call ugly. Before I knew what KP was she'd blame me and call my skin ugly when I had a flare ups in my teens. When I started to notice these flaws on myself I saw ugly as well, because that's what was ingrained in my brain since childhood.. I've gained some confidence over the years but I still hide my body around her because I feel ugly and she'll remind me of my flaws. If I wear shorts around her she'll point out how I should do more leg workouts so that my legs look toned and will compare it to her leg muscles then send me videos of some workout. I have more or less 20lbs left to be at a healthy weight for my height so I understand she thinks it's coming from a place of advice and love but it's really hurtful.. and triggers my self esteem. Because the small changes and progess I make are over shadowed by her pointing out a flaw that I've been working on and improving and it's a reminder me of how far i still am from my goals.
Will mothers ever learn?
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