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I actually suck š I just give a hug or stare š I don't know what to say.. Wbu?
3 mo
- 1.9K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.
u unfortunately... I've had experience with it, but no... it's never easy and many times it requires different approaches, most of the times you learn of this on the go
somethings though, being there with a hug, or just listening to them can be good enough and also better than nothing... any little help can actually be of great help in the moment
it does suck big time yes, and even when you've done right it might still feel like you didn't do enough and it's still going to feel awful because of course, we do not want to see others people suffer, right?
I would not say I am "good" at it... but I know that I've been there a few times for those in my life who needed me at the hard and the bad moments, I've always been there to support and help yes... and a couple of times with strangers as well, that by circumstance, and it is always been appreciated by them
it'll never get easier though
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I'm great 👍
- 321 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.
I'm the empathetic type. I'm a good listener and a good shoulder for crying. And my friends use it as often as they need. But my aim is never for comforting per se. People, more than comforting, need a space to throw things out. To rage, mourn, yell, and swear until negative emotions are out. Then, they can get a grip on themselves and go on. So I'm there only for them. For their need to have someone who will listen to them without judging or evaluating them. And when it's done, I'm there to show other perspectives and help find solutions.
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I probably make it worse! I remember when I went to a good friendās fatherās funeral. She was comforting me the whole time! I was an emotional mess. There is a friend of mine on here, even though he has his share of faults, he was amazing when my grandfather passed away a few years ago. My whole family was very appreciative of him. But me, yeah, donāt expect me to make you feel better.
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I seem to be very good at it, I have very expressive face and body language and a lot of people have felt comforted in my presence.
Someone has told me, I master words - like a samurai masters his katana, that and my body language - and I feel like I exude the feeling of safety and comfort for people in pain.
Which is a big responsibility ngl, because when people are so prone to trusting you and being vulnerable to you, you canāt hurt them or you canāt exploit that trust.
I do my best. I've figured out that being too affected by what the other person is going through isn't actually helpful. I was always so tense because I didn't wanna seem insensitive or make things worse but then I didn't know what to say at all. So now I just try and be more normal and just accept that the situation sucks but keep being me and just be as supportive as I can be but not squish myself with my own expectations.
Everyone has their own way of being supportive A few months ago a friend of mine who has BPD was in a crisis over a guy. And 3 of us were all doing our part. I was not the person who was holding her when she was crying but that's ok.
I'm also horrible at it. The only way to get better is with experience sadly because that is not something anyone wants to do. And like others said it's different with different people. I'm horrible with most but good with some. Some people it's as simple as a hug or just sitting there and listening nothing more. When they need or want other things I am horrible at reading what they need. The more you are with someone the better you get for them because you learn what they need. Again it only gets better with "practice" for most some people are naturally good at it. I'm a single guy been my whole life so I have never really got to learn how to comfort better except for a rare few that I haven't seen in years honestly.
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I have improved immensely from when I was a teen. My friends would cry because a guy dumped her or something and I would just stand there and rub her shoulder and say "there, there, its okay" lmao
I had no idea how to comfort people because I never had anyone to comfort me when I was growing up, I always just dealt with my feeling alone and I wouldn't dare cry in public even if I was beat up. If I cried people were dying. But now since having a partner and growing up, I know how to handle feelings and comfort someone else. -
I am in the middle, as it depends on the person, what happened, and my current mood.
If we have good chemistry, then I will likely know how they prefer for me to comfort them whether it is distracting them with something or validating their feelings. However, I am terrible at consistently validating my friends casually by making them feel important. Also, if I believe the issue to not be a big deal, then I do not care - they can walk it off (happens more with guys). -
Iām terrible at it. Iām like you, a forced hug and a look that tells them, āI really donāt wanna be doing this right now but feel I have no choiceā. Itās not that I donāt care or feel sad for them, itās more thinking they might not want this right now. Maybe they wanna be left alone? I donāt know!
The best that anybody can do for someone who's stressed and not doing well is to listen to them. Let them speak and just be by their side to listen and acknowledge them that they're being heard and you're there to share their problem. The challenge most people face today is they don't have someone to share their pain and feelings with. So the best is to be by their side and let them know they're being heard. Then depending upon your relationship with them you can comfort them with a hug, etc
- 515 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.
There are two differences stories I could share.
The first one my sister was heartbroken because a guy played her, she vented to me and I hugged her, held her close and told her everything was gonna be ok, told her it was ok to cry and be sad but it was temporary and sheāll feel better eventually. (Seemed as if this helped her)
The second one I was deployed in Japan, we where there for 7 months at the point my roommate found out his wife and mother of his 2 kids was sleeping with his neighbor/friend. He was devastated. Multiple mornings weād wake up and heād cry at the foot of his bed, I legit didnāt know how to console him, only thing I could think of was hand him a beer and pat his back. - Anonymous(25-29)
Iām terrible at it! Iām to the point where I donāt even try anymore. This is kind of a hard subject for me, because many years ago I tried conforming a lesbian into a heterosexual woman. Why, you ask? Because she was fucking hot! She had her moments but ultimately, she left me for a woman. I think itās kinda funny that you think just a hug could conform someone. Lol lol ha ha ha
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I totally sucked at it especially with males, I was really cold with them. Giving a hug is great comfort 🤗 to most people it really makes them feel better even if you don't say anything. So I wouldn't say you suck at it.
I prefer to verbally comfort through reassurance. I don't really like to physically comfort people I notice. And I also feel less of a desire to comfort someone if they're behaving in a way that I don't agree with. Then I'm just usually in awkward silence.
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I wish I was better at it. Iām a āgood times guyā, thatās when itās best to wheel me in. Emotional supportā¦Iāll try, but Iām not good at it. Iām sympathetic, but I never seem to know the right things to say to an upset person.
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I think I'm pretty good when it comes to comforting others in my opinion. I can easily relate to them and whatever scenario they're in and give advice. What I've noticed though is when it comes to girls when they're your partner, they're not always looking for advice and sometimes it's difficult for me to decide whether it's a time for advice or to just lend an ear.
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I am moderately competent at comforting others, albeit in a rather unremarkable and unexciting manner.
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I've gotten better at it over the years. I usually ask if a hug would help, then ask what would help and give them three options. I can sit there and talk with them, I can just sit there and be with them quietly so they're not alone but there's no pressure to talk or entertain, or I can give them space if they need it.
I've been told I am. I definitely good at comforting kids being a teacher. I am also a good listener so I let people vent to me be there to hug them or be a shoulder to cry on. I really do my best to help comfort people whether I know them or not.
Sometimes I'm good, other times I don't know what to say or do. So I just listen, give them a hug lol 😬
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I'm really bad. I never know what to say and for the most part I find logic to be easier. I struggle to interpret emotions properly as well and I'm not good with social queues.
I don't mind hugging some people but I have never initiated a hug as I don't know if that's something that I can feel comfortable doing. I really only can accept physical contact with some people. -
Not bad but often say wrong things. I suck at emotional stuff
I'm below average I think. Sometimes I find it difficult how to react in such situations. I do wanne comfort them because I feel bad for them but I'm not sure wether I should just listen, give them a hug or give them advise 😅
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