Does it exhaust you emotionally that everyone always expects help from you?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Let’s say you’re a self-sufficient person and never ask for anyone for anything.

You do everything yourself since the very young age, however, people around you always expect that you will help them.

Would it exhaust you emotionally? When you know you can’t rely on anyone while everyone else just relies on you?

Updates

+1 y

I’ve been this way since I was 22 and it’s really tiresome, I can’t do any other way but help those who expect that from me, but I sometimes have to put my priorities behind, because of that and I’ve regretted that often.

Instead of helping others I think the best help is to teach them how to help themselves. But they don’t seem to learn.

[xoxosilentgirl]

yes and no. Actually i feels more secure knowing the fact that i can do it all by my self, no need being codependent , so whenever everyone leave they just can leave without me being missing something, but somehow its kinda sad that no one to rely for, its must be good to have someone you can ask for help. Im okay and happy to help friends and everyone who ask but there’s time to say no. It’s hard to learn and respect your own boundaries but when you learned it you’ll feel a lot better. Sometimes they always ask you because you’re always available for them, so once in a while please prioritize your self first

[lightbulb27]

You have to do some work on yourself and learn some new skills, it's as simple as that. I had to go through that and it's a battle against myself. My wife helped me.

You have to learn the magical word..."No"... and feel ok with it. Feel that they will survive and be ok without you. You need to learn to value your self, that your time matters.

This sounds simliar to me where I am a helper by nature, empathetic and I will get drawn in to others... dropping what I have going on... to help others. It feelt right. It's good in a sense, but has to be done so that you are valuing yourself and like you said... training others rather than doing for them. Otherwise, they are dependents.

I would get fed by helping others, like it's a drug... but after a while, I'd get above my head and it feel bad as I got sucked in more. I get tired because I take on too much.

[SahuShekhar]

I am a self reliant person. And I get what you are saying. You need to recharge yourself before helping others for this you need to take a break, set boundaries, learn to say no. You should also learn this that you can't help everyone.

On the other hand even if you never needed help from others, build a circle that will reciprocate, and help you when you need it. Just the sense that people are there will be assuring.

[ElianaS]

Sometimes, but I don’t mind helping people and I like to help others but I can be shy when talking to someone new because I overthink or just get nervous as to what to say and/or do.


As of the other side, I do ask for help sometimes if I’m really stumped. I try to figure it out myself first before asking for help. Like in science I used to ask/still do ask my 11th grade science teacher for help a lot. I’m trying not to because I know it can be very annoying to others and a lot of other students need help. I’m currently trying to work on that.

[Qinart]

Yes. Yes it is. And it sucks everything out of you if you aren't careful. People get used to it quickly and as you also wrote, expect you to be there.
Never put your priorities back, even if it's hard to stand up for it and to feel rude/horrible for doing it (especially the first times) but it is worth it

[Mkamara]

Like what @NathanDavis said. I am naturally inclined to always help. What upsets me is when I give so much that they don’t make an effort to give anything back. Even if you don’t have the means to do it, there's other things you can do/offer. If you do t have money, fine, offer your time to reduce my workload. Something as little as being appreciative can go a long way.

[NathanDavis]

not really no... I'm a helpful person by nature

but yes, sometimes it becomes difficult and even very difficult, but that's a price that I'm willing to pay... just like others have done for me, at some point

[jshm2]

Nope. You need to learn to be a fucking adult and understand your time is as precious as theirs.

Help those who you can help, but don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. You both lose.

[Bethany22]

Yes, I get exhausted by that, as no one ever lets me depend on them. I get angry at how easy it is for others to ask people for help, when it's so difficult for me to ask help. They seem so innocent and carefree and they make me feel cynical.

[prensesmishka]

Of course it would be very tiring. But if you keep showing people that you can do everything and don't let them do anything for you, they start to think it's your job to do everything. Your attitude matters.

[Account]

On contrary, I need it.

It "feeds" me.
It gives me positive feelings.
I like it when I am able to help.
It never exhausts me.

[Anemone978]

You sound a lot like my older sister... but really you should just tell people no...

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am an older sister as well.

[TrueConfection]

Occasionally I run out of steam, but it feels good knowing that others know they can rely on me.

[Guy13]

Yes this is exhausting, however, one eventually learns to eliminate the insincere or excessive worry warts. At least, I do.

[Red-Blaze]

I feel you there
For me il say it emotinal enhancment more, it helps me keep going and get on doing stuff

[whirled_up_girl]

It can be, that’s why you have to set boundaries and limits how much you help others. It’s easier said than done of course.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

I just say NO. Flat.

I come as rude, but I explain them that they need to learn. Don't expect help from me now, or even later.

[grandpolp]

It does exhaust me emotionally especially when it's the depressed friends using alcohol to numb the pain then try to talk to me about all their problems and I'm just like please go see a professional I am not qualified for this.

[grandpolp]

I would suggest maybe asking them to find help somewhere else put yourself first. Be selfish you've been selfless for too long now fly and spread your wings to glory

[Finchie40]

It can be annoying
But that’s when you say Nope I don’t have time sorry and walk away

[rabbitzzz]

Are you self sufficient though. or do you secretly think you need help. That if you help others they might help you in your time of need.

[XXblack88]

yes, it does. That's why popularity isn't a good thing.

[Crankor]

Ofcourse it does, that's why you don't live for other people. You end up not having a life of your own and forget who you even are

[kinggeorge007]

Yeah, kinda. It's more exhaustive when you don't get the same when you need it

[AsaKyo]

No because people never ask me for help lmao

[Jennz6]

Yes, that would be difficult but fortunately I don’t have that problem

[Alex8736]

those are the people I ignore and if they try calling me I'll always answer on speaker phone so everyone can hear

[Anonymous]

Yeah that’s what it’s like having kids and being the main breadwinner, it’s stressful even to this day they ask for help, usually only time I hear from them, yet I need help at times but never get it

[virgincountryboy]

When I thought that was going to lose my virginity and still am one

[Anonymous]

Nope. Because I believe life is service. God gives me the ability to help people. And it's my duty to do God's will.

[ThomasDavid1989]

I don't like people who use people, that's who I don't like

[Cheerfull009]

I never mind helping in their hard time, I always help, according to my capacity and situation

[Nikki1989]

Yes, it can be very draining.

[weysally]

no, but I try and help every one

[sheenagwapa]

that sounds exhausting

[FilmGuy93]

I haven't found that very exhausting thus far.

[Iron_Man]

No, it does not

[villainfantasy]

No. It makes me stronger.

[TrillXHippy]

Yeah it does a lot

[Avicenna]

Not really

[the-mad-german]

It would piss me off

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Sometimes..

[gingerguyslover]

It does