How do you handle loneliness, when you don't have any friends?

[Anonymous]

Updates

7 mo

How do you handle loneliness when you can't make friends?

[Anonymous]

I don't. As of right now my plan for life is to wait until my mom and dad pass away then I really just plan to finish my business get a shotgun and head for the woods with a nice whiskey and a cigar. Either that or in main street after writing a manifesto and then setting it up so when I do it I catch on fire when I hit the ground. I want to, want to live but I really just don't and once I have no family left I just don't see the point in life if I'm all alone. Do you have any idea what 20 years of being touch staved has done to my damn back? I have more pain in my back neck and shoulders from stress than some people in their 80s and my 65 year old dad has lower blood pressure than me! I would give a fucking lot just to have a life partner. I mean what am I supposed to do once my parents are gone? Just go the rest of my damn life and never be hugged again? Hell no I can't live like this.

[Asker]

I've been lonely for close to 45 years. I understand how you feel.

[Opinion Owner]

It's maddening. I'm either pissed off or depressed 24/7 I haven't been happy in years. It's not even that I'm not happy I'm actively miserable and lonely.

[Asker]

For me the pain comes and goes. But it usually hits me the worst when I'm tired, or feeling horny.

[Opinion Owner]

Believe it or not sex is pretty secondary to me. I mean yes, I want to have sex but when I'm feeling depressed, I'm not fantasizing about getting laid. When I daydream about it I'm thinking about things like snuggling on the couch, cuddling in bed back rubs and kissing. I've had sex and it was a nightmare. It was a one night stand after the closest thing I've ever had to a relationship ended, I'm still torn up about it she was the first woman I ever felt genuinely cared about me. Anyways yes I was on the rebound and hooked up with someone on Tinder.

I lost my V card and it was awful. One it was such a nightmare and so much of the date was spent with me alone in the hotel room while she went drinking and to see her sick mother who she hated. Honestly you can't even really call it a date it was really just a quick bang where I happened to by her a bracelet and lunch for like an hour before she disappeared until 3 AM. After that night it was such an awful awkward and depressing experience I swore off any sex with someone I don't love. I'd rather never get laid again than have loveless sex. I felt sick and empty after and regrated it immediately and now I feel like I gave away a part of myself I can never have back to a stranger.

[Asker]

I can't completely understand cause I'm still a virgin. But I understand that having a companion is more important than having meaningless sex.

[Opinion Owner]

exactly, that's the part that kills me inside.

[fish5505_87]

If you're serious? Ignore the comments below, if it were that easy you would be doing it. Take a step back, make a list of things you like doing, and things you like. Us the internet to find people who are similar. Therapy might be an option help. You are not alone!

[Asker]

I am on some forums where there are people with my same interests. However those people are not very friendly to me.

[fish5505_87]

Be patient, I'm sure you have something to offer. Don't focus on the negative feedback.

[Asker]

I'm 45 years old, and my whole life I've had so many problems with people, that I have a hard time trusting anyone, anymore.

[fish5505_87]

I think you need professional help! I wish the best for you!

[Asker]

I can't get that either. Thanks for wishing me luck.

[fish5505_87]

Thank you for the MHO, I am hopeful that things will get better! Hang in there!

[Nikki1989]

I have never understood how people become lonely. There are millions of people on this planet. Meet some. Simple!

[Asker]

It is more complicated then that. Some personalities just don't click other human beings. My personality doesn't click well, because I have a learning disability that effects some key elements about me, that seems to drive people away. I can't help it, because I do my best to be kind etc, and it's never enough for them.

[alice55]

I go on gag

[Vneila21]

I have been chronically lonely before, even with friends my age, I just felt empty. I kept ruminating on my past, and I did not have a stable childhood. I also have a disability. I've continually blamed myself for my disability because I was bullied. I put a lot of pressure on myself because I had many successes and overcame obstacles. These successes have made me a deep soul, that is why I get along with those older than me and I'm naturally curious. Now, I do not give a lot of energy to my past. I'm grounded in a strong relationship with The Lord. One reason is because He never left. The Lord's love will surround me all the days of my life.

[Asker]

I have a relationship with Jesus. But it isn't the kind of relationship I want it to be. I was trying to follow Jesus, when I was being bullied. Also got rejected from several local Churches. Now days I'm an independent Christian. Trying to work things out.

[Vneila21]

Well, that's good to hear! I have not really found a home church either. I like making connections but feeling people's energy can be overwhelming. What's important is that a life with Jesus does not need oversimplification and you can be as vulnerable as you need. Following Jesus is hard, but it's the difficult things that make us grow.

[Asker]

I think we are living in the last days, and that the Church might be falling apart as we get closer to the return of Jesus. Following Jesus is hard. I hope we both can find a Church home. Christian people can be helpful in getting through hard times. At least that is what I keep hearing in Christian podcasts.

[Vneila21]

Honestly, I get though hard times by talking to Jesus. Yes, people can shed light on difficult situations but what people give is temporary. Every interaction you've had is designed to teach you something. As long as you're talking about it, what holds you down can break off.

[Asker]

I pray a lot.

[Jove79]

Get into fitness:
Lift weights 3 days a week, every week.
Walk 10-15k steps a day.
Drink water all day.


Good healthy diet. No processed foods, no sugar, no sugary drinks. You’ll see your body transform into something great. Invest all that lonely time making yourself look and feel great.


After that, f you are single;
Once you invested in your body, invest in all new clothes and a slightly different style. Walk around town and talk to random chicks. Learn “Cold Approach”. It’s very fun socializing with people you never met before. If you are nervous or anxious, just keep trying until you see use to it.

[TheSpaceGnome]

By finding myself a woman to marry who is my "twin flame" mentally speaking.
Haven't found her yet, but I don't think anything else would help.

I've had so many friends over the years, but I ditched them all each time because I felt more lonely with them than without them.

[serious]

Well, one option is to become a workaholic. The second option is to always try to keep your mind and body busy to by doing some or the other activities even if they become repetitive.

Activities like swimming, going to gym etc.

[Asker]

There is a basic need for human companionship and those things only temporary hold off that need.

[serious]

@WonderingManII

I understand what you are saying but there is no easy answer to this. If you want to deal with that, eventually you will have to figure out a way.

[Asker]

At least life isn't forever. I'm religious, and believe in heaven, and I find myself, the older I get, looking forward to it. Cause I can't fix things.

[Makeushiver]

Learn to be comfortable by yourself is one way. Joining coed clubs like tennis, golf, etc. or taking evening classes at local community college.

[AnonAndrew]

Get some friends. :-)

[Asker]

I wish I could.

[Anonymous]

You can always try reading, or meditation.

[Asker]

After reading, and after meditation, loneliness will come back.

[Opinion Owner]

Then you can listen to music, or play video games...

[Asker]

I used to like music. But after using it to deal with my loneliness for 22 years, I'm tired of it. I don't have any video games to play.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe you can watch some movies, or tv shows?

[Asker]

I do that too, but none of these things takes the place of having friends.

[Opinion Owner]

Than the solution is simple, try to find more friends, or talk to some of your old friends.

[Asker]

If it was that simple, I would of done that years ago. Old friends won't talk to me. In fact I can't even get in contact with them. Trying to find more friends has proven impossible. Been trying for 22 years without good luck.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, I don't have any friends either, but meditation, music, movies, reading and video games are good enough for me.
Anyway, good luck, I hope you'll find what you're looking for.