Would you judge a 26 year old woman who is still painfully shy and has no social skills?

[Anonymous]

[SteveSmith1985]

I think that depends on what you mean by "judge."

If you mean: Would I assume that she was a loser, or uninteresting, or bad-weird or anything like that... then the answer would be "no".

If you mean will guys notice that you're painfully shy and are uncomfortable socially... well... yea. They'll notice. So in that sense they'll "judge" that you're a painfully shy person uncomfortable in that social situation.

But I think that's about where the "judging" stops. I think everyone sorta realizes that people of all different sorts can be painfully shy. So I don't think people do too much assuming about "what your being shy means" because... everyone can appreciate that it's impossible to tell what a shy person is choosing to conceal about themselves by being shy.

The big problem with being shy when it comes to guys is this:

"You never shine your brightest if your shy"

It's impossible to attract somebody... if you're hiding so much that no guy ever gets to "see" what you're really about, as a person.

So you might see how some girl talks and interacts with others and find "something about her" attractive. That's often how it goes actually. You "get a sense" of what somebody is about based on what they show. So if a girl has a great sense of humor and you enjoy joking around with her... that can be part of the attraction.

If that same girl were painfully shy... she would never SHOW you that side of her that likes to joke around. So that guy won't ever even KNOW that he (in fact) finds that shy girl attractive. She didn't show any of the things that make her unique, and which are attractive.

Being shy, unfortunately necessitates covering-up your attractive qualities from view. THAT is the disadvantage to being shy with dating. Guys don't SEE YOU. But don't think they're "judging" you harshly either. They aren't. 🙂

[bean2k21]

Being shy and lacking social skills can be challenging, but it's important to remember that everyone develops at their own pace and in their own way. Some people are naturally introverted and find it difficult to socialize, while others may have had experiences that have made them shy.

What's most important is that the individual is happy and fulfilled in their life and is taking steps to work on their social skills if they so desire. Everyone has their own unique strengths and weaknesses, and it's important to focus on what makes us happy and confident, rather than trying to be like someone else.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

Nope. I'm 23 years. old and I'm naturally shy, yet have an anxiety disorder that makes it difficult for me to be with people. People who judge someone for that do not know what it's like.

[Adogdog]

I think that's sweet. I would like to meet someone like that.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

@Adogdog It makes life harder to be honest.

[Aerissa_Jade]

No, I would never judge anyone of any age who is painfully shy, social anxiety is a very hard (if not impossible) thing to over come... combined with being shy, omg that is a nightmare.

[UmbrusNightshade]

No. I’m 37 and am just now, within the last year to two years, getting over shyness caused by severe depression, anxiety and agoraphobia.


Just take things slow and try your best to heal whatever wounds you have. You still have a lot of time.

[Chad345]

Absolutely not. For a lot of people it takes time to open up. Not easy at all to know what to say. I think introverts can be deep and I think that's cool. 🙂

[Mynameisbobby]

Absolutely not!! I live this everyday and it's painful 💔