Do you think children who had tough childhood are less susceptible to being bullied as they are better able to stand up for themselves?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I always thought I was quite different and could be very easily picked on to be bullied because of my different, quirky character as well as my birthmark on my temple. Instead I was copied though and some kids even tried to copy my birthmark at some point 😂

So, I feel like the reason I had a nice time at school was that I was toughened up from my family circumstances and being in school felt like a playground compared to the complex situations I had to face in my family.

I was already well equipped with skills of survival on my own.

Do you think children who had to deal with hardships early on are less prone to get bullied?

[BoopBoopBeep]

I had a phenomenal mom. Single parent household because my y-chromosome contributor is a tepid sack of feculence, but when I was in grade school I was the fat kid, the short kid, and the mouthy kid, all at the same time. I got bullied for a couple years. Like, several times a day, every day. Then eventually I grew up... I mean physically. I soon after made some choices and stopped being the fat kid. I was always the mouthy kid, and I knew eventually after goading my bullies as many times as I could, eventually I'd be so used to getting hit it wouldn't phase me as much. When their hits lost any sting I started mouthing off to the older kids in higher grades. I got enough people to hit me that it didn't cause a sting anymore.

Summer before 8th grade I worked off the books at a landscaping place. Stacking rocks, slate, stuff like that in the field, so I was outside all the time. Then I got a second job helping a stone mason. I'd bike between 20-35 miles a day. I'd never had more than one friend before anyway, so I had lots of spare time.

When I was no longer the fat kid I went back to my original bullies, one by one, and made it a point to make sure that a) they always swung first and b) there were witnesses who would corroborate. My mom always said regardless of what the principal said, as long as I don't swing first she supports however it turns out.

Ironically enough, one time I though that I was really going to get F'ed up because the degenerate I was about to dance with had kicked the crutched out from under the crippled kid at school I had lunch with. The cripped kid's name was Andy, and he had a great sense of humor. Also had polio or something as a baby. Walked REALLY messed up. The degenerate's name I don't remember because I don't name the trash. Didn't matter to me that I was going to lose, I just wanted to make him feel it enough to regret his choice. The bullies name I can't remember, but he was a couple years older since he'd been held back for sucking at life. James? John? Joe? I don't know. We'll call him Joe because fewer keystrokes. Joe had a foot on me and 40lbs. Out of the side of my eye I saw this dude charging with his hand up. No clue who it is, what's up, and if I'm about to get jumped. He comes into central view as he lept off the retaining wall and straight up superman punched Joe in the jaw. Laid him out cold. It was Adam de Larenza (ADL). One of MY former bullies. He and I had fought a year earlier. He learned not to bully me again. I stood over the unconscious lump of flesh that was about to be the source of my a--kick that day and half expected ADL to turn on me. When he stood up from the superman punch I was in a fighting stance. He goes "esse... all those years I done you wrong, but you took it like a G and never told nobody. Then you get hard and thrown down. You f'ed me up good homes. This dude though. This dude keeps a shiv in his boot and he'll use it. You don't go out like that. Not today."

ADL got expelled that day because he beat Joe until he lost a half dozen teeth an caved in an orbital. All while he was unconscious from the first hit. THAT they frowned upon, even back in the day.

I spent a lot of freshman year in the principal's office or getting suspended, but most of the time I got an "okay go back to class" because I wasn't the first person to swing. Even the times they talked about pressing charges my mom was like "They start it, you end it, and you end it for good because I can't take off work to come here every day."

I took that to heart. Made a past time out of it. Can't think my mom enough. The other kids that got bullied eventually came to me with their issues. Andy was the first. "Silent John" was the second. I got REAL good at taking a hit and even better at giving them. My lunch crew was really eclectic by the end of things. Somebody messed with them, we'd dance. I didn't always win, but I was so used to losing that it didn't even suck for me. I'd make sure it sucked fro them before I got knocked out though. I never quit. I never ran. Either they knocked me out or I knocked them out, or somebody would pull me off their body while I had them on the ground.

One Tuesday morning the towers came down and I realized there's a different caliber of bully. I'm still doing the same thing, and I can't thank my mom enough.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I agree what your mom told you. As long as you don’t start bullying and hitting others, you can teach them a lesson or two.

I am glad you overcame the bullying and in the end won over your bullies and I am happy you have had such a supportive mom.

Being a boy is tougher than a girl. As a girl I could solve literally any problem of mine through my communication skills and just one word and the problem was solved.

For my brother it was different, he was bullied for 1 year in the primary school, because he was the most handsome boy in the class and all the girls were paying attention to him so boys were jealous when he came to that class and picked on him.

When he changed the school, he challenged the most dominant guy in school and won. Since then nobody dared talk rudely to him, and he wasn’t a bully, our mom raised us to protect the weak instead of bully others. He also was a great fighter too.

However there was one day… Guys in his class had inside jokes with each other and they all joked about their dads, some condescending jokes about them and their occupations, my brother has warned everyone that nobody could joke about our dad, and most guys listened, we have an amazing dad and he has been the kindest person in our life.

At some point one classmate of him decided to make a joke about my our dad too, my brother warned him not to do it again, he still started teasing him, and trying to make condescending jokes like he made about other boys’ dads. My brother got up, grabbed his legs and hanged him out of the window from the 3rd floor and held him until he apologized.

He never messed with my brother again and never mentioned my dad, of course. I don’t think my brother was right in this case, but I don’t blame him either, I would forgive people saying anything they want about me, but I wouldn’t forgive anyone insulting my family. I think that guy learned a lesson.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Now I don’t think my brother was a bully. I think that guy was a bully to make condescending joke about our father. Who I have always been very proud of.

As for me, I had very diplomatic communication skills and could easily talk my way in and out of anything I wanted in school. I think maybe that’s partially why I was never bullied along with my confidence.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Someday when I have a child, I’d like him to know that he should never start aggression and should always protect the weak, never hit anyone first, but if someone keeps bullying him he is free to punch their face and I’ll gladly pay for their hospital fees.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I think your brother is pretty awesome ;)

[Billlewis]

The resident stud is hitting bullseyes yet again...

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@BoopBoopBeep Thank you so much

[glennos89]

People who had a rough past are definitely stronger as a individual but part of it has also to do with the lessons the parents teach there children.

I remember that I got beaten for the first time when I was 5 years old and came home crying because the guy who beat me was older and bigger then me and my father asked me if I punched the guy back after being hit by him. So I told my father crying that I didn't hit him back and my father became very angry at me and he forced me to get back outside and lunch the guy back while my father followed me to find this guy again.

In the end my father saw this guy being a few years older then me so he understood I would stand no chance against this much older guy so he scared the shit out of this dude by warning him never to hit me ever again.

But from that moment on I didn't ever let myself getting punched by anyone without defending myself by punching back. I therefore was never being bullied ever again in my whole life because my father reached me to never let myself being punched without at least trying to beat the other guy back.

He literally told me it was better to die trying to win the fight then to let anyone beat me up just like that without defending myself with everything I got in me 🤷‍♂️

Very very very valuable lesson from my dad which I am still very thankful for to get from him.

People who never defend themselves will always be vulnerable for getting bullied. Parents should teach there children to fight back at all times. Not defending yourself is the reason for getting bullied sooner or later. Its sad but children can be very cruel

[petitedollbabee]

They often end up becoming the bully. My highschool bully was bullying me because her dad was abusing her at home for years and she had no other way to express her frustration.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Often? I don't know. Not always, to be sure. I was bullied. I've since made a career out of getting rid of bullies. Anyone claiming they do what they do because of "the cycle" is inherently weak-willed.

[petitedollbabee]

Like I said, often. Often doesn’t mean always. That’s great that you’ve made a career out of it, good for you 🙂

[milknhoneyy]

I don't know. I personally didn't have a rough childhood, but I still developed defense mechanisms that I believe at largely responsible for me not getting bullied.

[msc545]

I think that children who have been bullied are at risk of becoming bullies theselves because they become so angry and depressed. They may "bully themselves" via impaired social behavior and suicide attempts or simply bully others - or both.

At least some of them become school shooters which is like an enhanced form of bulllying. If they really do learn to take better care of themselves, which I think is questionable, that does not in any way mitigate the substantial damage that bullying has done to them.

Depression, suicide, and violent acting out are all well-known consequences of being bullied.

Having a tough childhood doesn't necessarily make someone better equipped to deal with bullies, and people who are bullied aren't necessarily "weak" or "bad at standing up for themselves."

[BoopBoopBeep]

I promise not to become a school shooter.

Interesting, this: "If they really do take better care of themselves, which I think is questionable..."

I'd say I've taken care of myself okay. Nobody managed to kill me. That part isn't questionable.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t think they are weak at all, I’d never dare call my brother “weak” and he was bullied at some point in the past.

However, I am just honestly wondering what makes some people more susceptible to bullying than others, I had everything to be picked on,

actually they at some point picked me on in primary school, cause I was in drama class and acted really well and they found it fun, but my mom told me “First they laugh at you, then they are surprised by you, then they admire you, don’t stop doing it just because they think it’s different, the more different you are the more respect you’ll awaken in them later on”, so I never took those few laughs close to my heart and just kept having fun, soon after, the kids who laughed at my performances were the ones clapping hard at them.

I think the key is not to get it too close to your heart. When they fail to hurt you, they stop trying.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

What do you think can help them take better care of themselves?

[msc545]

@BoopBoopBeep I think you are far from typical, and unfortunately, most people will not have the good outcome that you had...

[caring__1]

This is not something that can be generalized to a complete population. Some people get stronger, while others go into a shell. Since the strength develops when they are young, it tends to be a facade of defensive strength rather than real strength. Real strength, like real love, grows slowly over time, based on life's experiences.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I agree.

[molonski2]

I agree , I think kids in that circumstance have a thicker skin , and having been though diversity and problems they know automatically how to deal with it , could be tough neighbourhood , super aggressive sibling etc , I was never ever bullied at school or in sporting groups , despite not being the tallest , despite attending a school that ( all these years later ) has convicted multiple pedophiles , they left me out of sporting teams , but these people never tried it on. So great to see them finally bought to justice , there was a group of 5 , only partial to males.

Harder to bully an emotionally tough kid.

[Meropatrick]

No. I had a tough childhood my mom used to beat me up for no reason until my skin heats up and i can't sleep i remember the pain until now. I was so much mistreated by my mom that i felt alone and unsupported. I got still Bullied a lot at school i would stand my ground but at Some point i broke down. I had no support from home nor school and mental illness started to eat me away. i have ptsd now. Bullies target people who have no support. Loners. People who won't have a supportive family to fight for them. Usually those people come from broken homes. Already suffering

[GreatBigCircles]

A lot of children who grew up abused or in poor situations, tend to be easily victimized later in life or learn to victimize others; They either learn to be submissive and rationalize their suffering as being 'deserved' or somehow their fault, or project their insecurities on others by recreating the abuse with themselves as the one in control.

[Anonymous]

With me, there was a huge lack of adult role models. Because of my ADHD diagnose, I've been raised to believe I will never be normal. That didn't inspire me to study or mature up. My problems in the family made me weaker on the outside.

[exitseven]

Yes, Nietzsche wrote "what does not kill us makes us stronger." I was bullied as a kid and it made me get into weight training. By the time I was in junior year the bullying stopped.

[Billlewis]

Why do questions about bullying turn me on so much?

[Mynameisbobby]

I had a tough childhood and still got bullied. I think in cases it may be true, depends on the type of tough childhood one went through.

[Nikki1989]

It can harden your emotions.

[justabuddy]

Tough times creat tough individuals.

[BLP11520]

I was bullied and turned out good

[jahaims]

Can go either way

[Anonymous]

Yes.