Did unhealed generational trauma affect you?

[sheikalana]

It helped me understand why my relationship with my dad is the way it is. Dad doesn’t have the best relationship with his mom who didn’t have a good relationship with her dad.
I’m not a parent yet but really want to be a mom next year. Never met a child who didn’t like me but I’m afraid I won’t be a good parent because of what’s been going on in my family.

[rosemilk]

the fact that you are aware of it and want to change it is really good, actually

and yes, i am extremely affected by trauma. we have boomer parents, how could we not be? i'm aware of the things i don't want my child to experience when growing up and i will make sure they don't have the same experience to me. so that in itself is a step in the right direction.

[LazerBean]

Not directly, but I can see how it's affected my parents and the families of their siblings. They've tried very hard to protect my siblings and I from the problems of their family, even when it was hard and actually down right rude. But it worked for me and looks like it will work for my younger siblings. You just have to do what's right for your kids no matter what.

[sawno]

It didn't, but I only believe in this on the individual level where your parents copied their parents mistakes and generation upon generation thinks its normal behavior. That can stop with anyone really, they just need to be willing to change. So you will be a good parent since you identified there are issues and your willing to fix them in yourself.

[sheikalana]

Hopefully.

[sawno]

Its not a matter of hope, I believe in you that you can do this since you are motivated to fix it. You have that ability in you I am sure of it, but it will require a lot of self reflection and if need be introspection with some outside feedback.

[sheikalana]

Here's the thing. I know exactly what the issue is but I'm not a parent yet hence I have no clue how am I going to deal with certain situations under stress.

[sawno]

Probably with enough awareness to prevwnt it. The first 4 years your child will be maliable so you have at least 2 years to overcome it with some time to undo the damage if you messed up.

[Jamie05rhs]

Probably. My mom was a bit of a cunt, and I think I realized that my grandma was probably that way to her as well.

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks for the MHO.

[MemeSupreme]

oh it definitely did lmfao im like in your boat of being afraid about being a parent one day and fucking them up

[Danny_dan92]

In a positive way, yeah

[eagle1951]

nope