Why do several different people who I just met feel the need to tell me their deepest, darkest shit?

[LovelyBones13]

So since I was 17, whenever I would meet new people and start a conversation they would tell me about their deepest/darkest shit rightaway.

Some examples:
17 year old me with my first job as a checkout girl at a supermarket. In the breakroom I ask a slightly older coworker what her hobbies are outisde of work. She tells me she fled to the other side of the country, becauae her parents stole all her money and that she now has no time for hobbies. I did not even know her name yet.

When I met some friends of my ex boy friend a few years ago at a house party, I introduced myself to each of them and went by to each of them to get to know them a bit later. They all told me different stories about their very disturbing nightmares, suicidal tendicies, eating disorders and overall depression. I never met any of those people and my ex boyfriend also did not know any of his friends struggled so much.

I get along really well with one of my current coworkers. We both love the same stupud TV competition (the masked singer), so I invited her to come watch it at my house. During the first commercial break, I wanted to get some snacks and she decides to tell me how she lost her virginity: by being raped by the boyfriend of her best friend. She went in great detail about how he pulled her of the bed, put her on the floor and how he held her etc. She got so graphic, I was baffeled and wanted to kick her out but felt mostly bad for her. I never invited her again to my house, since I felt extremly unconfortable.

There are many more similar situations with lots of different people, but this is the gist. It always comes straight out of the blue to me. I also try to express in a polite way that I do not feel comfortable talking about such heavy subjects, but some people just keep going. I never talk about my heavy shit at all with strangers like that, so I am very confused why so many basicly strangers feel the need to vent like that to me.

[VIVANT]

I didn’t find it odd people do this bc they do it with me all the time since I was a child but I find it really f’ed up they continue after you say you are not comfortable. It’s ok to walk away when people do this. You can first say NO assertively instead of “not feeling comfortable” bc they may see this as just you’re feelings will change?…!! lol I don't know it’s so messed up 🤦🏻‍♀️ But obviously they are crossing a boundary —it’s like you’re a verbal dumping bag. Just walk if they can’t stop. There no excuse for this. Sorry 😐

[Jaximus-Lion]

I can say that i feel related to this. I asked them why are they telling me this, why are they yrusting me? Most of them answer with i am kind, make them feel relaxed which leads to trust. I have not been in the same situation like when meeting prople for the first time, but after a while. Then you have those whom talk about their deeppest and darkest with everyone thinking this is just social. When i started hearing people telling me about their deeppest thoughts! I was not ready and it was all new for me but few years, i got used to it

[Anonymous]

Some people are just like that and have no filters. My step father is like that. Tells random strangers all about our lives. Drives me and my mother nuts! But he loves to talk and just the way he is. Doesn't see anything wrong with it.

I'm always amazed though... then people wonder why bad things happen to them like getting robbed, etc. Probably one of these people that do that lol. Give them all the information they need to do it.

[OlderAndWiser]

Some people just have a persona that others perceive to be accepting, non-judgmental, and caring, and that makes them easy to talk to, easy to disclose embarrassing secrets. Are you one of those easy-to-talk-to people?

[VIVANT]

Sounds like she really is not since she is feeling uncomfortable and even tells them so … maybe she appears accepting but once so worn says I’m not comfortable you gotta see they are not ok with it. I don't know what compels people to keep going 🤯

[Lliam]

It's weird that people have that stuff on their minds and feel the need to dump it on virtual strangers. They need counseling.
Why would they even bring it up, and what are you even supposed to do with that information?

[TommyMountainFigure]

You've probably got that certain type of demeanour that people trust. I'm told I have that too, and yes people tell me their life stories as well.

[VIVANT]

Right same for me happens spot. Thing is she’s literally telling them she does not want to hear it makes it super odd no?

[TommyMountainFigure]

@VIVANT Normally I would agree, but I've made I've made jokes about not wanting them to tell me before too... for example "Oh gawd, here comes the life story" But because I'm laughing when I say it, they seem all the more determined..

[TommyMountainFigure]

minus one "I've made"

[Aakash_Hangargi]

This happens to me lol but i am a shallow person to be honest i choose to listen to some but i should feel the connection.

Not gonna lie sometimes i seek them out to help or understand but it's purely instinctual

[Fireguy17]

Are you a bartender, or look like one, or a hairdresser, manicurist?
Other than you look or act like a kind person.

[LovelyBones13]

I am currently work for the ministry of finance as a tax fraud investigator/inspector

[Fireguy17]

Huh, you must just have an understanding look.

[DJB72]

Too many people over-share. It tends to be people who don't have any significant connection with another human

[In_Trance]

It could be you in the sense that maybe they feel your trustworthy in a good listener.
It could be them in the sense that they're so desperate for someone to listen they'll tell anyone around and it just happened to be you

[Andres77]

My wife is in the same boat.

[KatherineJ]

I think it happens if people trust you.

[Guardian45]

You have a warm inviting trusting air about you

[TrillXHippy]

I’m not sure, that’s odd

[flirtatiousgirl]

They're fucking brain

[jimmy2]

Wow that odd