How to not feel lonely when you have no friends around you or are too busy to talk with you?

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

I rarely talk openly with anyone. Rarely.

Sometimes, and I know this, sometimes, I feel really lonely, just because I don't talk with anyone open-heartedly. I don't express myself often.

There are classmates with me as well, who are doing internships but in different companies. But I get anxious with the mention of the mid-semester internship review.

I like reading books. But I don't even feel like reading them.

I get really anxious thinking that only I am the one who needs to do this. Whereas, every student is doing it. But the problem is, I don't talk with any of them. To share my thoughts and all. And that is why, I think, it is only me who is doing this. I need to bear all the weight.

So, how do you tackle your loneliness when you have no friends around you and the ones you have, are too busy in their internships or job to talk with you? Do you think they avoid me?

[virtual_girl]

My friends live far away from me. I'll either call them, email or message whatever it is they usually communicate through.

Otherwise I'll keep busy with hobbies, researching stuff or upskilling. Looking at the stars in case to catch a UFO is fun... So is sitting outside in silence with your eyes closed until you can hear the insects in the grass.

As for your peers I don't for a second think they are avoiding you. Everyone is just preoccupied in their own lives.

[virtual_girl]

But I'm also wondering, what do you do to put yourself out there?

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Upskilling seems the best for me. Researching too. I like reading articles or blogs on Medium and other blogging websites.
I like reading books because they are a really good source of vocabulary. But the problem is, they are not updated. So, I am inclining to blogs and articles.

But still, even if the techniques change, the principles don't, so I read books too, but only when I thoroughly research them first.

[virtual_girl]

I use the Kindle app to purchase books I'm interested in. You can also store your PDF book downloads to it. It's much cheaper than books and takes up less space. I use it on my iPad at home but when transiting or waiting around or whatever I can use it on my phone. I think it's a better use of time than scrolling.

I also used to find reading boring until I realised I hadn't found any genres I liked... Until I discovered I love research reports. Maybe you could dabble in some new genres you don't often read and it just might grip you :)

But if expressing yourself with others is what you're after then better put the book down

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

What do I do to put myself out there, you ask...
I don't... know... honestly.

I have found that people don't give you the weight you deserve if you make yourself available for more than necessary. I found the key is, not to forget yourself in everyday life. Keep me at the top of my priority.

That is one thing I can tell you for sure. Having experienced it personally.

I think listening more, talking less, and being genuinely interested in people is also the key to putting yourself out there. Without violating your personal security barriers. Is this practical? What is your believe?

[devilish-cutie]

you sould open to people you trust, if you dont trust them then you shouldn't open up. Sounds like you are the one mostly holding you back. Realize noone is perfect and everyone is different, stop putting ysf down for being who you are.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Yes, I am the only one holding myself back. I don't know how to react when I get criticism from the people I trust. How do I react then? That is also the problem. Being a closed person, now that I am going outside more, I don't know how to react to them.

I become a closed person again. It is more or less like a switch. 0 1 0 1 0 1...

I appreciate your comment.🙂

[devilish-cutie]

Migh seem blunt, but I would consider therapy, if not with therapist then reasearch ysf psychologically ways to help ysf and figure ysf out. Things like that can help you with criticism and why its an issue for you, how to accept ysf and not be too hard on ysf etc. Just a lot of self work.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

At least I got some direction from you. That is an improvement for me.😅 I will work on myself a lot. I don't want to be in this hole for much longer.
Anything else that may have come to mind just after hitting the Submit button?

[devilish-cutie]

One perspective that helped me a lot is nothing is sa it seems when it comes to other People. Things time, be kind n patient w ysf. Good luck!

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

sa meaning?

[devilish-cutie]

Nothing is as* it seems, autocorrect typo

[menina]

I used to have this feeling when I was in college. All my classes were with different people and sometimes I didn't know anyone. I ended up talking to more people either because I had to work with them or because we had to discuss a topic related to the class. So I can imagine how you feel.

If you feel bad for not talking to your classmates try approaching them. Take small steps whenever you get a chance. Of course, it's not easy to trust people and you will never trust everybody, but finding people who you can trust is always possible. Don't be too hard on yourself. You might end up being surprised by them.

[OlderAndWiser]

When I was younger and occasionally had those feelings, I would not buy many groceries at one time. This forced me to shop more often, and that provided a very limited form of social contact with others.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

So you created conditions where you were forced to have social interactions. With or without your wishes.

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes. On a very routine basis.

[WhitneySnow]

Try to focus on reading and maybe talk to people online

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

I am readin Atomic Habits now. And I ctrate s todo list for the day. It gives a sense of direction. What to do in the day and all.

But yes, I will focus on readiny books. As kuch as I can. No Netflix, or videos. Pure books.

Do you know any platform where you can talk with people?

[WhitneySnow]

This one. Or Snapchat.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Snapchat is new for me. I will try it out.

[WhitneySnow]

Cool