Would you rather your child was bullied, or was a bully?

[wittymilf]

Bullied

A bully

Don’t pick this one if you don’t yet have children just use your imagination muppet

[RosieMelts]

I voted the wrong one lol.

I strongly oppose bullying, so I would’ve wanted my child to be bullied because I know how to handle bullies and explain, and instill proper confidence and defense techniques to combat the traditional, and sometimes, extreme bullies.

Bullies were no threat to me as a kid, and nothing but an adrenaline rush if I saw them speak to me, in a way as kind of considering if I could be a target for hazing etc. as I got older, I told my friends “Let me see a bully right now. I want to see someone just try and bully me, and I will show this school how to handle a bully once and for all.”

I wanted to invite any ‘stupidity’ to my arena, to make a lesson out of it so other students at my school would not ever stay quieted or oppressed. That is NEVER an option.

However… I think it would be extremely painful for me as a parent to hear even one story from my kid, about them being bullied, which would lead me to teach them about how to effectively handle those bullies.

Because of this I’d change my answer to my kid being the bully, so that I can simply nip their bad habit in the butt. Tell them NO, and give them some quality time and attention.. throw them up in the woods on some camping trip lol

If my kid’s bullying tendencies were from simply being “spoiled,” I’d have to instill some kind of fear/respect into my kid and establish myself as alpha for that time- telling them I don’t want to hear any bullying complaints from school, and I will have that WHOLE school supervise you if you try to get away with even the slightest *wrong,* and then you will have MAJOR consequences at home. That would mean lack of freedom in school, and lack of pleasure at home. Then I’d tell them to think about what they’d want lol

Ofc in either situation, I’d always ask and try to figure out what they were thinking, and assess my behavior with them at home and their interactions with others, to gage what was causing their actions/reactions.

[Makeushiver]

Both though not as bad as it can get.. I don't know what satanic forces are unleashed one kids who just 1 year ago. To try to discover who you are sexually, intellectually, emotionally at the same time as your body's releasing hormones that makes you incapable of thinking about anything beside sex, should they, will they, should I make sure I take etc. At the same time kids get longer and wider faster than there ability to hang on to a self with integrity. Add the nastiness from peer pressure like alcohol. It's the drub of choice because it briefly shouts the goddamn yelling going on in their head. O yeah, M0om and Dad are divorcing re-marrying. etc. when starting middle and high school. They should perform exorcisms as a matter of routine at every stage where change happens tepidly. Adolescents are given the hardest job to figure out. You go from a kid who'll try anything new because it's fun to a teenager who refuses to do anything that can't already do perfectly. As poisonous that bullies can seem at that age- and they are toxic- the far and away correct observation is that eople who domthe bullyong alaot universally have problems at home that s/he wants to talk to someone abopouy but doesn't dar because it will make him look lika pussy. When I was going through a brief period of getting bullied and other incidents with the same person- and other people. I can remember 4 and in each case the bully was getting bullied,, getting emotionally and in many cases physically and/or sexually abused often by someone with a chemical dependency n that was admittedly alcoholics in 3 out of 4 incidents. I hate gratuitous cruelty. The world dishes out enough cruelty. I think anyone adding to the misery or harm to a world that already afflicts a lot should be grounds for immediate execution nut in bullies, addicts , alcoholics and junkies. I think it's abhorrent to inflict any more ugliness. But, walk in their mo7ccasins for a mile and you'll likely find a homee life tht'd dysfunctional to evil

It's relects in

[DaveJord]

Hard to say I don't want my kid to be a bully, but from experience the ones that are bullied tend to suffer from long term impacts of if. Lots of insecurities and mental health issues.

So lots of guys that are bullies tend to grow out of it and have some degree of remorse about it and some are just ass holes for life. But given the options and having to choose between one or the other... I would rather have my kid be a bully because I can parent them out of it more then the ones that are being bullied.

Ideally my kid would be neither, not a bully and not bullied. My kids were not bullied, and they were not bullies... but that was because I mentored them on how to avoid bullies, and how to stand up for themselves. My one daughter had an issue, so I put her in Taekwondo.

Well 6 months later she went all MMA on a bully. Dodged a bullet really because she choked the kid unconscious, with a sleeper hold and then let her go. The kid was out cold for 30 seconds, and all she got was a 3 days of in school detention. But seriously this kid chased my daughter around the school cafeteria with a lunch tray, in front of the faculty and everyone. The bully trapped her in a corner and my kid got her hands on her and put her down so fast nobody could stop it. So she had a clear self defensive case and the school was so worried about a lawsuit for allowing it to get so far out of hand, basically in front of the the whole school, they swept it under the rug.

So my kid was not the bully and not really the bullied... just some one that wasn't going to take any shit and I parented her and mentor her and made sure she learned how to handle herself.

[DizzyDesii]

If they are being bullied, I’m going to give them a pep talk about how to stand their ground without the need to get physical (unless they’re swung at first) and if the bullying continues, I’m pulling them out of school and probably homeschooling them. I may even put them in Karate. Now if my child is the bully, then I’m snapping on that ass when they get home. I’m going to make them apologize in front of the class. And then i’ll probably homeschool them so they won't get picked at for looking like a sucker 😂

[Kaneki05]

The 3rd option just teach your kid how to stop themselves been bullied. It's fairly simple to do, bullies do not bully those they are afraid of so make them afraid they may still try to make words but they wouldn't dare try to get physical. Hell I will do it myself.

[wittymilf]

So really you chose option one, then teach your future children how to deal with bullying

[NathanDavis]

I would go with bullied... because most kids or many kids are bullied (to different levels of wrong of course) and it is somewhat normal, at least here in my region, and then, there would be many fixes and things that can be done to solve the situation and there's also great lessons to learn from it

but if my kid were to be the bully, then that could be a sign of a few things being absolutely wrong, if my kid were to be a little piece of shit, that would mean I RAISED a a little piece of shit, or that I, we, were pieces of shit to our kid and we caused this

[ZackBan]

I would rather he was the bully of bullies.
So a bully but with a moral compass where he doesn't pick on the weak and defenseless

[wittymilf]

I feel like you’d have that kid.

[ZackBan]

Nice of you to think that.
I also kinda was that kid as well 😉

[VIVANT]

A bully of bullies is not a bully that’s the anti - bully

😂 that’s cheating.

[MCheetah]

A bully. That's easier to fix and at least they wouldn't be weak.

Growing up, I was an anti-bully. I beat up bullies instead of being an actual bully. But that's mainly because I had family issues at home and anger problems... Like most bullies!

[Anonymous]

In my case my kid would probably end up the hero for those who aren't willing to stand up for themselves. I've already had to explain to a principal my nieces ability to defend herself, I will admit it was hillarious to find out a third grader had done enough damage to a guy twice her size two grades higher. That he'd need to use some frozen peas for the next week probably. All I'm gonna say is never screw with a girl whos got heels on and has the misfortune of knowing how to throw a proper kick XD.

[Googlemyahoo]

I personally think a certain degree of bullying is necessary for growing up. It eventually teaches kids to stand up for themselves. Todays western society has created a generation of helicopter nanny crybabies who run to tell on other kids for everything.

[ShadezMcgee]

I would rather my kid get bullied as much as I hate it, because then it will teach them lessons about people and the world as a whole. Bullies suck, but when they knock you down, do you get back on your feet with your head held high and hit back, or do you fold?

[RosieMelts]

I know what you mean- want to empower and train up a warrior and survivor in life

BUT

this isn’t like a runt of a litter or survival of the fittest. Some kids who get bullied DO FOLD and that’s that S*****e word. I wouldn’t let my kid get bullied to prove where they fit on the rankings of life. I’d want to place in their hands full power and a fear of hurting the blameless and letting evil rule. With those two in their hands and their intelligence- they’d be quite the outstanding person.

I couldn’t personally let my child experience hard core bullying. Same as watching someone beat up or fight your kid. I don't know maybe it fits in other circumstances, but I’d rather be the teacher to my kid than letting others do that.

#Tough😬🤔

[ShadezMcgee]

@RosieMelts I wouldn't stand idly by to let my kid be bullied. They would be trained to de escalate the situation and only resort to violence if it comes down to it, finish the fight don't start it. I would rather them learn how to fight and stand against punks like that than BE the fucking punk tormenting other kids.

You can't teach the kid about people like this until they really encounter it. That is when you give them the direction to help them combat it. Just telling them about people who are dickheads won't do much. Because all they know is that some people are like that and won't have the skills to deal with it until they actually find themselves in that position.

Back in my day I would punch their lights out. That's how I got mine to stop. Talk did nothing. Grown ups made it worse. They want to know what you are capable of doing on your own and will continue to push you until you hit the snapping point.

[RosieMelts]

Mmm that sounds rough… apologies 🤔

I hope you; them, me; mine, and everyone gets what they deserve 😂

[ShadezMcgee]

@RosieMelts excuse me?

[RosieMelts]

Lmfaooo you’re excused if you wanna be.. I meant deserve as a good thing, but life knows if you need to be humbled too ofc. If my words didn’t make sense that’s just too bad. I’ll sum it up as a good intentioned farewell to you and a general good luck for everyone.

[NewsReader]

Bullied. That means he/she is the victim. I will teach them martial arts and they will flatten the face of their bully just like I did. Stay strong and fight back 💪

[Finchie40]

Neither but I would prefer my kid be the bully then being bullied , usually kids that are bullied end up with low self esteem issues and become scared of the world , where if my. Kid was the bully I could straighten his ass out enough to the point I know he will be ok entering the real world because their are assholes everywhere and knowing my child can stand his ground is better than knowing my kid is a coward and weak

[Apulu_Imback]

I would want my child to be bullied instead. However I would prefer it better if they are bullied but they are savage with their bullies. If not then at least they ain't coward like bullies, they are having a past which will make them strong and I would make sure to protect them.

[Chazmatazz269]

If they’re bullied i can teach them to respect themselves and defend themselves while respecting others. If they’re a bully, i’ma hafta beat that ass. Don’t nobody want that.

[Anonymous]

you do know that bullies are kids that are bullied at home by their parents and then they take it out on kids at school right? ?

[wittymilf]

Sure do bud

[wittymilf]

Although not always, sometimes kids like to trial some ideas they may have seen in society too not just learned behaviour from home.

[Animallover3742]

Hmm interesting question. I'm genuinely divided. I'd rather they be bullied because I'd just teach them karate and hope that they would just punch the bully in the face lol

[Stoner710]

I’d rather have him get bullied and then punch the bully in the face I don’t know if you ever seen the movie a Christmas story but that’s what I would love my kid to do

[VIVANT]

Bullied I’ll help them learn to deal with bullies snd not be an asshole. If I raises a bully I’m doing something terribly wrong.

[schittywok]

Don't raise your child to be either or. Most kids don't fall into either trap. Some kids are stupid though. Some want to carry on traditions and tell the weak what to do. Some are smart and don't kowtow. It really is that simple. If someone tells you to enter a snowbank and give yourself a whitey, or someone tells you to enter a mud puddle or else! You keep on walking. You really do weed out the weaklings though.

[Sixgunsound]

Given a choice from two undesirable outcomes I would rather my daughters were more assertive and empowered than victimized.

[RosieMelts]

Yeah I was thinking the same thing, and it helps this comment comes from you considering your experience and expertise.
Thanks for it 🙏

[shesrad]

being bullied teaches you way more about life, people, for the most part make syou a better person in the end, then being a bully ever would

[Msputiton]

Bullied. I teach my child to beat that bully's ass, and i beat their parents ass if they got a problem wit it

[johnboymuscles]

A bully because it's a mean old world out there and it'll make you it's bitch. better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6. But I'd rather my kid only finished things, never started them. Diplomatically w. e possible.

[AviatorTom]

Neither. If my child is a bully, I'll deal with that. Similarly, if he's being bullied, I'll teach him how to take out the bully.

[Fukaroo]

I'm not a muppet!!! I think being bullied prepares you for shit that happens later in life. Get bullied then rise up and fight them!!!

[dustybiker]

Neither. Peacemakers and problem solvers.

[wittymilf]

Nit on the list sorry, but yes that would be the ultimate dream I don’t know if you can become thise without first experiencing some bullying though

[Blackcupcake]

@wittymilf I was never bullied or bullied anyone myself as a kid but I was always trying to solve drama and also include the excluded kids

[Ms_Facesitter]

Bullied. It takes more courage to get up and grow from that experience.

[spg12212122]

I don't have experience of being bullied or being a bully so I wouldn't know. I was always avoiding girls who followed me around literally stalking me. They really objectified me so I guess being bullied is better...

[exitseven]

Both are pretty bad but you could probably encourage your kid to stand up for himself but if he is a bully, that is a pretty systemic condition that will probably never change.

[BoobMan]

I'd say a bully as that one is easier for me (and the child) to correct.

[Iron_Man]

If you’re a bully you can always be straightened out and learn to do things the right way if you’re being bullied that means we have a serious problem on our hands why is this happening to my son unacceptable now you get my drift?

[YourFutureEx]

I'd rather have a lion as my kid than a deer. More chances of survival in this world.

[molonski2]

I feel its a really selfish answer to vote B , but I voted B , with mixed thoughts.

[msc545]

Both are bad. Treating the effects of being bullied is slightly easier.

[BLP11520]

A very hard question. bullies I knew ended up in jail

[Mynameisbobby]

Neither I hate bullies!! I hate seeing kids get bullied!

[Anonymous]

a bully duh. But why do I have to pick one of the two? I don't really want either.

[wittymilf]

It’s just the way questions work really🤷‍♀️

[Wise4myage]

Neither, so I guess C.

[wittymilf]

Ah the muppets choice … you won’t be the only one sigh.

[EaterPeter]

Neither, balance is life, life is balance. Life in balance.

[EmmaMary]

Neither.

[wittymilf]

If only that was an option. It’s not

[EmmaMary]

Oh dear, in that case we would prefer our child to get bullied, so that both my husband and I can perhaps teach them how to defend themselves, without hopefully any serious aggressiveness.

Should the situation continue to prevail after exhausting all possible ways, then we would seriously consider removing our child from that environment and finding an alternative such as home schooling or private education.

[wittymilf]

I feel this way too, two of my children were bullied at one time or another but it has grown them into strong empathetic adults

[EmmaMary]

@wittymilf

May I please ask how you actually dealt with the bullying.

[wittymilf]

Um I think my over riding advice to my daughters was that most bullying has more to do with the Billy’s home life and state of mind than it does about you. And we had a mantra in our house which I repeated almost daily having three teen daughters ‘what other people think of you is none of your business’ . I coupled this with talking to them about why do they need to be liked by someone else, if they actually have no respect for that person, basically… if a shitty person likes and admires you… then something must be wrong.

[EmmaMary]

@wittymilf

Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and advice, which "sadly" one day I might just need to remember, but obviously hoping not. x

[Jennz6]

I don’t want my children being a bully.

[Date_a_Snob]

Neither.

[Chaser3232]

Neither!

[Kelly6]

neither

[Jamie05rhs]

NEITHER!

[Staximus]

Neither

[despiteful]

Neither

[userxvi]

Both

[Engin12]

neither

[jimmy2]

Neither one