Do you ever feel alone in communities where you thought you'd be welcome?

[Lynx122]

Since I'm autistic I looked around for autism communities like on discord. And I found one that was nice for a while but it changed over time.

The only box I tick is being autistic and it seems like that's not enough anymore. I'm not gay, I'm not trans, I'm not nonbinary, I don't dye my hair, I don't self harm, I'm not depressed.

Even the music I listen to seems to be "wrong". Someone asked for songs that explained what it's like to be autistic and the song I related to the most growing up was Brain Damage by Eminem.

But the most upvoted answer was Will Wood And The Tapeworms... It feels like they've reached some kind of consensus on what you have to be like when you're autistic and I'm not part of that vision in the least bit.

I was honestly hopeful that I would find people that I could truly connect with once I was diagnosed. It's way harder than I thought it would be. From the outside when people share something that makes them different from everyone else it always seemed like those people were really close. I was hoping I could experience something like that too. I did connect with some people but a lot of them just moved on. Aside from my girlfriend (I'm very grateful I met her) I haven't felt like I'm really part of this community. I'm an inconvenience someone they have to put up with because I'm also autistic but I don't really fit in. After some incidents and just the feeling of not belonging and not being able to be myself I left. Since then I talk to one person still which is nice, but it was completely different than I thought it would be.

It's not like I didn't like any of the people but if the trans chat room is by far the most active and I can't be part of that discussion then it becomes hard to connect with people. And there also was a reddit type of mentality taking over where you had to have a certain opinion or there would be problems. Before it was more free and fun.

[mandyfire98]

I could see how it would be tough for someone on the spectrum to maybe fit in to communities of people also on the spectrum. I have a cousin who is on the spectrum and something a lot if people on it deal with is almost like a tunnel vision. They are very particular about what they like and their interests. Have trouble sometimes seeing from other's perspectives, sometimes can't understand why everyone else isn't interested in their interests. My cousin will start up a convo with me and it'll be about some game he's interested in and it'll be all he'll talk about. He doesn't show interest in what other's like at all. You have to go into his world and not expect him to enter yours.

So if you have an entire community that also has trouble with this very thing and they're also laser focused on their interests then I could definitely see it being an issue.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

That had never happened to me.

I usually receive warm welcome 🤗 from people in the communities that I visit.

[Anonymous]

No, unless I’m by myself alone and don’t know anybody