What could be the reason why some father’s (including mine) always choose the mom’s side over the kid?

[xJayleenx]

It’s not helping my living situation. When I didn’t have a lot of money my mom asked me for 200 dollars for a baby’s bday party and she promised me to pay it back to me herself at first I was hesitant but she got mad and called me a bunch of names so I gave it to her. Then when the time came for her to pay it back like she said she would she backed out and involved my dad in it saying that he couldn’t pay for it because he had paid for all my car repairs when it was her that promised to pay it back to me not him. She made a show in the car calling my dad telling him that I called her a thief when all I said was that she tricked me, and she was literally screaming and crying while insulting me. I told my dad that I did not call her a thief but he still keeps on saying that I did despite her being obviously in the wrong he defended her and still defends her every disagreement that we have even if she treats me bad she’s always right. My mom doesn’t work but she recently spent almost 700 dollars on clothes and couldn’t pay me the 200 dollars back. I never got the money back I told my dad not to worry about it. I always got along with my dad and thought that he was sweet but he keeps on choosing her side over and over again. This makes me feel alone like I have no one and I don’t see him the same anymore because he started claiming that I verbally attack her when it’s not like that at all. I don’t have any cousins I could talk to because of my parents problems with my family. Besides my boyfriend I have no one else on my side so it gets lonely :(. I’m going to be working hard at a factory again I have to save up to hopefully move out next October or November.

Updates

+1 y

With my father it’s like he doesn’t know me at all. He knows that I have a low self esteem and that I’m a quiet person but he still says things about me that are not true like that I verbally attack my mom when it was her that did it to me for years that really makes me feel bad that he acts like I’m the bad one everytime. I don’t think I even know what a mother’s love is my mom is so cold to me but kinder to my brother and she only talks to me to order me around.

Updates

+1 y

I’m not going to use any more of my time trying to explain that those things aren’t true to my dad. I’m just going to give up they never listen and are all the same.

[Sparkie460]

Didn't you say you and your dad worked out a deal for the money? Your car probably wouldn't need all the repairs if they didn't use your car all summer.

Your mother is a manipulator, self-centered, cold hearted person.

[xJayleenx]

It need to get registered and it didn’t pass the emissions test. My dad has helped me with many costs.

[Sparkie460]

Unfortunately you can't change your parents. They are who they are. I wish I could just wave a magic wand and change your mother's attitude but I can't.

[TroyDT2]

She likely knew she would play that card beforehand, which was shady, and I am guessing the help with repairs was likely a gift, which makes requiring payment for it wrong. She put your dad in a crappy situation and forced a choice between an adult daughter and his wife.

[Adaeva]

You are an adult. In the unlikely event you are telling the truth, you should move out. If you don't that proves that you are receiving more then you are giving and just want to complain.

[xJayleenx]

I’m working on it.

[Adaeva]

That's being smart. Since he has to live with her long after you are gone, you can't really blame your father for supporting his wife, but he could show less favoritism.

[Adaeva]

Thank you for the MHO.

[saffoler]

The saying is "happy wife happy life" not "happy kids happy life."

[Guy13]

He has to live with Mom. And not cheat. And if you were a son then you would understand. I’m sure he loves you.

[xJayleenx]

I don’t understand because I’m always so fast to defend him and he’ll be saying bad things about me in front of my mom and that angers her he makes the situation worse.

[xJayleenx]

By doing that

[xJayleenx]

She did give me the 200 dollars back but to pay my dad those 200 dollars

[Guy13]

What a tough time of year to be having these feelings. Hope this all works out as you wish.

[ChiTown33]

A guy should ALWAYS choose his spouse's side over anyone else. Having said that, your mom is nuts, sorry.

[xJayleenx]

So my dad always going against me is right?

[xJayleenx]

She did give me the 200 dollars back but to pay my dad those 200 dollars

[ChiTown33]

That's his wife. Look I'm not saying your mom's actions are right. They're NOT. But when you're married you always have your spouses back. In front if you his she ALWAYS support her. Now he can tell her he thinks she's wrong in private and they can talk about it. But in front of you he has to support her. Keep in mind also that while you're legally an adult now, to a parent to a certain extent you'll always be a child.

[ChiTown33]

In front of you he should*

[xJayleenx]

I don’t agree with this because he is only making her more angry than she is by saying those things in front of her

[ChiTown33]

Saying "what things" in front of her? You don't have to agree with me. It's true whether yo agree or not. That doesn't mean your parents are perfect partners and won't ever disagree or break ranks in front of you. I do know that partners that don't back eachother up don't remain partners for long.

[xJayleenx]

They have told me that they’re only together for us and they are pretty toxic.

[xJayleenx]

Towards each other

[xJayleenx]

Like he’ll say things that’ll infuriate her only more like that I’m so rude and stuff so that she could hear.

[xJayleenx]

She treats me horribly and he lets her and he always tries to tell me that I’m the bad one knowing that I have low self esteem and could end up believing him thanks to this site I know that I don’t deserve things. I just don’t know if it’s really right for him to keep on defending her? Isn’t it wrong? Shouldn’t how I feel matter too?

[ChiTown33]

Well I think it's wrong for parents to make thier kids feel bad. I had the best parents a guy could ever ask for. But parents are human to, they make mistakes. But a kid should NEVER doubt thier parents love for them. We're they always like this? Or is this something fairly new. Because I could understand it BETTER then.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

When you got to live with a person who is verbally abusive it's rough, trust me I had parents who were good with that bull, It's best to save money and move out in an Apartment where there is Rent and Bills included.

[FunkyMonkee]

Love. And, he's not keen in sleeping on the couch.

[xJayleenx]

Ummm he held up a gun to her once.

[xJayleenx]

They have told me that they were going to divorce several times and haven’t done it and claim that they were only together for the kids

[KrakenAttackin]

Your father is stuck between two women's, which is never a good position to be in.

[KrakenAttackin]

Also, remember your father has to sleep with your mom. She probably makes his life miserable if he doesn't side with her. There aren't any easy answers except to accept your mother's faults and realize the position your dad is in.

[xJayleenx]

She makes his life miserable anyways

[xJayleenx]

My dad and I had a good relationship why would he give that up?

[xJayleenx]

I also have low self esteem and he tries to convince me everytime that I deserve things and I used to actually believe this until I started writing about what happend online and telling my boyfriend.

[xJayleenx]

She did give me the 200 dollars back but to pay my dad those 200 dollars

[xJayleenx]

My parents even wanted to get a divorce several times claiming that they’re only together because of us

[KrakenAttackin]

Are you living on your own? When all kids are out of the house maybe your Dad can be free.

[xJayleenx]

I have a 13 year old brother. Me and my boyfriend are planning to be moved out by this October at the earliest and we plan to get married before that.

[xJayleenx]

My dad is the only one that works i dont think that he’ll ever be free I as a concerned child tried to convince my mom to work but she says that she won’t work because they’ll take a check away from her that she earns because of my brother

[KrakenAttackin]

A shitty situation.

[pizzalovershouse]

Cuz want to keep on wife's good side or they get yelled at to much

[boggboss]

Clearly your mum is vary manipulative

[xJayleenx]

She did give me the 200 dollars back but to pay my dad those 200 dollars

[xJayleenx]

I don’t know if she’s a good person. She talks bad about everyone. I don’t know how to tell if someone’s a bad person or not but I do feel like she’s not a good mom. She’s one of those moms that doesn’t stop talking about giving birth to you and the sacrifices she made everytime she gives you a ride

[eagle1951]

because they both agreed to raise there kids together

[Anonymous]

Because at end she gives pleasure to him on bed.

[xJayleenx]

That’s exactly what I thought lol

[Opinion Owner]

You're more intelligent than beautiful 😘

[xJayleenx]

Im dead 😂

[xJayleenx]

You know I really don’t give a damn because taking time out of your life to comment this is just so stupid lol

[Opinion Owner]

Bro I said you have beautiful smile.
I said you're intelligent.

Still you mad on me?
Not fair dude