How would you react if you made a new friend and then they mentioned that they're trans?

Question

Either the topic of trans people just hasn't come up before, or they mention it in some other relevant discussion like that of childhood or dating, and so that's how you find out after you've already gotten to know them a bit and started becoming friends.

How would you react if you made a new friend and then they mentioned that theyre trans?

At that point would it surprise you since you didn't know? Would it make a difference how you interact with them moving forward, or would you just accept it and continue as before? Would you be angry they didn't mention it sooner even though there's not romantic interest? Would you even stop being friends because they're trans, even though you have been getting along well so far?

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I used to be friends with a married couple. The husband decided he wanted to transition and his wife was okay with it. I actually met them after he had fully transitioned and only learned about it later. You could tell he had once been a guy.
I had no problem calling him Robin and treating "her" like a woman.
Anyway, they are both really cool people. We are still friends but haven't seen each other in years.

I met guy named Conrad several years ago. We used to talk a lot and even played some music together. He's a super cool guy and an awesome musician. He's also a professional sound engineer. He plays cello and does some crazy electronic shit on an electric cello. He backed me up one time on an acoustic cello to play "Lean On Me".
He is short and I later learned that he had been a girl. It made no difference to me.
He moved away and we lost touch.

Neither Robin nor Conrad are "out". They just want to blend in as their chosen gender.

So I guess it depends on the person's attitude and personality, and the kind of friendship we had.

If they promoted their trans-sexuality or were militant about trans rights, I wouldn't associate with them because, at this point, I am totally done with this trans rights movement. I don't even associate with "woke" people anymore.

CaptainOverthink · Accepted Answer

I tend to judge people on their character not their group identity, so regardless when they mention it, I won't pay it no mind. In fact, I won't make it a thing unless they do. I'm generally not convinced on the scientific grounds for the trans movement, which mostly has little to no actual grounds, so they shouldn't mistake my respect to them for being anything else than who they are personally.
But likewise I have plenty of friends that hold opinions that I disagree with, it's just not that important to believe the same things.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I had an employee whom I was friends with outside of work. When I left the job I tried to keep up with her, but she deleted her social media and went MIA. A full year later I got a friend request from some guy and I almost deleted it, but she, now he, sent a message like this is who I am now, they understood if I no longer wanted to be friends but they weren't going to pretend to be someone else. I was shocked, now he, never mentioned anything, never said they wanted to transition, nothing in the 4 years we worked together. I understand we were in different circumstances because at the time I was 'her' boss, but it was shocking to me at first mainly because I'd known her as her, but life's crazy for all of us. I'm glad he's happy now. The old co-worker friend group all still remain good friends with him. I can't imagine what it takes to come out like that and make that change. I may never understand why, but it's not my life. All I can do is be the friend I would want to be if the situation was reversed and that's it.

Genie23 · Accepted Answer

It's okay. I'd still consider of him/her as my friend. I don't care about my friends gender or sexuality. Whatever it is, they're friends to me. However, I'd be upset if we became close friends and they hid it from me for months or longer because I would feel like they didn't trust me enough all these months but I'd let it go someday snd and continue to be friends.

ManOnFire · Answer

Wow, great question. So far this has only happened to me online. I used to have some social media friends who always did seem like something was different about them in their pics, and they would finally come out and say they were trans. Two of them were men who went female, and one was a girl who went male. I still stayed friends with them, but all of them oddly fell off social media over time and I never got a response to my last DMs to one of them.

In real life? That hasn't happened yet, and not sure it would because in person I can always tell when someone is trans. I have a knack for figuring it out. There has only ever been one case where I got fooled completely: a young tiny Hispanic guy who was really a girl. She had the whole male get-up and everything. Guess I got fooled by that one cuz she was still at that age where a boy can look somewhat feminine, so she got away with it lol.

Valkyria · Answer

Depends on how they treat themselves and others. If they are impulsive and can't rationally think or believe in a bunch of lies and nothing you say will make them even consider your thoughts, that they end up attacking you for it and whatnot, then absolutely not. This can be said for anyone who's like that, but there does seem to be a correlation with the online trans people.

I'm close with someone who is trans but their sole personality trait is whining about the patriarchy and complaining all of the time with a bunch of buzzwords, it's saddening.

EricSummer · Answer

That's no issue, and I would not make a big deal about it. If the new friend wants to talk about it more I listen. I would certainly not make the blunder to ask them anything about their private parts.

This is for "just a friend". Now, for a love interest I have to admit I would mind and I would refrain from any advances. Obviously, this does not require any specific action and we could still be friends.

When it comes to sexuality I'm just not that flexible. Sorry about that.

Jersey2 · Answer

I would be okay with it but confused a bit. Overall I am not happy that trans people are turning the world upside down to meet their needs, it’s nuts. They freak out about everything and get violent and annoying as hell.

Be trans but be quite. We all don’t need to get wrapped up in your world by having a nuclear reaction that you aren’t treated like a biological female/male all the time. You’re trans, not a biological female/male there IS a difference and nothing will change that so deal with it. I know someone well who transitioned but not full surgery, yet I guess. I still have problems with the he/she aspect, not on purpose but it’s ingrained. She is a good person but very selfish so I wonder if that’s a group trait given how the group interacts with society.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I would be fine, if they are good friend, then why would I look at them any differently?

Being trans may be who they identify as, but, that is just a small part of who they actually are. As long as they can be natural about it, and not bring it into every conversation, then neither would I.

I don't bring my sexuality into everyday conversation, so things should proceed as normal.

TheIrishWolf · Answer

I'd gently break off because their values don't align with mine. Theyre highly illogical and dangerous to society (and not in a physical sense). We shouldn't live in a world of pretending.

I don't want the people in my life to be influenced by their ideology, especially if I had children. I would disassociate.

Anonymous · Answer

I have a friend who came out as trans and lost his wife / marriage. He (now she) is still my friend, and I'd like to think always will be. She's not the sort to freak out if I refer to her by her old name, "dude" or something else, because she knows it's a hard habit to break and there's no malice in my mistake.

FifiJones · Answer

I find it hugely traumatic and traumatising to even consider someone cutting off tgeir genitals and calling that an 'identity'.

It isn't possible to change natal sex/gender, only to get butchered, implanted fake genitals into and pumped full of hormones to make it appear it is different.

I think some of it is done as punishment for sexual crimes, rather than being sent to prison for years, without it being said. Even more gruesome and disturbing.

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

I’m fine with them being trans as long as they don’t judge me for being racist

some folks wear their hats way off to the side with their pants Down low and a gun tucked inside take their beer by the 40 and their chicken deep fried

“I think we all know who we’re talking about”

helbigarthur · Answer

Wouldn't care were all people. More people need the same sight your not them you don't have to be around them if you don't want to. But befriend them they might be more like you than you think a close friend is Trans and honestly there more like me personality wise than anyone else.

Jess_D · Answer

I had a coworker who transitioned female to male. I am still friends with him. We don’t talk as much as when we worked together but that’s mainly because he now lives in Florida and I still live in Ohio.

Ez-Bri-Z_v2 · Answer

It wouldn't change anything for me. I already have several trans friends as it is so what's one more?

JustinTheGreat · Answer

I wouldn’t care. I have a couple trans friends but I’ve known they were trans since I met them.
But even if they never told me, It wouldn’t change how I feel about them if I found out later in the friendship

coachTanthony · Answer

I seriously doubt I wouldn't know that they were trans from the get go but in case I didn't for the hypothetical... no I would not stop being friends with them.

Emii_Urashima · Answer

I have 3 close friends that are trans. It is not a big deal in my culture. Asian cultures don't make everything "taboo" like western cultures do.

Luckycharms12 · Answer

Don't care wouldn't be for me but each to there own

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I am friends with a trans person. She's a great individual. She has good character, and she is compassionate and loyal.
She has since cut off her breasts and grown facial hair. Which I feel is sad. I'm sad that she didn't feel like she had value as a woman.
I still care about her, though, and she's still my friend.

NamerOfStars · Answer

I probably wouldn't care. Unless one or both of us is pursing a romantic angle, the way I treat people isn't really influenced by their gender.

Red-Blaze · Answer

Will not change anything beside how I call out to them maybe I mean it dose not change who they are in the end

JessicaEarl · Answer

If I like them, I like them. Being friends is different than finding out your significant other is trans

Thatpearl26 · Answer

Don’t see a problem with it as long as they don’t try to convince me to become trans.

DermalPunch · Answer

Yes, that would be a problem. I wouldn't continue a friendship with them.

WhitneySnow · Answer

I’d be cool with it, maybe even a little curious

Whatthefluff · Answer

Wouldn’t really make a difference. It’s not my life to live.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I doubt that I would get to the point of thinking of someone as a friend without making this realization.

notwoke · Answer

I'm sure I'd have too little in common with this sort of person for a friendship to ever start growing. Especially when they hear my comments of current events such as this

Anonymous · Answer

Well I'd be a little surprised at first because I thought they were born as the gender they identify as but after I got over the little bit of shock I'd be alright with it

Anonymous · Answer

I'd know before it even came up. People must be real dumb if they can't see it. It is so easy to tell. Always something off in the behaviors and tell-tale signs in the physical features.

clampfan101 · Answer

I don’t support lgbt, but I don’t hate those who do and am open to be friends with them. However I still would not date one.

BrookeS · Answer

@louna3456 I have a trans friend on here and I still love her. She is a great person who everybody should get to know.

AngryCarl2 · Answer

I wouldn't dump a friend because they were trans. Whether I would have become friends had I known before is another matter.

MsElizabeth96 · Answer

If we're only friends them being trans won't really make any difference to me

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

I wouldn't care in a friend. That's their business.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

I don't think it would make a difference in how I see them.

Lunatic1 · Answer

I honestly wouldn't care, I became friends with a transgender person in the past and didn't know for over a month

OnlyMeee · Answer

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Were all different any unique in our own ways, what's to be angry about.

Minahh · Answer

I don't judge people like that. I'm fine with being a friend with a trans person if there are no romantic intentions.

Nikki1989 · Answer

What difference would that make?

corsetedsissi · Answer

Well I myself am a mtf so it wouldn't bother me at all yes I am bisexual but who cares I have cocks as well as pussy at the same time I love it so do my lover's

Anonymous · Answer

If they’re just a friend, I don’t think it would really matter. It would only matter if I was dating a woman that really wasn’t a woman then it would be over.

Anonymous · Answer

Guys are just too paranoid and sacred they might go on a date or bring a girl home that didn’t tell them she is a trans. In a nutshell they are scared the tables could turn and they get dicked. lol

TheeTrybrid · Answer

Idc if they're transgender , actually I'd be happy they were feeling safe enough to tell me

Fuentes · Answer

They wouldn't be my friend but we can still be acquaintances

Jltakk · Answer

Not my favored life choice, but it's not for me to decide.

HowardB · Answer

I wouldn’t bother me and I’ll be there friend. Only time I got a problem with it is when it’s a woman I want or love and they reveal it in due time

John_Doesnt · Answer

I would ask how Heather Swanson feels.

Aliciaissocool · Answer

I wouldn’t care, just as long as they’re not doing it to seem cool on TikTok

Agape93 · Answer

Like, ok, don't really care.

DevikaButts95 · Answer

Doesn't matter much if it's just friends.

Astarlessnightsky · Answer

Don't care. They are still the same person.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Oh! Cool! What kind of music do you like?

fonduegirl · Answer

It doesn't matter. They're still my friend 😊

blissinanarchy1 · Answer

I’d recommend them to a psychiatrist.

serious_miss419 · Answer

Why does it matter. What’s the point

htmndg183 · Answer

Doesn't matter. A friend is a friend.

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

To weird for me im out

Anonymous · Answer

Nice knowing ya.

nawtee_me · Answer

friendships come and go all of the time...

How would you react if you made a new friend and then they mentioned that they're trans?

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How would you react if you made a new friend and then they mentioned that they're trans?

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