Why do parents of recent generations give their kids more power than parents of previous generations?

[Bethany22]

Like, parents nowadays seem to allow their kids more negotiation power than parents did a few decades ago, and seem to worry more that their kids may not like them anymore if they are too authoritarian. Why did parents of earlier generations have better self-esteem than parents of nowadays in that regard?

[DJB72]

The systematic destruction of the nuclear family over the course of a century.

Two world wars eliminated the strong men who were prepared to be good fathers in two consecutive generations.

The "Free love" generation that followed - known today as "boomers"

Generation X - a fatherless generation in many ways. Most weren't as lucky as me. Most of the men of my generation are caricatures of men, not men of substance, because they never had the guidance of strong god-fearing men.

Generation Y and the Millennials: broken. Fatherless. Selfish. Pathetic.

The women of each generation have become cynical. Becoming a mother is considered an affliction. Something to be "cured" instead of cherished. A baby is an inconvenience instead of a blessing. Whichever Williams tennis player it was said she "had" to give up her career because of the baby instead of being able to celebrate that she has the awesome privilege to raise the next generation.

But that's the lie. That the career - that she can start aged 35 - is more important than the next generation, most of whom are under 35 years younger than their parents.

Then a group who were never given discipline get power over the people who were and know how crucial discipline is to the future and suddenly discipline and abuse become synonyms.

Then the world is truly fucked.

[Sixgunsound]

I wish I could like this and point to it more than once. ☝️ This.

[DJB72]

Thanks @Sixgunsound

[BlackBeauty90]

That's only among you weak Americans. You are a spineless lot when it comes to responding to feminism - or the mockery of feminism in today's society.

Go to Europe and in many areas you won't find this if you searched high & low and turned over every stone.

[DJB72]

I'm no fucking American

[BlackBeauty90]

Yet you whine like an American. If you were a legitimate South African, and I say this as someone who was born in Africa, you wouldn't whine like an American. South Africans - particularly those of the old Boer ancestry - are a stoic type. They don't bitch like ball-less wonders.

[BlackBeauty90]

Furthermore South Africans don't know much of anything about the generation of "free love" that was a predominantly American with a slipover to the UK ideology. So liar, liar pants on fire... whining American pretending to be South African. ROFL. Pathetic.

[Exterminatore]

@DJB72

Lot of truth there. I disagree with the generations removed by 2 world wars part though.

The baby boom resulted from men who survived the 2nd world war. Therefor they were present.

I see the cause as stepping away from God and a decline in morality.

[DJB72]

@BlackBeauty90 wrong again. Care for another overgeneralised caricature?

[DJB72]

@Exterminatore the Boomers may have been conceived by survivors, but that doesn't mean they were fully present just because they were there.

I agree the decline in morality and moving away from God is the primary cause. Most don't want to hear it.

[mobiusforniner]

Because when i was a kid, i got the shit beat out of me. Even for stuff I didn't cause. If I so much spilled a cup at dinner I got whipped with a belt. My mom would slap me in the face if I got anything below an A grade.

I promised myself id never do the same too my kids.

[Bethany22]

And you're actually pretty young and your parents were still of the generation that did stuff like that :O

[mobiusforniner]

The funny part is my parents want me to thank them for it because I made it really successful in life. They feel im unappreciative. Yes, like, thanks for beating the shit outta me and scaring me...

[Bethany22]

I'm not surprised that they guilt trip you for not being appreciative. They sound like that type of parent whereby physical control isn't enough for them, they need emotional control as well

[JordynJayne]

For me, as a 24 year old mom with a 6 year old.. I feel like today’s generation is all about “breaking generational curses” and “trauma instilling acts” on our kids. I raise my kid well, and I raise him right, and for that he has many privileges other kids don’t have let alone what I did.


I want to see the kid thrive in life. I’m raising a little human, which is so scary yet so rewarding. Kids these days need to live, not be pushed into a “you’re just a child” pool in the corner with all the others. I also let my child learn from his mistakes. I don’t let him not make mistakes.


He doesn’t want to do homework? Alright that’s on you boo. You want to mess around in dirt and get your new clothes dirty? Alright! It can be washed and I can help and show you how.


Part of me also makes me feel like I am forced to give my child more privileges than I’m comfortable with. The way the school system is currently, the way the world is, the way this generation perceives people. It’s so cookie cutter, that if I raised a brownie with all the other cookies, I would be looked down upon and my child would be failed socially.


Nowadays. If I was whooped my child’s ass like my mother did with a wooden spoon, which was socially acceptable in my day. I would be in prison for a 20 year attempted murder charge with the way the world of Karen’s and social media has made it.

[JordynJayne]

Places a child on time out could be perceived as abuse.

There are many things I don’t allow my kid to do, because kids shouldn’t be allowed to do it period. I don’t let my child run around aimlessly in the store without me there. God forbid the child got kidnapped, I would be WRONGED for it. Yet there’s always going to be the “let the kid do whatever he wants, he’s just a kid” crowd.

[Bethany22]

Your mother spanked you? You seem too young for even that to have still been legal

[JordynJayne]

Legal or not my parents did it 🤷🏼‍♀️ I wouldn’t do anything in private that I wouldn’t do in public, but that’s just me.

[Alwayreckles93]

JordanJayne Your a good mom. Don't be so hard on yourself.

[Guy13]

Destruction of the most prevalent from 1950s and into 1960 rebellion against traditional family value. Exacerbated by the launching of Self-love, from the unconscious into the Present, made me, myself, and I pleasing the greatest good. In the 1980s all of society was told to live for Self in the moment in all things. During 1980s to Present men left the home making single motherhood a reality and simultaneously screwing it if she moved and again making babies and creating a single and separate parents. The children suffered immensely without man role teaching in the home. With Mothers forced to work, day care, and babysitting simply to 💰urvive, kids without example emerged.
The schools, whether it be sex ed or anything else non-traditional became the Parent. The same school empowered the child to believe they had full autonomy. The children, lacking Family supervision, internalized the sense of Autonomy.

In my view the Men are responsible for the destruction of the Family, the red pill 💊, rise of Feminist, the Beta children etc. Now the women are emulating the horrible behavior of men as it related to treatment of spouse, children, and their Intelligent Design.

Frankly, we are in a fallen world and even today, men have not learned from history. Media, Schools, and societal pressures and propaganda have not helped the situation. Children, as a result of single parent household, schools as parents, and gender, hormonal blockers, and physical mutilation have never been more abused, in the West, as they are in these times.

[Aerissa_Jade]

I've seen this as well, although decades ago... parents let their kids have more freedoms, compared to helicopter parents these days. Your question seems to be in regards to how parents negotiate with children to get them to do chores, or clean their room.

I know someone who is doing it right now, they are bribing their child.

It is terrible, and sure some might be afraid of the state coming in and taking the kids away if they punish them.

I say if the child wants to report the parents, then let them take them away and then the child can live in foster care thinking, this is better or I wish I had just done what I was told to.

I've also seen that happen, where children use the threat of reporting parents to get what they want.

The state will come in, take kids away first then make parents jump through hoops to get them back. Not all parents will do that, even if never found to be doing anything wrong.

Society changes I guess.

[NathanDavis]

"my kids" don't need to be hit, they don't need to be bossed around... I've raised them smart and I've raised them better

just like my parents did not hit me nor bossed me around, they raised me smart and they raised me better

and just like my parents were raised by my grandparents, and just like my grandparents and so on... lol

a good mix of family values, morals, bonds and well honed parenting tradition is not exactly a generation thing that skips one or the other... it is actually a generational thing that comes with some families

either you have shitty parents or you have great parents (and all the in-between of course) and that has been true for all generations... not just some or the other, lol

[Alwayreckles93]

More and more people from our generation are telling there obuse stories and now people from our generation want to break that cycle. I am 29 about to be 30 in two months. I do see a huge difference even at school teachers allowed kids to get away with things that a decade ago they would of send us to ditention. Now I noticed high schoolers are allowed to wear crop tops and dress up all like hooters workers let's just put it that way. I remember when a was a sophomore in high school you might remember it was the latest style back then the dress with leggings I wasn't showing off skin nothing mind you my dress was over the knee length yet still I got a write up just for that. Another example are the Duggar kids.

[BlackBeauty90]

Because they're stupid? Uneducated? Unfit to have a pet rock but because of "human rights" they think they're worthy of having children. When reality is, is they're screwing their children up to be life-time failures. Society there is no mommy or daddy to wipe your ass for you so when these children get their first job, their first car, etc. they're fucked. They won't have a clue how society works & how to survive outside the house.

[20yearsolder]

Because they don't want to be parents, they don't want their kids to not like them. Instead of raising a child they are trying to raise a friend.

[IceCreamSandwich]

Seems like the previous generation of high self-esteem parents raised low self-esteem kids. Maybe this generation will raise high self-esteem kids and start the cycle over again?

[Sixgunsound]

When the self-esteem is valued over discipline, respect, you get kids, who think a lot of them selves and nothing of anyone else.

[IceCreamSandwich]

@Sixgunsound yes, and vice versa.

[anon1903]

People in the ancient times weren't more obedient, sis, they were just oppressed. If you've ever seen an Asian kid do something "out of respect" for the elders... Just no, no they didn't. They did that because they'd be literally humiliated for not doing so. We have the rule of respecting elders, no matter what.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I agree with parents in the older age was more strict like my mom I was born in 68 and went through age 2-teenage and I did some bad stuff

[TheSpaceGnome]

Because being controlling and authoritarian parents is bad, and as victims of that, many people wanted to break the cycle with their own kids, and I applaud them for it. 👏

The point of having kids is to have them grow up and live the type of lives they want, and its the parent's job to make that feasable, or as close to feasable as possible.

[Havthrills]

Because they don't know how to raise a child? They want their children to "have options and do what they want" while the kids are learning to do nothing and mooch off the parents. Not all are like that. "I just want to give them better than I had" is the main excuse. I think I'm fine so why would I not teach my kids manners and the meaning of earning what you want.

[Sixgunsound]

It may have something to do with the kids increased power to have their parents beaten or shot by the police.

[Sparkie460]

Kids today have too much freedom. Parents today aren't allowed to punish their kids the same way that older generations were able to. The government took that right away. Because of it kids today have less respect for their parents. I see it all the time in stores. If I did something wrong when I was a kid my parents just had to look at me a certain way and I would listen. If a parent did that today the kids either laughed at their parents or ignored them

[Apple1996]

It's all the "gentle parenting" now a days. It truly doesn't work. People actually need to step up and discipline their kids instead of talking and hugging through every issue.

[melanieeeB]

I think it's cause we learned how awful it was and we wanna give our kids a better future and childhood than what we had

[OlderAndWiser]

When I hear parents say that they want to be their child's best friend, I know that they have abdicated their responsibility as a parent.

[Hardworkingguy]

That's a good question. Same with teachers and students. It's not always a good idea

[Shy_Steve]

I think it's because they don't want to be like their Parents.

[Exterminatore]

Because they’re week and because state and federal governments have taken power from parents to discipline children in a meaningful way that results in changed behavior.