Is it really shocking to find out someone you thought hated you actually always liked you?

[Anonymous]

Over time I grew out of the ''pretending to hate him and tease him'' stage and he always had his group of friends too. Then he had an ongoing issue and I was secretly helping him.

He found out eventually (both that I was the anonymous helper and my private journal revealing how I've always pinned over him) and seemed shocked. His words were an ''I don't know what to think. I'm confused. Speechless. Nothing makes sense. I really need to think and get to know you again, start all over.''

He seemed very surprised upon finding out, as if someone hit him with a bucket of cold water. Is this really as shocking as he made it out to be?

[Anonymous]

I think it is shocking because you only ever hear about that through the grapevine or see it on tv. In real life it’s actually kind of silly and toxic to be mean to someone just because you won’t confess your feelings. That’s putting them through emotional trauma simply because you can’t control your emotions and verbally define them, which is really unfair to them.

[Asker]

He's still processing the information and isn't acceping nor rejecting me. He's still puzzled. We were beginning to get along in 10th grade but just as acquaintance/friendly level; nothing compared to 5th to 9th grade, where I had been mean so many times to him (though less meaner in 9th grade).

[Asker]

He isn't giving me an answer yet... he still needs time and to think about it.

[Opinion Owner]

You may be misinterpreting what I’m trying to say. My point here isn’t to say that he’s not processing the romantic aspect of the information, or that he’s made any kind of decision (at least not to your knowledge). What I’m saying is that I do think he may be shocked, because if you’ve been mean towards him or gave the impression that you “hate” him, then of course it’s surprising to find out you’re actually into him. I was also stating how your actions could be hurtful. On side note, that could make it hard for him to find the romance in this, because it’s hard to process meanness that was a disguise for love.