How is it possible to marry someone with a mental disorder?

[Anonymous]

My mother is doing well on her medications. During my HS years, my mother suddenly started hearing voices and seeing things only she could see. She got diagnosed with Schizophrenia and has been under medications since.

Supposedly my father met her as a beautiful and healthy 19 year-old at the time. I would like to think there must have been some red flags. How did it go undetected to the point he married her? My parents are still together.

How is it possible to marry someone with a mental disorder?

[Amy10223]

It happens all the time. People who are mentally ill may not disclose what they have to others, even those close to them. They may be embarassed or ashamed, or may think the person they are with would leave them if they knew. Obviously it would be ideal for a person with mental challenges/issues to be honest and upfront about their illness to the person they are seeing and serious about. About schizophrenia, it can happen at any age, even at a younger age. I have had a child iI taught in the 4th grade with paranoid schzophrenia, but that is rare.

If your mother developed it later on, your father would have never known (as would she) because there is no warning of the illness. I am not sure but I believe that trauma can cause it. I would be happy if I had a parent with it and the other was supporting him or her--because it can be extremely stressful on the entire family. I have had a child in the 4th grade with paranoid schzophrenia, but that is rare.

[watercolor_lions]

Schizophrenia can develop later in life, with no precursor signs at all. I developed schizoaffective disorder at 27. No symptoms prior.

My husband and I both technically have mental disorders, and we love each other for it. It's so wonderful to have someone who can understand your unique brand of craziness.

He said something to me the other day that made me laugh.

"But you have to give us some credit, Babe--we're both raving lunatics"

Your father sounds like a wonderful husband and I am very happy they were able to work things out.

[watercolor_lions]

The truth is, you will have to accept, regardless of who you marry, for better or worse means accepting mental/physical disorders can happen AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT. My mother married my father and was his personal nurse for 13 years of my childhood, until the day he died. My husband was engaged to me when my schizoaffective disorder kicked in. He still loved me enough to marry me.

It's not about the illness, it's about if you have the guts to face reality with your partner.

[jayhams]

Most people have some form of mental illness/disorder

[Anonymous]

Because love can make people ignore red flags, and some disorders may not have obvious signs- especially considering, unless they have previous experience with it, people might not recognize the signs for what they are. Some people also just want to try to help another person and support them.


But also, why do people with mental disorders not deserve to have loving relationships that extend into marriage?