What do you think I should do?

[Anonymous]

i live in the middle east my childhood was terrible, i used to fight with my family all the time, i stabbed 3 people before when i was 10 years old, 13 years old and 17 years old, I carry a bayonet with me when I go out and I think people are making fun of me, I suddenly want to stab the bayonet into their heart what do you think is my problem, I suffered a lot of violence at school when I was a kid and I was excluded.

[lightbulb27]

I'm sorry to hear about your life, it should not be like that. Everyone has some challenges, but you described awful environment. This can happen anywhere in the world and is based upon parents and environment growing up in. It's very sad to hear it still happens.

You are a normal human being, it is not your fault, you didn't ask for any of that. You have been traumatized by shame and fear put upon you by other people and responded. Children are supposed to receive nuturing, love from parents, support to grow through stages of development so they are healthy physically, emotionally, and their heart spirit. There is the you... your personality. Some people are more sensitive.

What can you do.
Recognize - others have been through similar and draw inspiration from them. read their stories, videos
Heal your heart- practice meditation, gratitude, thankfulness, kindness. There is no shortage of this.
Heal - You need to heal your heart and mind so that you can rise above the abuses you endured in early life and live your best and complete life. Readup on trauma and look at solutions to overcome it. One is writing, but doing so in positive ways.
Support - find support around you or online or therapists, friends.
Faith - Seeking comfort in a loving God, which is Jesus. Love is what heals inside and what every child seeks.
World view - as you heal and start to see other people differently, your hate can turn to compassion for them. Read dalai lama book, read what Jesus wrote or others that inspire your heart to betterment and understanding people. Being able to reach out with love will be healing and feed you. Connection with others... is what you seek. You were trained to be afraid and hurt by them, which is why you lash out. Normal... just not who you want to be. There is a better you inside.

I read a book buy a fella that sounds a lot like you. If you want to read it for inspiration, I'll try to look up the name. He was hurt by his father leaving, went into a gang, beatup and killed people, prison. He was "saved" by finding Christ... his broken heart, and now he goes into prisons to talk to prisoners to save them. The problem in the world is our broken hearts... people give what they ahve, people around you gave you hurt and it keeps getting passed around until someone breaks the chain.

[Asker]

This fucking society ostracizes me and talks sarcastically behind my back, they should all die in pain and their children die in pain.

[lightbulb27]

that's how it feels, hate. normal. and I don't blame you. You aren't the first person (or diety) to wipe out people for what they did wrong. what society?

You can respond to what they gave you, which is misery, and give it to others. That's how it works... someone hurt you, so you go hurt others... and the cycle repeats. They will hurt others.. new victims. What you got was passed down from prior generations.
Or
You heal your heart, see beyond to a greater good and work for a better way. Others before you have done that. It's the hard work.

This is why the world is such a mess. And it's so easy to hurt another human being that impacts their life. To do good, to love, be considerate, that takes work. But it is much better.

Consider your life... let the tears go and heal. But if you have to fight for freedom, I get that.

Your greatest wound becomes your greatest strength when you rise above it.

[lightbulb27]

"making fun of me" - you may be delusional at this point or highly sensitive. Happens with trauma. Again, you have to heal your over stressed mind/heart... that is the way out. Practice the things I noted as a start.

[ibodi]

Maybe you got hurted when the first case but you should tell if people made fun of me. It is like an Uzbek girl come here she could not understand the language, She though our women laugh at her, She stabbed them almost but maybe they are ugly that are easy to think so. That everyone would think like that. No matter what
They are shit and talk negative among themselves even. They would do that on their best friend too. Then you know that is not your problem. It is their spirit so. Skid row 18 and life is like that too. you should notice the relationship. I guess Jesus is like the person to give them amazing experience so they are like sheeps, We have proverb The peach and the plum do not speak, yet a path is born beneath them. That can not speak out because it is like symbols as American think chinese is enemy atheist. Maybe like crusader you know that.

[Asker]

I live in Turkey and I am not a woman and I am an atheist, mine is a very different situation.

[ibodi]

I know our novel describe turk as crafty but I never take it serious. Even Uighur know it. Here are turks saying the situation is alike. I think they are good at respond it they just choose in good way.
I saw Uighur youtuber sign a contract then never appear again but I also watched another Uighur youtuber say she does nothing after sign a contract that uighur agent said let us develop uighur spirit then happen dispute thing maybe just stop her coming up so we would watch another uighur video. So I am worrying about her. Although uighur is polite and earnest now but their young video are still sarcasm as novel describe. I think they know that too. I also learn to experience life's ture meaning throught many events.

[Daniela1982]

Oh God! The trolls are going off the deep end now. If this clown is actually real and not just some dumb ass troll, then he needs to reside in solitary confinement so he hurts no one

[InvoluntaryCelibate9]

I don't blame you. I want to stab a lot of people too. But you must fight back the urge to do that because it could be you walking through the street and someone randomly stabs you. Imagine how you would feel

[Asker]

I will be happy if he does something like this, it adds excitement to my life.

[jshm2]

No wonder you were excluded. You are fucking nuts!

[Iron_Man]

Go to church

[Asker]

there are only mosques in and I tried I don't believe in the Quran but I never tried the church

[Iron_Man]

Come to America

[Asker]

I don't know how to come to America

[Iron_Man]

Find a way

[Anonymous]

Go to therapy