My best friend is having an affair with a married man. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

My bff (24) has told me that she is "texting and talking to" a married man. The wife doesn't know. My friend says she sees it as a challenge, like a game to see if she can get him to leave his wife, and she clearly doesn't care about the wife's feelings or the implications of what she's doing. Neither does he.

She's actually been a good friend to me, she used to be a kind and considerate person and we've been friends for 7 years. But recently she's been going through this wild phase where her morals have gone out the window. I don't know what's happened to her as of late.

Should I distance myself from my friend, give her my opinion on what she's doing, or leave out of it and keep being friends with her? I feel sorry for the wife and this is something that makes me look at my friend a different way.

[IslaTheWitch]

Friends are not for fixing someone's life.

I can see here four people.

1. You. You care for everyone, but primarily for your friend, which is very noble. But remember that everyone lives on their own account. We can talk and share our opinions and concerns, but we can't make decisions for other people.

2. Your friend. She flirts with a married man, which is not a crime. What she says can be true or just bragging. Even if she flirts, she can't force a grown-up man to fall for her.

3. This man. He is married and flirts with a single young woman. As long as it's only flirting, let's say it's not a crime. But if he falls for her, cheats on his wife with her, leaves his wife for her - it will be his decision, and he will have to bear the consequences.

4. The wife. She is someone who her husband's decision could hit.

From my perspective, getting involved in this affair will make you co-responsible for some events you shouldn't be. I strongly recommend sharing your opinion with your friend and pointing out things which are not acceptable to you with clear information about what negative impact on your friendship it will have if she crosses the line.

But also remember that not your friend is responsible for this man's marriage.

[Anemone978]

I would tell her my true feelings that I think she is being a hoe and she should leave married guys alone especially if she is trying to take him.. Then I would watch it play out from a distance and if she gets hurt tell her she better not come to me for a shoulder to cry on because I honestly don't feel sorry for her LOL

[MrOracle]

in my opinion, if you don't tell her the hard truth about her behavior, you aren't really her friend. A good friend would risk the loss of the friendship to help the friend from making such bad mistakes.
.
And of course, men almost never leave their wives - at best, she is going to be a side chick that he uses for sex until it gets inconvenient. She is heading for a cliff and, at best, the fall is going to be very painful. If the wife finds out, though, it could get much worse for her as well as the guy.

Ask her to imagine all the ways a vindictive woman who feels that your friend has destroyed her whole life can do to destroy HER life... Some have even killed everyone involved.

[DannyUk2017]

You should worry about your own life! Simple!
Unless she is in great Danger, i don't think there is anything you can do... She is Free to choose whom to talk/sext/date. Same would happen to you if You were in her Shoes!
I hate when people give me "advice" how to live my life either i'm happy or not! 🤷‍♂️

[ManOnFire]

Lots of women do what she does with that 'challenge' idea as you mentioned. That doesn't make it right of course, but there are a lot of women like that. Yet the irony is that they would absolutely hate being cheated on if it happened to them.

You should tell her what she's doing isn't right. Doesn't mean she'll change, but at least you did the right thing by letting her know as a friend that you don't approve of that.

[jshm2]

She wants to be a professional sidepiece and homewrecker, that's her choice.

But just remember that some wives will kill the friends and family of home wreckers...

As the old saying goes: "everyone has choices, but no one can choose consequences of those choices."

[Anonymous]

Time to distance yourself from your friend. I mean if she can try to screw over a random woman if given a chance what will she do to you if she finds you in her sights. People you thought were friends and would always have your back can be the worst betrayers because they know where you are vulnerable and if they can hurt you with a word to someone else with out you finding out sometimes they will.

[Carina0]

If you are uncomfortable with the fact that she is still continuing after stating that what she's doing is wrong and it is affecting your friendship (for you and your feelings for her) If I were you, I would distance myself from her. Friendship with a person who has no moral values only consumes you

[exitseven]

I would give this a good leaving alone. I would not really hang out with her anymore either.. Sometimes friends change and the relationship changes. Sometimes after some time goes by maybe you patch things up.

[bolverk]

If you have any sense you'll stay well clear, or you could end up being labelled as being like her when this crashes, as it invariably will, You could try talking to her about it as a friend but more than likely she'll dismiss your concerns, from then on she's on her own, draw away and let her deal with the resulting car-crash.

[msc545]

You really need to stay out of this except for the fact that her behavior in this situation should tell you something about how much she doesn't care about the feelings of others. In the future you may become a victim of this too if you keep hanging around with her.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

It’s none of my business who my friend f*cks.

I wouldn’t have an affair with a married man though, I would never be able to share my man with another woman.

[madhatters4]

give your opinion. tell her what is at stake beyond what she sees as a challenge.

but after that it's up to her. it definitely makes you think again about the friendship though

[Luopio27]

My former friend was a cheater! That is why he is a former friend. They cheat in not just sex but in life as well.

[HelpfulWoman]

report it to the wife and cut her the fuck off. she has no standards and frankly would be a liability if you ever got into a relationship.

Are you really friends with trash or not?

[YesterdaysChild]

I sure wouldn't want friends like that. To me she would be untrustworthy, have no conscience, and eventually be hurting more than one person.

[LazerBean]

Time to get a new best friend and get rid of the trash.

[spartan55]

I wouldn't have anything to do with your skank friend if I were you. Otherwise you will be cast in the same moral light.

[laurieluvsit]

She's an adult. I would leave it alone.

In most cases this type of thing doesn't work out in the end and she will learn from it.

[Maddy2002_]

I be gone cause what they do could come back at you. Might effect you.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Tell his wife, show her proof if possible.

Then ditch your "friend".

Homewreckers and cheaters are scum.

[pickles77]

You should talk some sense into her. It’s the right thing especially for that couple

[noohair]

First, the only person I know I can fix is myself. Second, I keep out of any of the personal stuff, you never know the truth, only versions of what people say.

[Sasha0426]

End the friendship. I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone like that. People like her piss me off.

[Sasha0426]

But, I think you should tell her what she’s doing is wrong and imagine herself being in the same situation. If she reacts negatively, end the friendship.