How do I tell my homeless sister and mother I can''t give them any more money?

[smahala1991]

Ever since November, my sister, mother, and my sister's boyfriend were evicted from their apartment; They have been staying in motels intermittently for the past four months. They keep asking my brother and me for money for a hotel room, cigarettes, and food. The thing is, my sister was recently arrested for possession of drugs in September. My sister and mom also get into it a lot physically. The cops get called, but nothing ever gets done. They do end up getting kicked out of motels a lot. Why don't they humble themselves and go to a shelter instead of asking for money. There are a lot of resources out there.

Updates

+1 y

I have told them I didn't have it for real but they keep asking and begging. When are they going to stop?

[Aerissa_Jade]

Be honest and blunt, best thing you can do. The fact that you started helping is what encouraged them to keep on asking.

I'm glad your responsible though and not the same as them, it is hard when someone you care about is a mooch, or a barnacle on the butt of society.

They will not believe you and continue to ask, and even if you don't have any money, if you have a credit card some people see that as cash... with no regards to paying it back.

Best of luck in this tough situation.

[jennifer_bloom]

I think food banks can take care of hunger and another idea I had was offering an old or disabled person help around the house in exchange for free or low rental payments. They might not accept the whole family, but maybe 3 or 4 people can live in 2 or 3 different homes as renters and house keeping assistants. My friend needed money for university so she worked as a nanny in Belgium for 5 years where she got free lodging and food along with a money bonus in exchange for babysitting kids.

[Chazmatazz269]

Peace are animals. You know what happens when you feed a homeless animal? You may never hear the end of it, especially since they’re family. Stay strong for your own sake and theirs. If you continue to help them, they’re far less likely to help themselves. If you want to show them some tough love, report them for vagrancy. Sometimes people don’t find the way to help themselves until they “hit bottom”.

[SCARRED]

reach out to the local homelass group

child protective services and the adult side or older services

or the cops or state police if someone in danger

or you feel that are in grave peril.

to play it safe make the call, and you care

it could be a bad call but they will check

it out for sure

SCARRED

[Sour-rose]

At this rate, ghost 'em. If they ain't getting the hint that you ain't or can't give them money, you gotta cut them off. I'm not in your family but seeing as if you have any money or food, a rat will come back again... and again... and again. And it will never stop until you just don't give them a damn thing but hard truth- there's nothing left.

[melanieeeB]

"I love you two and I wish all the best for you two, but this can't keep going on like that. I don't have money for you anymore but I can drive you to a shelter, where you can ask for help."

[Anemone978]

Stop enabling them... You got to be firm.. if they call you ignore it, if they come to your house don't answer... you just got to give them tough love... else they will never change..

[lightbulb27]

Sad and awful, never had to deal with this.

They need lots of counseling and security. In a shelter, but shelters often are not good. Motels are not expensive.

I don't know...

[AdithyaR]

At this point it sounds like they're taking advantage of you and your brother. You both need to stand your ground and refuse to give them anymore and tell them they need clean up their act and sort things out.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

This is the kind of relatives you SHOULD cut contact with. Now! If you help them, they'll keep asking and soon want more. Soon you will get involved and you life goes downhill as well.

[smahala1991]

In order to do that I would probably have to close all social media

[Fromdusktilldawn]

then do that

[Nikki1989]

You can only do so much. Tell them you have reached your limit.

[msc545]

Stop allowing them to take advantage of you. Tell them "I cannot and will not give you any more money" and stick to that. Anything else, and you are promoting and supporting their bad behavior.

[Anonymous]

Not having any money is expensive.

That is a terrible situation but you can't fix it and if you try it will destroy you.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Just tell them you are tired of dishing money to them.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Sometimes, you gotta put your foot down, even with family. Make sure your brother does the same.

[Agape93]

Just tell them. I wouldn't have helped em.

[smahala1991]

Even If I tell them It was my last bit they still ask

[Agape93]

Just tell them no more. You won't he helping them anymore.