What Do You Think I Should Do?

[anon1903]

so my darling brother is mad at me. darling, because we are as close as twins despite the age gap, please don't imagine weird things.
anyways, i didn't let him use my charger and i use his charger all the time and mom thinks im kinda selfish here but that's it. then he locked himself in a room, went out to meet his friend, didn't meet his said friend and brought me fast food from the place his friend is working at. and he looks gloomy, his phone is charging but not efficiently and he's pretending everything's okay.

i wouldn't care so much if it were anyone else, but it's him. i don't him to bottle up his emotions. i'm worried. i can change my mind about the charger but... i'm like most boys he's gonna get angry and explode. mom specifically asked me to "let it go".

but as a psych student slash feminist slash a darling sister, i fucking can't. what do i do?

[Vázquez613]

It seems like you're in a difficult situation with your brother, and I'm sorry to hear that. It's clear that you have a close relationship with him, but there's currently some tension between the two of you over a charger issue. Your mom has asked you to let go of the issue, but as a psych student, feminist, and a caring sister, you're having a hard time doing so.

It's understandable that you're worried about your brother's well-being, especially since he seems to be bottling up his emotions. It's important to recognize the importance of acknowledging and processing our emotions, especially in close relationships with loved ones. While the charger issue may seem like a small matter, it's clear that it's about more than just a charger.

It may be helpful to approach your brother with empathy and understanding, expressing your concern for him and asking how he's really feeling. It's possible that he may still be angry about the charger, but it's important to listen to his perspective and validate his feelings. It's important to prioritize your relationship with your brother over any temporary disagreements or material possessions.

Ultimately, it's clear that you care about your brother deeply, and I believe that you will find a way to navigate this situation with empathy, understanding, and love.

[SnowedIn]

I am, quite possibly, missing something here. That said, remove all the extraneous information from your decision making.

You made a choice about the charger. Either you had a good reason (some badness or harm would come to him from it, or he has a history of not returning them, etc.) or you had a bad/vindictive/selfish reason for it.

In my mind, then, the choice becomes simple and binary: if your reason was good/sound/etc. then don't let him use the charger. Mom and all the other reasons are irrelevant, his behavior included.

If your reason was bad/wrong/mistaken, then let him use the charger. His reaction/behavior, mom, and all the other reasons are irrelevant here too. Just do the right thing.

Again, very possible I've missed something, but I think the choice is fairly simple.

[anon1903]

It ruins chargers when they are used by different devices.

[SnowedIn]

Easy answer: HELL NO. :)

[anon1903]

Ah. ()

[SnowedIn]

Seriously. The emotion isn't part of it. When it damages your stuff, the answer is no.

The answer to mom is, do you want me to drive your car if my doing so would damage it? Etc.

[anon1903]

Mom can't drive. But point taken.

[Koneko911]

Just let him use the damn charger or let it go. It's not a big deal

[Koneko911]

And please stop talking about your brother like you two are dating... it's weird to keep saying darling and how sweet he is. He's your sibling

[anon1903]

He's a sweet person.

[anon1903]

And darling is used for all kinds of favorites. The other day, my professor called my best friend her darling. Is she a lesbian in your opinion?

[Koneko911]

Lesbian no. But a teacher shouldn't refer to a student like that. They're a teacher not a friend or parent

[anon1903]

Funny how she's the least problematic teacher of all

[Kaneki05]

Over here we call people Love. And guess what in most cases it don't mean we love them lol. You need to learn that in culture people say such words not meaning shit.

[anon1903]

The thing is, some people like endearments and nicknames and some do not.

I'm the former.

[Koneko911]

Problematic and using inappropriate terms for students don't have to coexist. She can be 100% fine but it's still not appropriate for a teacher to refer to a student as her darling. She's a student

[Kaneki05]

Love ya need to calm down.

[anon1903]

@Kaneki05 she really does

[anon1903]

Problematic and using inappropriate terms for students don't have to coexist. She can be 100% fine but it's still not appropriate for a teacher to refer to a student as her darling. She's a student.

Why won't you accept people have preferences and boundaries?

[anon1903]

Because you don't like it you'd label it as inappropriate? Hmm.

[QuietVerbena]

Talk to him. Is there a reason you won’t let him use your charger?

[anon1903]

It ruins chargers when they are used by different devices.

[QuietVerbena]

Explain that to him. Tell him it’s not because you don’t love him. Maybe even offer to buy him his own charger (I don’t think they’re that much).

[lightbulb27]

Question is why are you messing with your brother and not sharing? He's trying to make peace with you and you are holding a grudge. why? you are the psych student, you should know the Johari window... you can't see your own motivations so well.

Maybe you need Jesus in your heart so you are motivated by love rather than some other underlying emotion of... is it... spite?

Are you the narcissistic, manpulative, "darling" sister?

I think you feel guilty... why?

[NathanDavis]

I'm the only one person in a group of family that has never ever broken the original charger... not one, not once

yet, I'm the one that had bought the most new chargers, yes... because family kept borrowing them or keeping them, it's a middle child thing...

I just bought six new "heavy duty" chargers for each, and those have lasted way more... so far, anyway

two of them are already lost though, lol

[call_me_scar]

So why didn't u give him your charger I let my coworkers use mine, when your brother went out why didn't he buy a new one they sell them at just about every store I've been at and 3rd buy him and your self some new chargers if the plug is different get a charging stand thing

[Kaneki05]

One should give what they get otherwise it's a double standard. If I asked my mate for Energy drink so he got me, why would I refuse when he asks?

[anon1903]

😭😭

[Agape93]

Sit him down and have a heart to heart. See what's actually upsetting him.

[exitseven]

What's the bug seal b about a phone charger, ? Buy another one and give him your old one

[anon1903]

He has my old one

[anon1903]

It's night. The shops are closed.

[exitseven]

As a long term plan just let him use the charger.

[Luffy1990]

You Ever talk to him about it , and share more often

[shortster]

Get him some tasty food and apologize.

[anon1903]

He got me tasty food and I don't know if he wants to talk about it

[shortster]

He clearly wants to improve the situation. Good food is the default love language for all guys.

[anon1903]

Ohh. He's so sweet 😭😭😭

[Debbie14217]

not sure