Would you say there is a lot of truth to what my father said?

[Anonymous]

Yesterday was the very first time, my father actually a long daughter-father adult conversation about relationships and guys. He thought I was now old enough to have that conversation.

He said waiting till marriage is the best deal (I'm 17 and a virgin but not religious though; dad is agnostic) a young woman can ever have, that it should be the man sacrificing it all, the woman making the man wait, not the man making me wait and wasting my years till he's ready to commit, the other way around... making him wait till I'm ready to give in and get commitment first.

Last things he said was along these lines:

''Whether you'll make it a virgin on your wedding day that's your choice. Just remember, do not think you're special just being his girlfriend and all this moving in together with a man BS. While you're still just a girlfriend, he can say ''I love you'' many times and you're not winning anything. You're not special. I repeat. You're not special. He can easily replace you and find another girl and you lose. Having kids if you're just his girlfriend, even worse. You double lose, a million times, lose.

Whenever my father talks about a serious topic, he does go straight to the point. He didn't sugarcoated anything here. So there is a lot of truth to what my father is said?

[Lionman95]

I would say yes. Make him wait till you´re ready for sex because you have more to lose them him. A guy that´s not ok with waiting is not ready to commit but is mainly interested in sex. It sounds to me like he wants to be honest with you. I think especially important is the part "get commitment first".
I also like that he tried to destroy any false hopes of being any special just because you´re someone´s girlfriend. That´s important because a relationship either for a man or a woman shouldn´t be taken for granted because something you take for granted isn´t important to you.

[Asker]

Yes my dad doesn't sugarcoat anything and when he says the reality of things (even if the truth hurts), it's straight to the point. I actually like that because it's logical and what it is. It makes sense since we have a limited time to find commitment and form a family during our most useful years and can't afford to be endless years dating.

[stepyo99]

Your dad is smart and you should listen to him. Waiting for sex until marriage is the best way for both men and women to ensure a successful, long-lasting relationship.

It avoids complications like having kids before either of you are ready, or changes in feelings that you might experience early on in the relationship, or being manipulated as just a sex object and nothing more. That's what your dad is getting at.

Marriage requires commitment from both people. Dating is meaningless and can end just as quickly as it started. I wish I had saved my virginity for marriage. Sex without that commitment and passion felt empty and like a let-down.

[Asker]

True. By just being in a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship, you're still dating. We're at disavantage by staying as a girlfriend for too long because that means he's wasting our best years, which is really in the early-mid 20's. My father explained me that too. I'm impressed he took all the time with that conversation. He didn't include god nor religion but the logic of why waiting till marriage favors a woman. All his points does make sense.

[Staximus]

People are going to have sex. Just don't let any guy get you pregnant until he marries you, and don't marry any guy until you have lived with him for at least a year.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Absolutely. There's 7 billion people in the world. Everyone is replaceable.

[Asker]

It's sad when other girls give in to sex and get so excited about being a guy's girlfriend and think he's going to propose one day, only to either get dumped and ditch the guy after wasting too much time.
True.. I can't win by staying at just girlfriend. Since the guy is the usually the one asking if we want to be their girlfriend', he's still the one in charge of either progressing the relationship and saving my fertile years (proposing) or continue keeping her as just a girlfriend and she wastes her years. Tough reality but real.

[gothbxtch]

no, just be safe and have sex when YOU personally want