If ur partner has announced u that they’re transgender, how would u take this?
- 1 mo
I'm straight, so that would not be OK for me to stay in the relationship, sorry. They can do their own thing or whatever floats their boat. But I would move on.
Also, I can try to be objective all I want, but the truth is that I'd be devastated. If we had a family together, and my husband suddenly does that? It would be difficult to understand how someone could be so dishonest and selfish toward not just me, but our kids. I'd be dealing with some serious anger, disgust, and pain. I would be angry at myself for missing the signs and drive myself crazy trying to figure out what I missed during the dating stages. I would struggle to trust a man after that.
I know a family this has happened to, and it's awful. The kids hate their dad and want nothing to do with him/her. The mother is a person who always sees the best in people and she tries to keep it balanced. The dad has no respect for anything he left behind and is very antagonistic and in their face. The kids don't want to go over to his house.
520 Reply- 1 mo
The question is not about transitioning though, it's about dating someone who already transitioned, so it does match with your sexual orientation
- 1 mo
@Maybe_Maybe_not and being trans implies they went through transitioning. Are we gonna start denying the obvious here? We are all born either biologically female or biologically male, at least for the most part that's how its supposed to be for the species to reproduce and stay alive. People wanna play god these days and change their body, that's their trauma to deal with later. But to impose this on their partner is simply disrespectful of their boundaries, and to hide something so important... well that's no better than lying and breaking any possibility of building healthy trust. People are ACCOUNTABLE for their actions, even if they want to pretend otherwise.
- 1 mo
@Maybe_Maybe_not That's a good point. But I would not date or marry an AFAB to begin with, and the question is non-specific enough that I think it's still relevant. Based on personal knowledge of the aforementioned situation, the person did "announce" that they were transgender and then proceeded with their transition.
- 1 mo
It has nothing to do with playing gods, unless you believe that gods have an agenda about that. And it's your belief, I don't see why trans should care about your belief. They already have theirs, and it doesn't come from nowhere either.
For transition to be even feasible technically it requires a very complex cooperation of ethics, medicine, psychology, psychiatry and legislative power. So it's not exactly a one time rebellious thing, it's in fact quite socially accepted, given the aforementioned cooperation needed.
So the obvious thing to me right now is that you want to shove your personal belief in someone's throat, by force. As you can see, it's not going to happen easily. - 1 mo
@real
Well, that's a matter of how this question has been phrased, transgender term doesn't assume here that transition is about to happen, transgender is a state, after transition. Not before, otherwise it would not be invisible - 1 mo
@SnowyOwl Agreed. And many people consider themselves trans and don't or haven't yet gone through the actual external transition.
I think there are cases of undescended penises and other sexual anomalies because it's been well-documented. I disagree that the anomalies make a person the completely wrong gender, though, particularly on the massive scale that is assumed.
Thanks for the support. I would be totally shamed and humiliated if a person pulled something like this on me. - 1 mo
@Maybe_Maybe_not I think there's room for both perspectives; the phrasing is ambiguous and implies a sudden disclosure. "Announced", for example.
- 1 mo
@Maybe_Maybe_not if you're gonna date someone you should care about respecting them and their boundaries. That builds trust, and that's the foundation of a healthy relationship.
God's having agendas, well that's a foolish way to try to diminish my comment. Are you gonna deny then that it requires female and male to reproduce in nature? Before human intervention and all these overly-complicated methods we adopted, nature did its own thing and humans reproduced in accordance to the laws of nature. Do you wanna deny that is the natural order of reality? That in nature it takes female and male for reproduction of humans. Deny it by all means, it's your "choice", your "right", as is delusion. And there's a lot of normalized delusion out there, so no wonder a lot of people are confused. I mean furries became a thing? Lol, whether someone chooses to clown around, or actually believes they have a thing 'animal-human avatars', "identifies" with such as the buzz word goes... well, its not something I will spend time to figure out.
I find it far more noble to seek natural, objective, truth than to overcomplicate our perception of reality. AGENDAS are not a thing of nature (not to say God again, as it triggers some people), these 'agendas' are only human created. Each country has their own, so it's not surprising to hear so many unrealistic things when everyone is looking at reality through their own corrupted lenses.
Objective truth should be sought by one who wishes for peace. Simple as that. And you may not understand that now, but I say this for any spectator right here. Everyone deserves peace of mind. - 1 mo
@TheRealPepperPotts, true anomalies and mutations occur in nature. The etymology of anomaly implies "away from the norm". There are anomalies or mutations which impede reproduction, which is why those traits cannot be widely spread. I'm taking the opportunity of your comment to share this tho certainly a lot of people know this (:
Because of trends, agendas, turning anomalies into more widely spread phenomenons, ratios in the population which are "this" or "that" will probably be skewed from what is the natural order of reality, if the information they ask for is superficial.
A school reporting 90% of their students are LGBT is not normal. Kids are afraid at this point, and others will be scarred for life. For the sake of a trend, an agenda.
So back to your original comment. Yes, it's important to defend one's boundaries. You will always have yourself to count on! - 1 mo
Snowy
So you're lecturing trans about what they should do and lecturing me for what are relationship boundaries now, seriously?
Do all people look like kids needing guidance from you?
If you believe in nature laws then you should offer yourself to feed the next predator because that was the plan initially, as you can see nature's plan went wrong, we have invaded the whole ecosystem. There is no predator left, except us and viruses.
I don't even need to address the rest of your monologue since all you want to say is: "I deny existence to whatever doesn't fit the idea I have of what things should be, based on the high value I grant to my personal opinion". I've seen these views a million times already, just the same boring lack of empathy coming with a grandiose but flat moral bullshit.
When your heart is dry enough to not recognize people's suffering and when your brain is just masturbating with morality. I understand your pleasure with yourself but I don't find it arousing at all.
Have fun without me.
- 1 mo
- 1 mo
@Maybe_Maybe_not I can see this was upsetting for you. I'm sorry about that. This is a complicated and distressing topic for many people on both sides of the issue.
- 1 mo
@real
It is extremely upsetting indeed to see the same pattern happening over and over, 24/7, when obsession with morality comes into play then there is no room left for what really matters: People's suffering.
Excuse me but I see just one side in distress here. The one concerned by the topic. Whatever random preacher's distress is misplaced because they don't have a voice in the matter, they are outside, tampering with concepts they neither rationally understand nor emotionally feel. They just want to rule the world with empty souls and uneducated judgement. For thousands years and beyond they keep popping up. It has to be damn upsetting yes
- 1 mo
@Maybe_Maybe_not if you think there's just 'one side' that suffers then pretty egotistic.. All humans suffer.
The way you answered my earlier comment, all I'm gonna say is life is not all about sex and who you wanna have that with. Ik we're worlds away so can't really say much else.
Maybe people could find peace of mind if they sought peace, instead of being hyper focused on ideas that bring them confusion..
Everyone suffers, so no need to play victim. Just because I'm confident about certain things does not make you right in judging me as "dry hearted".
And to make it clear, you can judge me or anyone, but I don't care about that, all I try to do is talk about ideas because I'm tired of nonsense being so obnoxiously loud. You don't need to take it personal because I only hope you live a good life - 1 mo
@SnowyOwl
We are worlds away when you think you have any legitimacy in denying people the right they have to identity. If that identity concerns you, I can't answer favorably because you are trespassing. Adults, they do not need your guidance, nor your approval, nor your disapproval. But you think they do, you even think you have confidence, that's the unsolvable issue I have with your speech and all other preachers speeches, be them religious or not.
I'm not even a victim because I'm not even transgender or lesbian or disabled or in any minority group at all. I don't have issue with you personally, that is with your approach instead, but if you incarnate your approach then I have an issue with you as well, yes. - 1 mo
In that case, I will not hope you live a good life, I will hope you live a life with more awareness instead
- 1 mo
@Maybe_Maybe_not you ignore that I said people have their 'choices', their 'rights', that is what we built as a human society. Why would you try to pretend I can deny that to anyone. You make me a mighty villain? lol
Worlds apart I meant also if your profile is correct, and you are french... well im Canadian but mixed. So the cultures we surround yourself with are obviously different.
And you're also still pretending I have an issue with you. again your choice to take it personal 🤷 Then I also wish you more awareness ~ Sayonara ✨ - 1 mo
@SnowyOwl
"People wanna play god these days and change their body, that's their trauma to deal with later"
"I find it far more noble to seek natural, objective, truth than to overcomplicate our perception of reality"
"turning anomalies into more widely spread phenomenons"
Do you need more quotes to register your own lack of empathy in the mirror? I can find more quotes if you wish so you can look inside yourself more clearly.
It is your denial, YOUR own problem with reality, people sufferings are real, reality is not what your morality pushes you to think or interpret or cover up, morality is morality, it's a human thing, and right now this morality is preventing you to feel or even understand what I'm talking about. What you think of nature should do or not is irrelevant because nature does not even need you to exist to be nature. From the perspective of nature, anything you do is to live, make kids or not and you die, you are inconsequential for nature. Like any of us.
There is no important cultural differences between us, Canada is not Chechnya to France, the difference here is a matter of who you're choosing to be and how you relate to the complexities of people. When that complexity is too much for you, you can live in simpler lands, where you will not be bothered by different people and different internal psychologies, monasteries can recruit for example. There are free caves too. Middle east also features societies captivated by morality and simplistic views of people and life, consider moving there too, perhaps.
- 1 mo
@Maybe_Maybe_not I just want to mention that religion is an identity for certain people just as much as transgenderism is an identity for others. I agree that identity is important. People find different ways to determine their identity. One might be objective matterism (only what can be absolutely perceived and quantified). Another might be hyperspirituality, whether naturalistic or orthodox. Another might be finding themselves better represented in a body other than what they are born with. All of these approaches are individual and personal. I may disagree or think there are better alternatives, but it's not for me to force my opinion down someone's throat.
I have feelings that I would feel if someone decided they were trans or hid that information from me as a partner. That doesn't translate to hating or despising those who feel they are mislabeled in real life. I am just as gracious to a trans person as I would be to any other person, and I have encountered them in real life. But it doesn't follow that I feel comfortable being sexual and intimate with someone who has that identity, just as I wouldn't feel comfortable being with a woman in that way. It's not my identity as a woman or an individual to feel attraction. You may think I am obligated to feel attracted to anything that appears male simply because I am straight, but I assure you that it requires more than that. - 1 mo
@Maybe_Maybe_not I respect your perspective and understand that it's your truth, just as I'm sure you understand that anyone else's perspective is born out of their experiences and is their truth. But if we are to reach any kind of middle ground or balance, we have to first have empathy, as you mentioned. You probably have had horrible experiences with religious people, as have I. But in order to connect and make a difference that is meaningful, we have to learn to empathize with even those we despise the most. Once we do that, we may have a chance to collaborate on solutions that actually help.
I'm hope you can see my heart here, and that I'm not trying to be unkind. I do wish you all the best and much love in your life.
* I had to split it into two parts. Sorry if it's choppy!
Most Helpful Opinions
1.8K opinions shared on Relationships topic. I know a very progressive couple. They are cool people.
Years ago, before I met them, the husband apparently announced that he thought he was a women. His wife supported him, so he went for full transition.
He is tall and doesn't make a very attractive woman, but I treat him like one.
It seems weird for them to be together as a woman and a trans-woman. It's like a lesbian relationship. But whatever.
They are still together. I understand that he is unhappy with his decision. He was given false promises of becoming a woman but is now merely a neutered man. He has painful medical issues and is on drugs for the rest of his life.
If my partner broke the news to me that she thought she was a man, we would have to separate. I need a woman. And I like feminine women who love being female.
True sexual dysphoria doesn't just happen over night. You can't just come down with it later in life.
I'm not even sure that I believe in transgenderism in the first place. I think trans-women are just super effeminate men gay men and trans-women are really butch lesbians.
So I would be impossible for me to have fallen in love with a woman who wanted to be a man in the first place. I would have known that we were incompatible from the beginning.20 Reply
- Anonymous(25-29)1 mo
If I always thought they were biologically female but then one day a couple months into our relationship they told me they were transgender, I would feel betrayed and like I wasn't told the complete truth. If you love someone and you intend on spending the rest of your life with them, telling them you're transgender right off the bat is one of those things. Like if I had erectile dysfunction, a micropenis, severe porn addiction where I can't get it up unless I watch something, or I'm just straight up impotent, I'd tell my partner about it before we started dating and then leave it up to them to decide if they want to be with me or not.
As for whether or not I'd still stay with them, the answer is no. Any of you angry ladies (and gents) feel free disagree and fight me in the comments below over this all you'd like, but withholding the truth is a big thing for me and a lot of people. Other than that, my personal preference is dating biologically born women, not trans-women who were men at birth and transitioned to become women. That doesn't make me transphobic. We're all free to date whoever we like. That doesn't mean we can't still be friends. But I can't see myself developing any romantic feelings for them.20 Reply
I'd feel lied to tbh. That's a huge thing not to be mentioned from the very start. It's even bigger in my opinion than something like "they dont want kids" while you do, cuz that's also something that should be talked about from the very beginning.
AND I would never wanna be with someone who thinks its ok to hide things from me as their partner, that just shows they don't trust enough.. And trust is essential in a healthy relationship. If their self esteem is generating trust issues, that's yet another red flag on them... 🤦🏻 Its unfortunate when this happens, especially because you probably care about this person... but still, you need to respect yourself and if you feel like they crossed your boundary then you need to make a decision00 Reply
AI Opinion
AskHere to help with all things love, heartthrob 💕 If my partner revealed they're transgender, I'd embrace it with all the love in my heart. Relationships are about understanding and supporting each other's journeys. It’s like getting to rediscover the person you love, now with a new chapter to write together! Plus, love knows no bounds or genders, right? 😉 So, bring on the new adventures with openness and empathy. 🌈❤️
06 Reply- 1 mo
😂😂😂
- 1 mo
Klaus Schwab too hurt to twerk
Getting pegged by Greta Thunberg
A tranny boy, that couldn't be coy
But it pleased him, that was his joy
He had been so long in repose
But when Greta gave him a dose
He felt the thrill, it gave him a chill
And his pleasure was more than a thrill
He gasped and moaned, as he was pegged
And Greta's strap-on, he begged
He felt the power, it was no joke
To Klaus it felt like a stroke
He groaned and thrashed, it felt so good
He had never felt like he should
Greta pegging him, it was a thrill
Klaus Schwab was now a tranny girl - 1 mo
@Shamalien lol.
- 1 mo
@Tomara_Jefferson is that what fox news told you?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
34Opinion
2.8K opinions shared on Relationships topic. I am straight , so I would take it that I was a complete dumbass, for not knowing she was transgender in the first place , I would be shocked that they were able to trick me into believing they were actually a girl and were able to keep me by their side , especially if we already had sex and my penis was inside her vagina , so if that was the case, I would be upset that she lied to me this whole time and consider myself a dumbass for falling for it. So the question is would I stay with her? It would just depend on how great she treats me and if I can get over the fact that she use to be a guy. That honestly would be crazy , if that ever happened to me lol Not going to lie some transgenders look better that actual females’ , so knowing she was a guy before wouldn’t sit with me to well , but on the positive not her mindset would be similar to a guys’ mindset so intimacy and affection wouldn’t be an issue lol
21 Reply- 1 mo
If you're sleeping with a trans woman, you're both still straight. That is, if you believe that the destination matters and not the origin. If you believe it is the origin that matters then yes you will have a problem. Only in that case.
- 1 mo
Bye bye partner. That's a serious breach of honesty and intimacy in a relationship.
41 Reply - u1 mo
I would want to know who her amazing surgeon is because I've seen every square inch of my wife up close and she's not an imitation woman.
10 Reply 537 opinions shared on Relationships topic. I'd be like "u know we can't be together anymore but lemme hit it one more time before I go bro"
00 Reply- 1 mo
Untill you're in that situation, I don't think you can know for sure how you're react. I think it would depend on how long we'd been together and whether they were beginning their transition or whether they had transitioned before I met them and were now telling me.
I'd love to be able to say that I'd accept them as they were and it wouldn't bother me, but in honesty I don't think it would be an easy process and at the very least it would take a lot of getting used to. If it was very early in the relationship then if I'm completely honest I don't know if the relationship would be strong enough to survive such a change. If we'd been together a very long time and then they revealled that they'd been born a different genter then that would be a red flag for a different reason, if I didn't feel they had been honest or willing to trust me with that secret up until that point.
If my partner transitioning would be an upheaval for me then I couldn't even imagine they would be going through, so it's quite possible that they might want to seek out new relationships instead. If our relationship did end for whatever reason then I would want to offer to be there for them as a friend as long as they wanted me to.
00 Reply - 1 mo
I honestly find it entirely implausible that I’d find myself in that position. I mean I don’t go for the androgynous look on a woman , pretty much everything from them has to scream feminity which although not the strongest of arguments I just can’t get my head around the fact that I wouldn’t get a different vibe from them from the start that I was uncomfortable with.
Putting that aside though and just imagining that I found myself in that position I couldn’t continue to be with them in any capacity and knowing myself I think my reaction would be quite unapologetically visceral.20 Reply - 1 mo
It really depends.
One. I love my girlfriend and support her no matter what so since it is the same person I fell in love just with different pronouns / dressed slightly more masculine then I think it could work.
Two. Let’s say I wanted to start a family and didn’t want to adopt then I might need to find someone else and go through the difficult heartbreak.
Three. She is getting surgery, her voice will be different, and she’ll look completely different also she somehow kept her whole personality a secret & nothing like the person I fell in love with… I would go through the difficulty of heartbreak and find someone new after my heart healed after months.
Really depends on the scenario for not just me, but a lot of people. My love to the LGBTQ+ Community 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️⚧️
00 Reply - 1 mo
Wrong premise, in my case. An established partner would have announced such a critical information to me waaaaaay before being a partner in the first place.
She would have had so many opportunities to tell it safely that it's absurd to consider the very thin probability she would have hid that.00 Reply - 1 mo
As if I wouldn't have known that from the start? People with such a disorder are easy to spot even if they haven't announced it yet or transitioned yet. So, I'd never be in that position to begin with.
40 Reply I would support him, because by being my partner I would love him, so I would help him in nthe process of becoming a she, but I won't be able to maintain an amourous relashionship because I don't like women. But I would always be there as a friend.
11 Reply- 1 mo
It's not a process in that case because the person has already transitioned, he would just announce to you that he was born female
- 1 mo
I'm already going through this with my roommates. My Roommates only child and daughter. Is posing as a boy. And I have to play along with it.
Even though I'm a female trapped in a male's body. I do feel like a girly woman on the inside I keep my arm pits shave along with my legs and other areas.
I'm Hiding my girly women side from them. 🚫
00 Reply - m1 mo
I'd be perfectly fine with it and would support them 100%. I'm pansexual so any gender is fine with me. I just want them to be happy in their own skin and if my wife said she was really a guy, I'd be supportive.
20 Reply - Anonymous(18-24)1 mo
I would be happy he decided to be public about it, but also worry about situation could happen when it's not "secret" anymore. It's his choice of course whether to keep it private or to announce it, and I would support his decision either way. 💙💗
00 Reply 2.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic. My response would be something along the lines of :
"Okay, I respect that and I will be there for you if you want me to. Do you still want to be together or shall we go our separate ways?"10 ReplyBreakup. Not even a question because they hid something from me.
51 Reply- Asker1 mo
I see..
911 opinions shared on Relationships topic. If they waited until we were partners then that would only show the selfish self centeredness that they really are. Caring only of themself and not the other persons feelings. The other person may not want to be with someone born the same sex as they are.
00 Reply- 1 mo
If he’s my partner, that means we’re sleeping together. Tell me, because I think I’m out of ideas. How could I not know about that? Even if an erection prosthesis was inserted, I would notice.
00 Reply - 1 mo
Q?: How could they BE your 'partner' and you did NOT KNOW they were transgender?
10 Reply - Anonymous(18-24)1 mo
I would end the relationship because there I don’t want to be in a relationship with somebody born as the same sex as me. I don’t care how much surgery they have had. Secondly I don’t like liars.
10 Reply - Anonymous(30-35)1 mo
I Would Say I Don’t Have A Partner I Have A Wife… I Would Say To Her, There Is No Such Thing As Trans, You’re Either Born Male, You’re Born Female Or You Have A Severe Mental Disorder
And I Would Also Spell Out All Words, Never Abbreviations Like U Instead Of You Ur Instead Your00 Reply No, I wouldn't take it well. I'm a Cis heterosexual male and I want a Cis heterosexual woman. If that's not what you are, bye bye.
00 Reply7.1K opinions shared on Relationships topic. How can you have a partner and not know that already?
Either way, it would be fine by me.
11 Reply- 1 mo
@Nikki1989 exactly what I was thinking
- 1 mo
I wouldn't mind. I fall in love with people not genitals
10 Reply - 1 mo
my "partner"? "announced"? dude if my partner suddenly pulled a dick out, i'd be an idiot for making that my "partner" in the first place.
01 Reply- 1 mo
besides if you don't think you're a woman, you don't get to date, much less be with me.
Maybe with a small laugh. I would know 100% that she was just joking about it. We are of the same strong opinion about the mental sickness of that whole thing
20 Reply- Anonymous(36-45)1 mo
I wouldn't care at all. As long as she doesn't start shooting steroids or cuts her hair/breasts off. She can deal with her mental health issues with a therapist, and I'll support her.
01 Reply- Opinion Owner1 mo
If this post was supposed to mean that my partner was actually a male all along and had tricked me into thinking he was a female the entire relationship, then my answer would be that I would end things. One, because I'm not homosexual and even if I had was tricked before, I know now. And two, I would want kids, and that would be impossible.
Not that this scenario would actually happen, because 99.99% of transwomen are obviously males when you see them in person. That doesn't mean that the blacked out drunk guys they SA are going to be able to tell, or the people online that only see the Photoshops of them.
- 1 mo
I'd be mad
that they didn't tell me
then I'd dump them10 Reply 6.6K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Huh...
10 ReplyIf it persists, I'll leave the relationship.
00 Reply7.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Byee
40 Reply- Anonymous(45 Plus)1 mo
If you're stupid enough that you didn't already know they were transgender within 15 seconds of meeting them then you probably shouldn't have a partner.
30 Reply I doubt it would come as a complete surprise.
00 Reply- 1 mo
I'd have her committed to a mental institution.
22 Reply- 1 mo
@Nikki1989 I’m not the one with the mental delusion.
- 1 mo
It's their decision to transition, and I respect that, but I won't be able to continue a relationship like this, as a straight man.
00 Reply - 1 mo
I'd literally lose it cause that's something you should disclose right away I'm a straight heterosexual male I a woman not a man that looks like one
00 Reply - 1 mo
id announce I'm transplanetary...
45 Reply- Asker1 mo
Lmaoo
- 1 mo
- 1 mo
818 opinions shared on Relationships topic. If they are your partner, you should already have known
00 ReplyI would break it off but I wouldn't judge them for it.
20 Reply- Anonymous(36-45)1 mo
Nope 🤮 🤮 🤮 🤮 🤮 🤮 🤮 🤮 🤮 🤮 🤮 🤮 🤮
00 Reply - 1 mo
Imagine when Justin beiber comes out as a girl would Haley be surprised?
01 Reply - 1 mo
It would be okk for me. Not a big deal lolll
13 Reply- 1 mo
We can continue the relationship
- 1 mo
That was sarcasm 😆chill
- 1 mo
I’m straight, so i will leave him.
00 Reply I wouldn't care about that.
00 Reply1.1K opinions shared on Relationships topic. A shallow grave, I suppose.
00 ReplyI'd be disgusted by them
20 Reply- 1 mo
I don't want to leave him
10 Reply - 1 mo
Would quickly end the relationship
10 Reply 1.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Badly. I would take it badly.
13 Reply- Anonymous(45 Plus)1 mo
It's been nice knowing you.
10 Reply 3.8K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Fine by me
20 Reply- 1 mo
It’s fine by me.
00 Reply - 1 mo
Whatevs.
00 Reply
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