How can I cope with my dad having left us?

[Anonymous]

My dad recently left me and my mother. I feel betrayed by him and all my trust i had in him. I am still shocked and cry a lot. Now everything will be different and i am am scared of the future.

si its hard for you when you dont know my family membrs personality and background stories. I try to keep it as short as possible still:

my grandmother, the mother of my father has died in February. Now my grandpa is all alone in our native country.
my mom found out how my dad quit his job and also his parking lot. There are also many other indications he might is planning leaving the country we live in. My would always be a little suspicious. So we always asked my dad if he is planning on leaving us, as we could see how he was packing all his stuff etc he would just lie about it and say no. We also asked him about the parking lot why he quit the contract. He would just lie about it and also about his job. So he told us he would visit his dad for two weeks and come back to us on this Monday. And on Friday last week my mom got a phone call my him taht he will never come back to us again. So we were both totally crying. now we found out he is also signed out of our appartment and adress. So he did so many things we just found out recently and we are like totally shocked how he played us. He also doesn't andwer the phone anymore. Now we have to be together. I always could count on him and now he totally betrayed my trust. I also worry about the money how we will live now..

i feel so unloved by him and betrayed. We always knew this would happen once as he would always plan on retire in our native country and he doesn't want to work anymore. But now that his mom dies this was a major push factor. I can't belive also HOW this happend like he totally played us and he just told my mom he had no ther choice cause we wouldn't have left him.

i worry so much right now about the future, i miss him and can't belive he played us like that.

[Pinay_ako]

I’ve been there, done that. I was 16 when my father did this to me and my mom. My world crumbled but my mom stayed strong and I was selfish then. I didn’t realize the sacrifices and suffering my mom went through to keep us afloat but she made me realize that things will be better if we stay strong together and she told me forgive my father and understand why he did what he did. It was hard but trust me it will get better. long story short, I stayed with my mom and tried my best to help her in any way I can. They’re back together and stronger right after I graduated college. Pray! Things will be better

[Asker]

Thank you

[Origamileaf]

Frist you should collect yourself wth your Mom. Of your finance, belonging, and nearest support for single Mom. If you are still studying try to speak with your school consular to ensure you can graduate this year.

But if you have graduated. Then it is time to apply for work with your diploma on your resume. Work together with your Mom on job hunting and look for an apartment that's afforable for your situation. Sell some stuff if needed too.

If you have relatives who can provide some support. Try to reach out to them with your Mom. (If you have good relation with them.)

Don't reach out to your Dad anymore without a lawyer. Unless you have to become a witness. Your Mom will need to file divorce if possible too. So talk with her about lawyering up.

I wish there was more to say. But I want you to know it'll get better. You don't need to forgive your Dad. But if you can move on and better yourself. Then you are doing yourself well in managing your life.

[Asker]

Thank you very muxh

I dont know what to feel and think
I still csnt realize he really left cause i could alwqys count on hin really and now he really betrayed my trust. I feel very down and sad i am also angry but much more sad
I want him back and i also feel betrayed that he disnt choice me first (dint want to sound egostic but still i mean i am the child the future) i can't forget that and i dont think i will ever be able to forgive him for that. I dont hate him too i mean how coudl i hate someone i really loved from one day to naother day i just feel very sad and betrayed
I also worry now about the future but mostly i just feel betrayed

[exitseven]

Wow, I am not sure what country you live in and what his legal obligations should be. You need to understand that this does not reflect badly on you. It is a horrible thing that he did and the fact that he planned this makes it even worse. Don't let this ruin the rest of your life.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[Kingofkings1992]

I have never experienced anything like this. I’m sorry, all I can say is it will get better with time. Be strong you got this, you still have your mother. Try to be there for each other as best you can.

[Asker]

Yes its very crazy actually this whole thing. Thank you very much i hope me amd my mom will not fight cause we sometimes do nad than its extreme. I hope we will stick together. I feel very betrayed and sad i just can't beleive this cause i could always coubt ob him. I dont hate him. I am sad and angry. But more sad. I dont think i will ever be able to forgive for that in my life. I still miss him very much

[BoopBoopBeep]

Yep, it sucks, but at the end of the day you're an adult and you have to drive on regardless of what other people in your life come and go. You don't acutally NEED a mother and father in your life. You may want it, it may be better for you, but you're an adult so you don't need to be raised by them. There are hundreds of millions of people who made it without a parent in their adult lives for a multitude of reasons. You are no less capable of making it than they are.

[Nikki1989]

I lost both my parents at the age of 12 and still haven't totally healed all these 21 years later. Things will get easier, but it takes time. Stay strong.

[Asker]

Omg thats terrible i feel so sorry

[Asker]

Thank you

[In_Trance]

Why don't you reach out and talk to him about it

[Asker]

He doenst reply and pixk up his phone amd when he does he obly says "i can't get back home" whixh is true he has gave up on everything he can't be in the country anymore

[In_Trance]

I'm sure this is very difficult to deal with but at least you tried reaching out. Hopefully things change for the better someday

[Asker]

Thank you
Me and my mom now just need to stick together and be strong

[In_Trance]

My fingers are crossed for you. Wishing you good vibes

[Asker]

Thank you very much