What qualities would you like to have as a father/mother?

[Anonymous]

And if you're a parent, how well do you think you've raised your kids so far? better than you thought you would?

parenting scares me, especially since I don't want to ruin any kids. At the same time, i think I've had some great role models.

[Anonymous]

This is something my mind jumps to sometimes when I see the way some people act or were raised. I want to teach my kids how important family is. Its only partially selfish, but I want to live vicariously through them just a little bit by giving them the best chance at having a good family but also understanding how special that really is.

I think I'm going to be very strict when they're very young but very permissive and unrestricting as they start to rebel because I want them to go out and do stupid things so they can learn their lessons when they're under 18 and won't really get into that much trouble. So much better than figuring out basic shit at 25.

If I did a good job with them when they were young, they'll be good enough for me to trust them doing whatever they end up doing.

When they do get in trouble, I'm not going to just tell them everything's fine, but I think that I will make hilarious jokes about the stupidity of what they did, really breaking down specifically what was stupid about their actions in terms of concept, execution, risk vs reward, how close you were to succeeding.

I will be doing this because after years of wondering why it seems people need to be emotionally damaged in order to really be independent and not just a corperate slave, I realized that mentally damaged people are incredibly observant of their surroundings and themselves which opens the door to other very rare and valuable skills.

What's nice about making fun of your kids failures is that as long as you do it in a way where it's just playful negging and your overall sentiment is conversational and encouraging of trying new things, they learn to be a little more self aware which is a key to navigating the world better and being a balanced person.

I want to be the kind of dad who my kids talk to, but they still want to impress. Picking up my kid from the office when they're totally in the right is also a wet dream of mine. There's so many different scenarios but they all end with us driving away and laughing. But then a talk about how life is a game and there are rules.

I'm not ready to be the parent I want to be though. There's a lot of stuff I don't know that holds me back. A lot of bad habits and things I need to work on.

[BullShark]

Well to be honest, I've always been really good with children (which is ironic considering I'm pretty antisocial and distant with almost anyone grown up), for the most part, so I think I might do well. Most kids look up to me as a younger brother and inspiration, and I'd even catch some random kids sometimes run up to me in places like the park or the mall and just stare at me, to which I'd either smile and wave if I'm in a hurry, or I'd kneel down to their level and introduce myself.

As far as actual parenting goes, well, I guess one of my goals as a parent is to not do some of the things my dad would do with me. For one, and I don't mean this in a bad sense or as a form of hate because I still love the man, would be that he was pretty strict in raising us, and still is for the most part. He was always strict about his curfews, talking back to him especially in a loud tone, and he would also sometimes beat me as a form of punishment. I grew up scared under his shadow, and I guess that distanced me a bit from him growing up because I would not tell him a lot of things.

That being said, I'd never yell at or beat my kids, and instead, look for other alternatives to punishing them instead, if need be.

[4ngelic]

-the ability to get their respect effortlessly. i dont want to the parent who has their kids walking all over them or being disrespectful little shits

- want to be the kind of mom that my kids (even when they're teens) wouldn't be embarrassed about and that the other kids would lowkey be jealous about

- being able to make them get perfect grades without being a bitch about it

[jennifer_bloom]

The two things I wish I had more of as a babysitter for young kids is endurance and gratitude. Sometimes I get bored of caring for kids because I’m tired or because my feet hurt from walking long distances with them during our vacation.

[Rogue_Agent]

When I was a kid in the 80's and 90's both my parents worked and I was left alone a lot. I was always with my wild friends and we got in trouble regularly. With my son I tried to work less, spend more time with him at a young age, I never hit him, and always talked to him about everything.

So far he's way better than I was in school, he goes to parties but doesn't drink or do drugs, he's in great shape, and he wants to get a job and start working.

I can't take all the credit, but he's turned out better than I could've ever hoped. All I know is that I gave him lots of my time and love and he did the rest.

[Rockstarrrrr]

From my experience, it seems like kids are more manageable when you treat them like a person and actually have like a conversation with them instead of treating them like they're retarded lol... Also you could put extra work on figuring out what they like as a reward.. Kids live for rewards lol... My little nephews just love me and the same with other people's kids... they look at me as a cool father figure lol... I thought parenting would be super hard but it turned out to be much more easier than I thought... now what I'm anxious about is the basic stuff like changing their diapers and taking care of their needs and stuff...

[artsy_dragon]

As a child we grew up moving in between serval different countries. We are left for months at a time with other relatives. We grew up in a divorce and both my parents remarried. We fled a war. I grew up being abused.

My boyfriend was just completely neglected.

So when we do become parents, out children will grow up in a loving household. No trauma. No abuse.

[Reece12345]

It takes a lot of time and patience. I try to always be there for them and give them all the love I can. When I can't be with them it breaks my heart.

You need to be able to say "no" sometimes. Isn't always easy.

[itsalyssaagain]

I can't wait to be a mum. I'll try my best and tbh nobody's perfect so I am not scared about being a bad parent. I know I'll try my best.

[exitseven]

I wish I had more patience when I was raising my kids. They turned out good but I give most of the credit to my wife

[Akam93]

Well knowing I'm already a mother. The best I can do is just be a loving mother.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

But not overdoing anything, of course. You do not want your children to grow sheltered lol.

[KerriH]

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