Parents say I can't cut off jealous sister?

[Anonymous]

They won't leave me alone about a person I don't like. We don't have fun around each other. Why am I not allowed to mind my business and live my life? Everyone seems so focused and picking on me. I simply want to be left alone. I'm in grad school and going to law school. Me and my sister haven't been close in a decade. Why won't my parents leave me alone? My sister can't stand me. Her temper is bad and tried to physically harm me in the past. I have a right to cut off this person. Also her life is troubled and her daughter is a crack head teen and is jealous of me too. She also has a autism son. I don't want anything to do with my sister and her life. I don't love this person. I mean I love her from childhood but other than that im not interested. What do I do?

[Oliverlogan263]

That sounds like a really tough situation. Family drama can be so draining, especially when you've got your own life and goals to focus on. Here's what I think:

- Your parents are probably just worried about "keeping the peace" in the family, but that doesn't mean you have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.

- Make it clear to them that you and your sister's relationship just isn't working, for whatever reasons. Just because you share DNA doesn't mean you have to be super close.

- Compromise by keeping things cordial in person at family gatherings if you have to see her. But don't feel obliged to hang out one-on-one or talk all the time.

- Focus on the family members who do support you unconditionally. Surround yourself with people who lift you up.

- If your sis gets threatening again, don't hesitate to take action like file a report to establish a pattern if needed. Your safety comes first.

- Give your parents time - hopefully they'll come around to accepting you need space. But set that boundary firmly if they keep pressuring you.

- Take care of yourself. Your future is what matters - keep hustling towards your goals no matter what else is going on around you. You've got this!

[slatyb]

Where are you? If you are in a Western country my advice is:

You are an adult and don't have to obey your parents. Do what you want. Establish a boundary -- that you aren't going to discuss your relationship with your sister. If they bring her up, then leave the conversation. Eventually they will stop. If you live at home it's past time to move out.