Is this messed up of me? I tell my dad to stop asking me questions during movies and TV shows?

[Anonymous]

My dad is 70 and I am 28. He is hard of hearing and doesn't have the best eye sight but he has been asking questions and talking during movies/tv shows before my parents got married. So he has been doing it for a long time. Fyi he does sit super close to the tv and we blast the volume/have gigantic subtitles on.

When we are watching anything at all, my dad with ask me endless questions about what's going on or he'll start telling me a random story during the movie.

I've told him multiple times how much I hate it when he asks me questions and I always ask him to please stop and to ask one of my brothers who is there watching with us. But he never does, he always always asks me and he freaking never asks any of my brothers who would be fine taking ten minutes to explain what is going on.

I feel like he likes torturing and pissing me off. Like it's a boundary for me and he's always stepping all over it. I always tell him, "Don't ask me questions. No more questions. Stop asking questions." Other times I just straight up ignore him and that doesn't stop him because he'll start yelling at me "HEY I'M ASKING YOU QUESTIONS." I'm like "You know I fucking hate it when you are asking me questions? Why can't you ask literally ask anyone else who is fine with answering your endless questions?"

It annoys me and pisses me off when he talks my ear off. Most of the time I miss what's going on because I end up taking like ten minutes (literally) to explain something. Then when I go back to the show or movie I am completely lost. Why is he doing this to me?

Updates

1 y

I would just like to say to all those who say I will regret it. I don't get why I need to be punished and feel regret for a man that abused me all my life. I mean literally abused me and caused me so much pain. I am not in the position to leave. So I'm the bad guy? I'm the one that deserves a lifetime of misery because I didn't cater to a man that made me question multi times if I should live or die? So don't assume I'm some snot nose brat. I don't want this pain and I didn't ask for it.

Updates

1 y

By the way I don't need your pity, I just want you to know that I'm not trying to be a bad person.

[WindAtMyBack]

Does he have hearing aides? If not, hound him to get them. Sometimes old farts get stubborn about that sort of thing. Tell him they are WAY better and less visible than they were when he was young. They are barely even noticeable these days.

I don't think it's messed up of you to tell him to stop. That would be annoying and ruin the movie/show. If you are patient enough, you can watch it through on your own first, without interruption. Then watch it with him and answer all he wants.

There are also subtitles.

If he's asking stuff unrelated to the movie, that is really annoying and he should know better.

[molonski2]

Yeah , that would really piss me off too , but its kinda sweet at the same time.
I think he is trying hard , I think you have to give him something in writing , tell him you are happy to talk AFTER the movie , and please to write down any questions he has , because he is really destroying your wonderful movie moment.
Flower it up a bit by saying how important your relationship is etc , and present it to him ( Hard Copy ) with a pen , so he can write down questions.
Good Luck.

[Asker]

Lol so he can write down questions. You're so funny!

[molonski2]

Its the only way to SHUT HIM UP !

[sage2021]

I feel your frustration. My boyfriend makes loud comments about the things on the news, and then I don't get to hear what the newscasters are saying. So, I either tell him to hush repeatedly or I just hit the mute button until something comes on that HE wants to listen to. Then he has to ask me to turn it up so he can hear it.
Listening to your situation, sorry, but I wouldn't have any patience for such fruitless, crazy behavior.
I would have to get my own TV and hook it all up in my bedroom.
It's time for other family members to take over for you.

[sunflower00]

Oh this hurts my heart! I understand the frustration completely, but you can always rewatch movies and shows but you can’t get the time spent with your dad back. It sounds like he wants to speak to you and I would cherish the moments you spend with him! Some of the things you are saying come off as a bit disrespectful. I don’t know your situation though and if he’s a bad guy or something…but the guy is clearly struggling (with hearing etc.) and maybe feels bad about that already

[sunflower00]

I can imagine watching tv/movies probably isn’t the most fun activity if you have poor sight or hearing, it probably is really difficult to know what’s going on and a bit confusing. Maybe he’s even getting bored and just wants to chat :(

[sunflower00]

^ Omg that was meant to be a sad face not an annoyed face

[Asker]

We don't have the best relationship actually. From being abused by him but I live with him still. The house we live in is my house, I own it by my parents writing the deed in my name but I basically still live with my parents. They are old school, I don't leave until I'm married basically. But my dad is a narcissist and he hates women. He has shamed me for being a girl for as long as I can remember. Since he has gotten older, he has become a bit more tamed and less abusive. But I am scarred from the abuse that I don't like talking to him or interacting with him, I fear that he'll start abusing me again. So I try to stay away from him and I greatly feel uncomfortable around him it's hard to let go of the scars and enjoy his company. He always invites to go out to places with him like to the movies or to a restaurant. He's like "Wherever you want to go or do, I'll do it with you." I always turn him down I can't even imagine just the two of us hanging out by ourselves it's extremely awkward and uncomfortable. I need one of my brothers to come. Also I'm afraid he'll start attacking me for no reason or browbeating me for no reason. I'm scared of him, I don't trust him and I don't like him. I can see that he might be trying to turn over a new leaf with me even though he does sometimes abuses me. But I have so much PTSD that I don't want to be around him. Him asking questions during watching TV is like the icing on the cake of the shit he does

[Asker]

I started being a little nicer to him.

[Staximus]

You shouldn't take watching TV that seriously, it's not something worth getting mad about. It's make believe bullshit. You're being disrespectful to your dad. Go out to eat with him or take a walk with him, do something where he can talk without pissing you off. If my dad was still alive, I'd do stuff with him where we can have a conversation.

Nevermind your bullshit tv and spend some quality time with the old man before he's gone.

[Asker]

I'm sorry to hear about your dad 😥

[Jamie05rhs]

He's just trying to spend time with you and make a connection. It might be annoying, but he's not evil.

But hey, next time he does that, try this; ok? Pause the movie. Yes. Pause it completely. That way you won't miss any part of the show. And hopefully it will teach him to try to keep his comments to a minimum.

[JJ092003]

Why not just pause the movie when answering him?

[Asker]

Sometimes it's a show where you can't pause it. Other times I don't have the patience/desire to answer him. I know it would take over an hour to watch a episode. I just wonder why he bothers me and why he doesn't ask someone else? It's like he's sadistic and wants to see me suffer because he knows I hate it

[JJ092003]

Maybe. But he is old. Hopefully you don't miss him asking you questions when he passes away one day

[NostalgiaSenpi]

So pause the fucking program! He's seventy years old, you dumb broad! Wait until he drops dead, then you're going to wish he was asking you questions.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

would just like to say to all those who say I will regret it. I don't get why I need to be punished and feel regret for a man that abused me all my life. I mean literally abused me and caused me so much pain. I am not in the position to leave. So I'm the bad guy? I'm the one that deserves a lifetime of misery because I didn't cater to a man that made me question multi times if I should live or die? So don't assume I'm some snot nose brat. I don't want this pain and I didn't ask for it.
Blah blah blah. You withhold information and expect people to have sympathy for you. You're lying. If you weren't, you wouldn't have withheld it to begin with. You would have presented the facts.

[Asker]

Not everyone wants to broadcast every tiny detail of their life. I didn't think I would get attacked. Plus it's not a good feeling/it's hard to be vulnerable about sensitive stuff like this. It's ok if you don't want to believe me and honestly you lack of faith in people makes me question the kind of life you've had/ the people you have interacted to make you so cynical. I respect your opinion even though it was extremely hurtful. Your comment honestly made me cry because it get me so bad. But God be with you. I wish you happiness

[Asker]

Because it hurt me so bad*

[Drumlin2001]

When he's dead you'll miss it.
Do you still live under his roof?

[Asker]

I own the house

[Anonymous]

You want to know what the worst part is?

When he dies you will be sad that there isn't an annoying old man asking you stupid fucking questions when you are trying to watch the tv.

[SoJust]

Are you serious , if you serious, you are dady crazy , i think you dady change

[KrakenAttackin]

How about you get your own place to live? Another ungrateful female.