Should I take in my kids who I really don’t know?

[sparkybaby]

Both my kids now are in their late 20s. Long story short.. I gave up my kids for adoption to give them a better life. They found me some how and we all started talking. I don’t know them well and they both asked me to help them relocate so they can start over. They stayed with me for 3 months until they found a place of their own. While They were here they didn’t cook, clean, or even save any money to put down on a place. They didn’t even put effort into finding a place to live. They basically took my kindness for granted. My oldest has depression and is on ODSP and takes out loans and my youngest is an alcoholic. All they do now is fight in there new place. My youngest wants my oldest to stay with me. Is it my responsibility to take in my oldest who has depression and won’t help himself? I don’t want anyone living with me. I don’t know these people. Am I being selfish?

[Nonameee9]

That’s very selfish of you to say considering YOU put THEM up for adoption. They reached out wanting a relationship with their biological mother, if you wasn’t comfortable you should have never accepted them getting in contact with you, but you did and NOW your sitting on here, a website, basically bashing your own children. And calling them “these people” as if they are trash or something.. you should be ashamed of yourself!

[Nonameee9]

Edit: even if they are adults, we all fall on hard times & it’s no excuse to treat them like that, if anything you should be making up for lost time.

[kylee2437]

They are both adults, it is not your responsibility to help them out. Just because you chose to do what’s best for yourself a long time ago, doesn’t mean they sure be using that as a crutch to guilt you into helping them because they don’t want to help themselves first. I’m very sorry you need to go through this. I’d minimize the help you choose to give them, because it seems to me they are only guilt tripping you

[macjets007]

No you're not being selfish. You must do what is best for you! I often try to please everyone and realized a year ago that I have to prioritize myself. Do what makes you happy and content.

[slatyb]

Take them in? They are adults. Why would they need you to take them in?