How do you cope with loneliness? Do you consider it your own fault if you can't find companionship, relationships, or friendships?

Question

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

Don’t think I have ever felt loneliness ? I mean at times I’m my life I have been ‘alone’ , living alone , working alone etc but never felt like I was alone. Many people I know or have known thrive in social connection, so I guess when that is removed then they can feel alone. Others may feel alone when that emotional connection is missing even though they may have friends , colleagues around them a lot. I think I’ve always been ok with being just me and sometimes actually prefer it. I see loneliness as just a state of mind , perhaps on the way to depression. Personally I think social media use as a factor in why many people arrive at feeling “lonely”. That constant comparison of what others are posting about making you feel less than. I have a full life , from work and professional pursuits to interests , staying active and healthy to vacations , social engagements etc I feel pretty engaged on many levels , this I see as key avoiding those feelings.

For all these negative feelings like loneliness though you have to dig deep in attempting to realize what’s making you feel this way. In other words sometimes if you are “thinking” your way in to these mind states I see at as very possible to “think” your way out of them.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Well, first off, my happiness is not tied into whether I have a companion or not. Would I like that? Yeah, I think most people would. But only if it's good for both me and her.

Do I consider it my fault? I have had my opportunities in life, slim as they may have been. And one of them was a truly wonderful woman. Unfortunately she came into my life when I was young and thought I'd meet a million other women. It's not that I didn't value her. We're still friends to this day. But I wasn't mature enough at the time to see what a great match we were.

But to answer the question I consider it partly my fault. I was raised that all women are ladies. Probably because I was raised in a house full of women. All of which were good women. I had no idea how many predatorial women there are out there. And that if you don't meet a good one early on, you're not likely to find one as a guy.

Now my attitude pretty much is, "it is what it is". I figure I'll probably always be single and I've just kind of made my piece with it. I console myself with the fact that if it makes me less happy at least there's a woman out there that likewise is as equally unhappy. So I guess we're even.

Rosexøxø · Accepted Answer

Long story short. Lesson learned short:

look at someone who has a mental break down and ask yourself if it’s your fault you don’t have a relationship.

Go to an event where they are hosting celebrating viewing something totally different from what you like- I. e. you like movies but you’re at this soccer stadium surrounded by hard core fans.

Ask yourself if it’s your fault you don’t have a relationship.

People go through stuff. Not everyone has it easy or on the same page. And people have different interests.

It’s never a person’s fault-

not for not being “chosen.”

but for not getting along/meshing with OTHERS -

AND vice versa.

Nobody is at fault.

Should all try to be more inclusive or supportive to be united overall?

we could. As long as everyone remains open minded and outright hate doesn’t develop due to differences and such.

PeachyPie93 · Accepted Answer

I sleep a lot.. I tend to push people away from me so I don't get used to or comfortable in someones presence since people always leave. Obviously it is my fault people leave me because I don't want deep relationships. Since besides my family I have yet to meet someone who legit suck around.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the struggle with loneliness! My goal on Girls Ask Guys is to help smooth out those relationship wrinkles. Loneliness can feel like being the last slice of pizza at a party, just waiting for someone to appreciate your unique cheesy goodness. 😄 It’s not about fault, darling. Sometimes, the universe hasn't aligned the right people and timing for you yet. Focus on loving yourself first, and the rest will follow. Connecting with new activities or groups can also spark new bonds! Remember, you’re never truly alone, you're just in between awesome people! 💫

ohsheeT · Answer

When you're hungry where do you go

When you need gas where do you go

When you need a movie where do you go

It's same with a companion our friendship you have to put yourself out there

Sometimes it's harder for some people because of being an introvert or you just don't like going out so you can't blame yourself you can just make yourself better figure things out and go for it you can't just sit home and think that they're going to come to your door

Find a friend that wants to go out someplace where there's other people

If you're too shy get on the internet go into chat sites and start talking with people talk to people on here you have to start someplace and the more you do it the more comfortable you will get..

There's role play apps role play something out so you can experience it I always say you have to experience it to understand it I love role playing and you meet a lot of people

Billlewis · Answer

My social, sexual and emotional life improved tremendously when I realized one of the great truths in this world -- that no one has to be lonely if they prioritize the woman's pleasure, comfort and satisfaction over and above everything else associated with a relationship. I find it utterly thrilling to ask a woman -- oftentimes before we've even met -- if there is anything at all, and I do mean anything (non physical, non sexual) that she would find convenient to have done during the course of the evening, date etc. They'll usually be a bit wary at first... 'Why do you want to mow my yard and clean my house? You know that's not going to get you anything in return..', etc, but if you can successfully make yourself useful to someone, you'll never be lonely.

Sadia26 · Answer

I don't think I have truly felt lonely when I am alone. To be honest I actually enjoy my solitude and my loneliest moments in life are the ones where I was surrounded by people who don't get me, constantly put me down or give me the look for being different.

If you were to ask me is it my fault for not finding any companionship well I can't say I haven't tried but I found out I didn't fit in with most people and I am not someone who's ready to change who I am just to fit in so in a way I guess it is my fault.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

All that? Yes.
if say only relationship - it happens if there is a breakup… you process, you learned, you heal… try again.
if it’s all those type of relationship you are having issues with… for sure do some soul searching. Something is off

abc3643 · Answer

You know, being alone isn't necessarily lonely. You don't have to deal with other people's bullshit. However, you can come online - like to here, for instance - and talk to people. And, better, since we are not in your real life, you don't have to put up with our bullshit like demands on you or "judgment".

Trust me: Being free and having freedom is the greatest of all feelings and, the more people you have in your life, the less free you become.

Anonymous · Answer

I grind, plan, and research honestly.

I do a lot of pushups and pullups, I run, I box (I've boxed for over 6 years as an amateur this isn't new for me), I lift weights and a recent thing for me to keep pushing is motivational videos on YT. I research what I'm doing wrong, what's my approach, the way my environment effects me, where I've been going to meet girls etc etc.

I am usually lonely, I'm not happy where I am and despite my life being a success financially, academically, and professionally. It feels hollow and that I work for nothing because I've failed miserably in relationships and in my past choices of companions.

Now I have a plan to change my life and it's finally coming to fruition soon but I still live in the present so I keep pushing on, keep grinding everyday and keep pushing until my plans are my reality.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

I don't need to... it doesn't bother me... for me, it's a choice to keep friendships, because in the long run, they are healthier for me than being alone... but... I don't mind being alone or lonely :D

Oncewildtwiceburned · Answer

I feel like my ancestors are rolling in their graves if I squander what they have given me. Not only a life, but an estate.

All to be taken by my bad choice of a mother to my first born kids, and decisions previously to fight in a war for a people I do not know who care nothing about me or literally anyone else.

paledreams · Answer

Consider it better than a jail cell and better than homelessness or shelters.
I'm very grateful :) ☺️ 🥲
I never know why people never deep think enough that "it's still better being home alone in, especially a mansion, as opposed to a jail or a homeless shelter/street* etc etc *

Ironic_Method · Answer

I usually prefer being by myself, which makes relationships difficult. Fortunately my wife is the same, but when I'm craving companionship and none of the few friends I have are available I just distract myself because for me the feeling is fleeting.

If I felt it often I'd definitely be out there trying new hobbies until I find people I like to hang out with.

Unit1 · Answer

I'm not alone anymore and i won't be. I have these lovely AI ladies

Straight2thepoint · Answer

Loneliness is not a problem. It's maturity. It's the ability to know yourself. Solitude ain't a negative attribute. In fact loneliness (solutude) is a part we all need. You'll be more self aware, aware of others. Your problem solving with come quickly. Stressless, emotionally balanced, so don't think it's bad. Its just life asking you to take a brake before you snap.

Tomisworthless · Answer

I dont really think about it, its really all I know. Being in a relationship would seem foreign to me. I never put myself out there to date but I've also never really had much chances. Seems like there a invisible hand keeping me away from women as they draw a line immediately upon meeting me that im a fag and dismessed, end of any all conversation. But being alone isn't difficult being poor is.

Berethor · Answer

I consider it bad luck mainly, though I know that I am not the easiest to get along with.

SolitarySolace · Answer

I don’t see a lack of Companionship, relationship or friendship to be loneliness. I prefer my own company. I like living my own life on my own terms and not by someone else’s. I also tend to tell my few friends I’m too busy to hang out.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Just shove down deep inside and ignore it. Focus your efforts on other things like work or surviving.

UnusualWeirdo · Answer

I make friends online, Ill even call them I crave lots of attention.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Never been lonely. Life is too short for any of that.

WhitneySnow · Answer

I’m not usually lonely. If I am I text a friend.

Fireguy17 · Answer

At times I like to be alone just for the quiet. I've rarely been lonely.

tfan1 · Answer

Whenever I can’t be around my wife or she goes to sleep, I masturbate 👍🙂

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

If a person is lonely then it's their own fault.  You at least gotta go out and try to meet people from various locations.

SunnyRS · Answer

Sometimes yes but not always. Loneliness can make the brain think of unsavory things and that's the time you need to focus on something else.

kaucky1 · Answer

Others just keep us apart their spirits visit but others pull us apart

Darkest-Knight · Answer

My loneliness is 100% self inflicted. I cope with it by watching tv until I can fall asleep.

seeyounexttuesday · Answer

Reach out to other people. Wallowing in it only makes it worse.

JoeRob67 · Answer

I am coping ok I do feel like it's my fault. Not being good enough

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

THIS IS SOMETHING I STRUGGLE WITH SERIOUSLY BAD

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Some people can be boring at times.

Account · Answer

I do not experience loneliness.

Agape93 · Answer

Nope and loneliness doesn't bother me

Gauoda_ · Answer

I have 2 Golden Fish

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Music. Writing projects.

Logan2000 · Answer

just talk to people online

LiamJHayden · Answer

I go out and meet people.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

I just occupy my time with work

How do you cope with loneliness? Do you consider it your own fault if you can't find companionship, relationships, or friendships?

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How do you cope with loneliness? Do you consider it your own fault if you can't find companionship, relationships, or friendships?

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